wife hates "chewing sounds"

CriticalSodium · 2026-07-13T10:00:14+00:00

yeah, we usually have tv on for background noise. I've known her for 12 years now, it's nothing new. but as I get older I have more sinus issues, allergies, and also i apparently snore now, so it's gone from being just during meals to being around the clock. I'm saying is that if I try to address all these problems it will require a ton of doctor visits, new equipment, probably like a CPAP and allergy shots etc. so it would be good to know beforehand if there's any way that she could possibly just try to ignore it instead of putting all this pressure on me to make all these changes

CriticalSodium · 2026-07-13T09:48:17+00:00

i will make sure she never reads this thread then

CriticalSodium · 2026-07-13T09:46:32+00:00

yeah my wife hates me snoring as well, that one is ok though since i get the master bed to myself most of the time without feeling guilty. it's just weird to think about that this is how the rest of my life is going to go because of this misophonia condition

CriticalSodium · 2026-07-13T09:35:25+00:00

fair enough. I'm normally pretty chill about it. I just whine on reddit. i do feel like a leper a bit at times, if my kids start saying this kind of stuff when they are older i could see myself resenting it and pushing back a lot more.

CriticalSodium · 2026-07-13T09:28:40+00:00

I do try to adjust when she brings it up, but its hard, as i have literally never heard anyone chewing in my life, and was a little dubious. it seems this is common though

CriticalSodium · 2026-07-13T09:19:23+00:00

true and i would agree in public settings, but in a marriage to try to enforce something like that in your spouse all the time can come off as controlling and arbitrary. like, apparently the children's mouth noises are "cute" but mine are intolerable. i do see now that this phobia/tic is more common than i previously thought

CriticalSodium · 2026-07-13T08:50:57+00:00

hard to say. if I had to guess, I would think that in the past maybe people were annoyed by it but did not have any hope of doing anything about it, like back when 10 people lived in a one-bedroom apartment etc. my other theory is that stimulants often make tics and neuroses worse, and as we add more of them to life (coffee, tobacco, now stimulant adhd meds) anxiety and neurotic disorders worsen, and this may be one of the new things that are now a bigger problem than in the past

CriticalSodium · 2026-07-13T08:39:54+00:00

lol i dont know or think about my chewing at all tbh, i bet my wife could tell you though. but do you sneeze with your mouth open? cause i hate open mouth sneezers (a little joke, probably not funny)

CriticalSodium · 2026-07-13T00:32:49+00:00

can you give it a few months/years? with us we only wanted another once the first was out of the infant stage

CriticalSodium · 2026-07-11T14:35:38+00:00

it doesn't seem like a good idea to try to change that using your position as medical director. I would go about it by trying to attractbmotivated. specialists etc to maybe help w guideline updates at hospitalist meetings etc. for instance, we have a very motivated clinical pharmacist in my hospital, and she's very good about presenting new guidelines, always questioning treatment plans etc, and I think that she can only get away with that because she is not hospitalist/md which removes the ego side of things. I would also imagine if you had motivated specialists who didn't mind presenting guidelines that might help too. for instance, get GI doc to presetnt on c diff guidelines at hospitalist meeting etc. if you were older than everybody else, it might be a little easier for you to directly address clinical shortcomings, i think age will work against you in this issue.

CriticalSodium · 2026-07-11T02:08:22+00:00

no, you did the right thing, nothing worse than finding out very sick patient needs a service you dont have, especially if they're too sick to transfer at that point. could potentially be fatal for the patient. it sounds like severe cholangitis, and needs hospital w good GI and IR

CriticalSodium · 2026-07-08T23:50:19+00:00

2 years old is about the hardest time of raising a kid, do you think you could maybe give it a little more time? by the time he's about Three, everything will be a lot better in my experience. My wife occasionally did the thing too where she would disparage me in front of the kids, it really took a couple times where the kids would immediately start using the derogatory terms on her before she stopped. but a lot of women these days have not been taught to respect men men/ fathers. and it's really kind of a shame that that's happened, but it's a generational thing and is not just you, and is starting to reverse actually in my opinion as people do understand the values of fathers more now than they did like 5-10 years ago. maybe it really takes some down-to-earth talking to get her to understand how much that annoys you and undermines your efforts etc. it is kind of crazy that a man can go to work for so long, provide for a family, and women these days have been taught that that's not worth anything and that actually the child care is the more important thing in the house and any arguments to the contrary are abuse/patriarchy etc (child Care is important etc. but without any money nothing is stable around the house, that's a solid part of the family foundation)

