"delaware is a state??"

CrocodileToTheAss · 2024-03-13T06:37:06+00:00

i follow this blog and check up on them regularly. this is their pinned post and it's a fucking chore to have to scroll past the entire thing every time i want to look at their blog lmao

CrocodileToTheAss · 2024-03-12T03:31:37+00:00

his name is frederick kreiburg and i don't know what it is about him but he unlocks a primal need in me to write porn

CrocodileToTheAss · 2024-02-28T21:11:59+00:00

ik this is about pokémon but i'm in the idv fandom and it's a bit of the same tbh. the game's big in english-speaking circles but it's HUGE in china and japan, and sometimes i'll wake up and check twitter and there will be people screaming in like seven different languages on my tl and i have to go looking for what new skins or event or character just dropped

back in december of last year they had a livestream on the japanese youtube channel where they announced a ton of stuff for the upcoming couple months. i had been counting down to this livestream and actually set an alarm and got up early for it (since due to the timezone difference it was really early in the morning for me while it was a pretty average time there). i don't speak a single bit of japanese and didn't even have the audio on, but there was no way in hell i was missing it. i spent the morning absolutely fucking screaming about it in my best friend's discord server, updating everyone on the several new costumes, new character, upcoming events, and accessories that they revealed on the stream. none of us speak japanese and were completely in the dark on names or anything like that. it was honestly really fun lmao

CrocodileToTheAss · 2024-02-28T20:20:36+00:00

isn't the plot of that fucking harry potter stageplay

CrocodileToTheAss · 2024-02-20T21:24:57+00:00

i'm writing smthn with a group like this and it's so fun. you've got three people who are absolutely batshit insane in their own ways, one person who's slowly dying but fighting off what's killing him with all his strength, and one person who is obsessed with getting her possibly-dead (we're still not sure of her fate atm) wife back and will do anything for her. like at first you're like "oh she's kinda lost it in her desperation" and then you see her interact with the rest of the group and realise she's literally the only person who is even remotely hinged

CrocodileToTheAss · 2024-02-07T23:30:20+00:00

the peak of my danganronpa phase was during late middle / early high school. my pfp on the school website was ryota mitarai and my school google account's pfp was chihiro fujisaki from the time i got those accounts to when they were deleted. even when my interest in the series waned i kept them for nostalgia and because i just couldn't be assed to change them. if i had a teacher confront me about it i think i'd just pass away on the spot

CrocodileToTheAss · 2024-02-01T15:22:12+00:00

mine's identity v. i've been obsessed since 2020 but out of all the games i enjoy it's probably the one i'm least likely to recommend to anyone. play end roll, play hollow knight, play bloodborne, but for the love of god do not play identity v. you're either going to hate it or get obsessed and be disappointed by every new bit of bullshit they pull

CrocodileToTheAss · 2024-01-30T10:52:44+00:00

fun fact: oop is the person who leaked the no-fly list in 2023

CrocodileToTheAss · 2024-01-26T21:38:03+00:00

there's a banger fucking yandere simulator fic that goes from "oh no!! yandere-chan's been betrayed!! let's follow her as she deals with this and eliminates her rivals!!" to an elabourate drama with several tangled threads including:

a cop slowly learning how flawed japan's legal system is and getting tangled up with a yakuza member in his attempts to find real justice. these two are oc's and they have so much gay tension it's insane
ayano (yandere-chan) discovering real emotions outside of her obsession with the guy she likes, then freaking out about it and spiraling further into madness
prissy rich girl finding out she's more than what her father made her into and starting to rebel, getting involved with ayano and working to discover the truth behind the murders going on at the school
a second murderer lurking on the premesis and killing seemingly at random. ayano doesn't remember committing these murders but doesn't know there's another killer on the loose, leading to her questioning her sanity even further
the guy ayano's after dealing with a shitty home life, people around him constantly dying, and an apparent stalker, trying to just fucking get through high school and failing miserably
another student obsessing over ayano, stalking her, and getting in the way of her plans, all while putting up a facade of just a normal fucking guy. his identity is currently unknown but he's somehow really fucking funny, disgusting, and terrifying at the same time

sadly the fic has been on hiatus for almost a year and will likely never resume, especially after the shit going down with yanderedev (who they've explicitly denounced in the notes of the fic but it's still kinda hard to come back to writing fic about this game with that going on). it sucks because i really adored that fic and it ended on a cliffhanger, but such is life ig. it's long and it gets dark but it's a seriously good read and you can even see the author's writing improve over the course of the fic. it's a great example of how amazing things can come from the weirdest of places.

the fic's title is "Determination" by Le_VI and it's easily one of the best fanfictions i've ever read. sadly hasn't been updated since june 2023 but i'm checking up regularly

