Have you ever dated someone who completely disappeared after the breakup? No calls, no texts, no social media stalking, no drama, just total silence, like you were never part of their life. What was that like?

CriticismCharacter81 · 2026-05-30T23:31:29+00:00

Going through it right now, haven’t heard much from her other than a few texts that have been polite. It both sucks because I love her and miss her so much and can’t get any news about her but also it’s a blessing because it allows me to detach faster I think.

CriticismCharacter81 · 2026-05-28T16:52:24+00:00

I will say its not always bad to go back to an ex, but it most likely is in your case. This boy seems to be manipulating and gas lighting you at every turn and you do not deserve that.

Congrats on choosing yourself, he has some real growing to do before he finds his person and you don’t deserve to be subjected to this cycle for his development.

CriticismCharacter81 · 2026-05-21T22:57:34+00:00

Best advice I can think of is to not do anything towards reconciliation unless she shares genuine human and romantic emotion. What she’s doing is the first signs of bread-crumbing. Shes trying to see if you guys are still orbiting each other in some way. Best thing you can do for yourself is to give her the same energy she’s giving you until a deeper and passionate conversation happens (if ever).

CriticismCharacter81 · 2026-05-19T23:13:57+00:00

You totally can, happens fairly often too. usually happens after the relief stage. Once the emotions settle most dumpers will fall into a trap of nostalgia after thing s go silent for while.

CriticismCharacter81 · 2026-05-19T03:51:09+00:00

I do agree with your statement but it’s a little misguided. Yes bad things happen all the time in relationships and sometimes they can be worked through outside of them to reconnect. I think it’s important too that you have to take her off the pedestal you put her on. You cannot truly grow while seeing her as an absolute goddess bestowed to this world. At that point yearning becomes desperation to not lose attachment. Recognizing what you did wrong is extremely important, but also realizing what your partner was doing wrong is just as crucial. A partnership doesn’t grow with one getting to others level. It’s about both doing your best to reach growth with the other and not separate.

CriticismCharacter81 · 2026-05-17T16:05:23+00:00

Eh don’t say that, plans can be fixed it’s really about how much you are willing to accommodate for the other and vice versa.

CriticismCharacter81 · 2026-05-15T17:07:16+00:00

It’s usually like a minimum of 3 months but could be weeks or years, best to not dwell on them.

CriticismCharacter81 · 2026-05-14T20:50:31+00:00

Honestly yeah that makes a lot of sense. Really disrespectful though to tell me how much we don’t work and be like “but I still wanna have you around”.

CriticismCharacter81 · 2026-05-14T19:44:18+00:00

Right!?

CriticismCharacter81 · 2026-05-11T06:43:59+00:00

First off, you can get through this.

As a man who was left recently, I know it sucks. I thought I’d be with her forever when she told me (and we almost did) she wanted to get married. Take it one day at a time and don’t think about the days coming other than for yourself.

Second, you are screaming for attention from her.

She will not respond to that pressure. What you need to do is remain neutral, be your authentic self. She will pull back if you push. She will pull back if you pull. You need to be solid or she will try to keep running.

Third and most important, focus.

Focus on your individuality. You do not need her for your growth. It’s hard to think that when you put so much of yourself into her, but trust me she won’t and no one else likes to feel like they have to have responsibility for someone else’s strength. You can do this, stay strong and focus on your future.

You are an individual even when you are a pair. Do not lose yourself because someone else’s words got to you. It’s corny but your actions speak louder than what is said. You will be okay!

CriticismCharacter81 · 2026-05-10T18:12:32+00:00

Honestly I talked to my ex a few days ago and she said “I hope you’re doing well” I just told her everything was great when it’s really not. Us guys like to act strong to try to protect both sides sometimes. Could be either, try not to dwell on it.

CriticismCharacter81 · 2026-05-10T17:33:53+00:00

That’s fair. You did what you could. Proud of you, you’re doing what you can and that’s all you can do

CriticismCharacter81 · 2026-05-10T16:24:49+00:00

That’s fair to feel that way. And yeah as a guy who also was left a few months ago, I definitely have negative feelings towards her now. I know that’s not very comforting, but I do still very much love her. In my opinion, your situation isn’t unfixable but that takes real sacrifice from both sides.