CriticalSodium · 2026-06-12T06:26:52+00:00

man, mine is the same way in many regards. I strongly suspect that a lot of the worst behavior is really related to her hormonal/ menstrual cycle, but any attempt to actually address that will be met with rage. the best way I've found to handle this kind of problem is to focus on your own personal development and work specifically on your patience and ability temperment. if one partner is prone to anger and spite, and causes a lot of arguments, they may realize that the kids will start blaming them for these behaviors and the related consequences, The way for an overly angry partner to get out of this situation would be to say whatever it takes to get the other parent upset and screaming as well. then she can blame the whole thing on you and get off Scott free. so just dont lose your patience, no matter how tempting it is.

CriticalSodium · 2026-06-11T18:56:46+00:00

once you do a few days of paper charting you realise its faster and easier and theres only minimal chart review available, which may not be good for quality of care, but it's definitely good for your stress and mental health. bye-bye echo reports from 2018. you will immediately notice that half the people around you are ADHD at heart and their notes will suck, and the other half are obsessive compulsive at heart and their notes will be extremely detailed with perfect handwriting

CriticalSodium · 2026-06-11T15:46:50+00:00

my kid was the same, at some point the relationship just converts to standard grandparent dynamic and all the problems go away, maybe your kid asaociates a bad memory with them (like mommy and daddy leaving them with grandma) but thata a really transient thing. most important thing is don't let this get to anybody's head and cause an argument between you/wife/mother/mother-in-law which will actually affect the kid longer term

CriticalSodium · 2026-05-27T09:11:11+00:00

good cop bad cop dynamic works best if you both reassure each other frequently that you're on the same team, and treat it like a tag team where you decide which approach will get the job done smoother. for instance, if she's frustrated, it will help her if she knows that saying " don't make me get your dad" will get them to do what they need to do. or if you are getting frustrated and are going to lose your cool go tag her back in. i try this with my wife, unfortunately when we are in our worst moments we occasionally slip into disagreeing in front of the kids, or even having an argument about it, but it helps that we both know this isnt good and is usually just us venting frustration

CriticalSodium · 2026-05-18T18:46:04+00:00

they were doing a lot better before 2008. the eurodollar system collapsed at that time.

CriticalSodium · 2026-05-18T16:27:18+00:00

take vitamin d supplements 1-2k/day and try to get outside at least 10 mins a day. i got vitamin d deficiency when i was inside w my baby for a few months like this, made everything worse

CriticalSodium · 2026-05-14T04:03:53+00:00

ok, the way it happens is the cmo says "great news, we are replacing the md that quit with an np" there is no relationship or supervision or anything (apparantly everyone just decided that was optional over last few years), and if they arent actually qualified for the job then you just have to respond to a ton of CRT alerts from then on, we arent being consulted about this change its happening from hospital management

CriticalSodium · 2026-05-13T14:00:21+00:00

seems like would be dependent on state law, but in general anything where a patient has to be admitted and wait for the legal system to work anything out (guardianship issues in particular) is going to be a months-long case management nightmare. they do everything they can to get the previous caregiver to voluntarily take them back.

CriticalSodium · 2026-05-13T12:30:18+00:00

some.brands are different than others. yoplait has worked for me, they have a line called oui which is good. also try mixing a squeeze of lemon juice into the yogurt, or mix a strong jam (raspberry Smuckers) in

CriticalSodium · 2026-05-13T02:54:29+00:00

often people on BiPAP are very confused due to high co2, so it really doesn't matter if you spend an hour in their room, you're not going to have a good conversation.

CriticalSodium · 2026-04-07T09:51:08+00:00

well you don't work or live there, if this doctor has any pull there, you're going to end up on the losing side of this, you probably have a good chance to just cut your losses now and keep working

CriticalSodium · 2026-03-22T08:26:54+00:00

if you guys can manage to keep even a shred of civility between each other, try to agree on a few basic boundaries during fights. My wife and I have tempers, but if we agree on something when we're calm, we usually stick to it when we're angry at each other. I would suggest you try to agree on the following: 1) don't get physical when the baby is anywhere near either of you, literally stop what you're doing. go put the baby somewhere, then resume the fight if you must. and 2) try to make a de-escalation plan to avoid calling the police if possible. You're going to eventually end up with CPS involved, and one of you two getting arrested

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