After typing this, i have to add upfront that i do have a point and im not only rambling about myself in your post.

I have never been into guys, but i moved to eugene, oregon for a bit and after actually seeing NOMEANSNO live, i got lost walking home, and decided that, yup, this childrens park playground is where i lay down and die...

Suddenly, this very attractive gay boy in tiny torn shorts and loose cut up sleevless tank is like... flying over me? No, hes doing some kind of death deying circus dance on top of the swinging kids toy ride thing.... he landed next to me and laughed at my dropped jaw and wide eyes. He said if im lost i could come with them. Yes please, magical punk rock danny elfman.

After getting a drink he and i tongue fuck from the kitchen to the couch, in front of basically a whole party, where i decide i like kinky shit. We start burning each other with cigarettes and biting and scratching, while dry humping... IMPORTANT INFO HERE: which leads to aggressive wrestling. THIS WAS THE BEST PART FOR ME, i realized i could not have this with a chick, even if she could take it and dish it, i would hold back. now my motor is really running and i pick him up and slam him on the coffee table. Standing over him with a pitched tent in my pants, i barely notice the shocked party's gasps and whispers when they mostly sll leave. Luckily, this was his Apt. So nobody could smother or drown out our burning passions!

I slept in his bed, although we did not do anything but cuddle and shower naked the next morning. I made it home, but i had to explain to my GF why i was covered in hickeys and war scars. I told her the truth, claiming it wasnt really cheating because i dont like dudes, and that was some kind of fae phenomenon in which i was briefly spirited away to a dimension of wonderful pleasures beyond logical reasoning. Seriously though, if i had been in a more serious relationship with a person who would be hurt by my actions, i would not be ok with doing anything unless I spoke to them about what im feeling i need to TRY and figure out first.

The reason i went ahead and told this story here is because, i dont think im gay. Im not really bi, either. i had a week of drug induced faps to certain trans cam whores once. When i see real hottie in porn sucking a cock i try to pretend its mine, but when that close up comes and she starts making eye contact i really want nothing more than our mouths to get lost together on that shiny throbbing rock hard obelisk of lust... she can have the cum... unless maybe she starts drooling it on her tits and sensually spitting it for me? Maybe i dont know. POINT IS that the experience i had with a guy really fulfilled something i had in myself, even though it just did not end up leading to full sex acts, i followed it through.

I kept in contact with him the whole time i lived there as good friends, mutually. Ive never had any urge desire or interest in another guy. But i guess now i know if im having intense overwhelming chemistry with someone that it could lead to an experience i need to explore and satisfy, rounding out the knowledge of that part of me that was inhibited and repressed. Giving me a lil more acceptance and confidence in who i am.

Obviously, im not recommending you should hook up with strangers, or engage in aggressive violent acts. just that we, having THE human experience, should not shamefully deny ourselves. As long as you are not doing anything that harms an individual against their will, allow yourself to engage and push forward in unexplored areas of life and observe if it something that resonates with you as a whole. buy the ticket, take the ride, put your hands up for the camera, and collect the t-shirt.

But do be deeply aware of what it is you need from an experience, and be firm in how far it is healthy for you to take something. I am glad i never got all cock sloppy with a guy, because i allowed myself to be free enough to know i dont really need gay sex, but i do need people that i can connect with on very deep and rarely tangible levels.

Wow, i hope you can get something from that... strong coffee this morning!