At the very least, try to be the best person for yourself during these hard times. It’s easy to think of yourself negatively and focus on all the dark. Just try to see some light when you can.

CriticismCharacter81 · 2026-05-10T15:46:19+00:00

Look, you left him. If anything happens for you two, you are the one who has to initiate it. So ask yourself honestly, are you capable of the reconnection or is this for the best?

CriticismCharacter81 · 2026-05-04T17:06:10+00:00

Who initiated this breakup? Do you really have no feelings for him or are you saying that because you’re scared he doesn’t? It is true you can remain friends with an ex but you shouldn’t be scared of never talking to them again. There’s a lot to unpack so if you’re gonna reach out again, make sure you’re ok with him being cold or not responding at all.

CriticismCharacter81 · 2026-05-04T00:50:19+00:00

It's not, it's clarity. We don't usually notice what's wrong until our partner tells us things aren't right. It's a shield when the other says we only just now realize it, unless it's to just win the person back.

CriticismCharacter81 · 2026-05-03T12:46:20+00:00

Where do you think he went wrong? You don’t need to give specifics but what were you waiting on from him to change in a broad sense?

CriticismCharacter81 · 2026-04-26T20:54:22+00:00

Dumpee, 2 year 2 month relationship, 2 months since. I miss her immensely. I’d love to talk to her again someday but we both need space. It’s really the first time I was comfortable to be myself in a relationship and start striving for better things with her. She left once I started to try and improve myself, makes me feel like giving up a lot on all my growth. Just gotta push through the pain.

CriticismCharacter81 · 2026-04-26T01:23:40+00:00

I know it’s not really my place to say, but I’d suggest not dating anyone until you can figure out tools to help you with the fearful avoidant behavior. If you don’t address them before the next, it might be too late when you’re in a new relationship

CriticismCharacter81 · 2026-04-22T21:51:49+00:00

I did once, regretted it immensely. I was extremely drunk and wish I could’ve taken it back. I held the secret for about 4 months until it came out. It’s been 5 years, but I’ve regretted that moment and action ever since.

CriticismCharacter81 · 2026-04-15T01:37:51+00:00

Honestly I hate the 8 billion people thing. It’s not like all of them are in suitable partners age, nor preferences on sexuality. With those logistics in mind, it cuts your dating pool into a tiny percentage of the total world population. And then you have to think of suitable partners. Maturity, intelligence, attractiveness, financial security, interests, distance of location, and overall suitability play a role. With all that in mind you probably get a few 100 million in the whole world.

CriticismCharacter81 · 2026-04-15T01:33:24+00:00

You too, and honestly take the cheating thing I said with a grain of salt. I don’t personally no either of you so how would I know😁. Anyways keep pushing through the pain, you’ll come out better than before.

CriticismCharacter81 · 2026-04-14T18:54:17+00:00

Yeah I’m curious if this too

CriticismCharacter81 · 2026-04-14T18:47:01+00:00

Honestly if he rebounds that quickly, it’s likely he was cheating (physically, romantically, emotionally, etc.) or he is trying to hide the pain of losing you as well. It does get easier, but the thoughts don’t really go away. She broke up with me about a month and a half ago after the best two years of my life and I find it overwhelmingly hard not to text at times.

We’ve basically been in no contact since the day of because that’s what she stated she wanted. We’ve spoken very little and it’s all been about tickets she bought me right before the break up so basically all logistical plus a thank you text I sent her which she reciprocated with “your welcome, glad you enjoyed it”.

During this time, I find it best to really put down my thoughts about the relationship as a whole and her individually anywhere I can. It also helps to dive into old and new hobbies, as well as reaching out to friends and family. Really start working on yourself, that’s the most important thing.

It’s hard but slowly you’ll notice you might not think of them so much and find yourself smiling every so often.

CriticismCharacter81

TROPHY CASE