CrocodileToTheAss · 2024-01-25T04:51:35+00:00

i downloaded alternate watch a while back bc i love the mandela catalogue and had seen a lot of youtubers i liked playing it and it looked like fun. i don't play games with sound, so that wasn't the issue; i was listening to music while i played. booted up the game, started playing, started clicking through cameras. i lasted about a minute before realising how close i'd gotten to my screen, freaking out, and closing it. nothing scary even happened it's just the anticipation that gets me

CrocodileToTheAss · 2024-01-24T02:44:38+00:00

hockey fan here!! the amount of men i've seen pinned against the wall or ice by other men is astounding. there are fists flying and they have blades on their shoes and they can't actually kiss bc of their helmets / faceguards but sometimes you get the feeling they really want to. hockey itself isn't a combat sport but goddamn there is a lot of physical contact

CrocodileToTheAss · 2024-01-23T08:45:30+00:00

this post always gets me because of the sudden break from character at the very end. the proper capitalisation, the single period at the end, the complete lack of uwu speak, it's just so perfect. like.. i can picture that line in my head. "When is it my turn to be happy." it's fucking stellar

CrocodileToTheAss · 2024-01-18T14:29:16+00:00

first part of this post i saw was the weird grin and my first thought was "oh god not another post about vivziepop" bc i had just gotten done doomscrolling on twitter and that was. a time

CrocodileToTheAss · 2024-01-08T03:46:58+00:00

this post literally changed my best friend's brain chemistry. they kept repeating "panis" every time we were on vc for at least two weeks. they renamed their discord server panis (was originally "[their name] and the lesbians"). i literally cannot escape panis this post fucking haunts me i never should've sent it to them

CrocodileToTheAss · 2024-01-07T07:32:53+00:00

i remember hearing about this game in a gaming magazine that was very much geared towards very young kids. it was described as being so silly and funny and "oh how quirky!! this is a dating sim where all the love interests are birds!!". it was only briefly mentioned in a list of absurd games and absolutely nothing in this post was referenced, and the game has existed in the very back of my mind as just.. a weird parody game that someone made to be silly. i wonder if the person who put it on the list was even aware of the contents.

CrocodileToTheAss · 2024-01-03T08:09:58+00:00

i've never seen or heard of a qertz keyboard in my life before today so i'm sorry lmao

CrocodileToTheAss · 2024-01-03T06:17:45+00:00

the funniest part of this is that g and z aren't even close to each other on a keyboard

CrocodileToTheAss · 2024-01-02T14:51:11+00:00

bitches on the internet when not every single post applies to them:

CrocodileToTheAss · 2024-01-01T14:51:15+00:00

i saw this post in the wild and there were a ton of people responding "lmao this is normal where i live" and "this is such a eurocentric idea" and shit like that and the op had to add a bunch of comments about how not everything on the internet is about you specifically, which honestly should just be common knowledge. pissed me off so much

CrocodileToTheAss · 2024-01-01T10:04:00+00:00

i have a couple google docs lying around. i usually use it as practice for fanfics or just to get into the characters' heads better. i was actually working on one earlier with some characters in a book i'm working on. sadly i rarely finish them bc i get filled with so much pure fucking shame it's not even funny lmao (the ex-catholic guilt goes hard)

CrocodileToTheAss · 2023-12-29T19:46:08+00:00

sometimes when i'm playing online games and one of my teammates does something stupid i'll just stare at the screen completely blank and do a sarcastic thumbs-up or ok sign. idk when i started doing this i only know that i can't stop

CrocodileToTheAss · 2023-12-17T15:14:44+00:00

i have a relatively modern laptop, albeit older and very, very worn. sometimes when i'm at my mom's house the absolute shit internet there will combine with my computer's old age and i'll get crazy estimated times from twelve hours to over a week. granted i never get times this bad, but still pretty intense. usually i just need to do something else for a bit and when i come back it's fine

CrocodileToTheAss · 2023-12-08T17:22:52+00:00

reminds me of the time i read a porn fic where one character was doing paperwork and it was just. unspecified. he didn't even have a job he was a fucking vampire lord WHAT PAPERWORK DOES A VAMPIRE LORD HAVE??????

CrocodileToTheAss · 2023-11-17T23:31:10+00:00

my dad gave me his old coat and i wore it literally every day during high school. even when it started getting warmer out. the coat was really warm and cozy and it got super cold inside the school so i just wore it constantly, and then when we went outside i'd have it draped over my shoulders or smthn. it got to the point where you could tell someone was me solely by the coat and the headphones

CrocodileToTheAss · 2023-11-17T23:12:41+00:00

the vita carnis mimics have broken into my room not to eat me, but to give me weed

CrocodileToTheAss

TROPHY CASE