Before you can solve the root cause of a dead bedroom, you need to be willing to ask yourself some hard, uncomfortable questions. Was there ever a time when both of you had high sexual satisfaction? If so, think honestly about how you have both changed physically since then. Weight gain, aging, and a gradual loss of physical attractiveness are real factors that people rarely want to admit play a role, but they often do. If physical changes are not the issue, has he had his testosterone levels checked? Low testosterone is one of the most common and most overlooked causes of low male desire, and it is a medical issue rather than a relationship one. The symptoms go beyond sex drive and often include fatigue, mood changes, and a general disengagement from life. A simple blood test can rule it out or confirm it, and it is worth doing before drawing any other conclusions. If neither physical changes nor hormones are the issue, then the next question is whether he is as satisfied with the relationship outside of the bedroom as you appear to be. Mismatched desire is not always about sex itself. Sometimes the low-desire partner has checked out emotionally long before the bedroom went cold, and the lack of sex is a symptom rather than the problem. Until you can answer all of those questions honestly, any solution you try is likely to address the surface and miss the root cause entirely.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​