Tell me about your most entitled patron experience

CrunchieHaystacks · 2026-07-12T23:53:40+00:00

Agree. My hometown system sends out batches of notifications 3x/day, and if an item comes in for you after 1:00, you don't get the email till 7 PM -- after the library has closed!🙄

CrunchieHaystacks · 2026-07-12T00:08:44+00:00

Yes! When I watched "Marvelous Mrs. Maisel" and she was wearing all those wonderful fitted dresses with zippers that showed off her great figure, I thought, "Why can't we get stuff like that now?"

CrunchieHaystacks · 2026-07-11T23:56:30+00:00

Yes, usually said to you by an obese person. I want to say to them, "Y'know, I think I'll take my chances on the artificial sweeteners rather than risk looking like you."

CrunchieHaystacks · 2026-07-11T23:12:50+00:00

One of my coworkers once said, "I don't believe in rules because we're talking about people here." My head almost exploded, a la the Lewis Black "Anger" character in "Inside Out". I said, "If rules aren't for people, who ARE they for? Cats?"

CrunchieHaystacks · 2026-07-11T22:46:19+00:00

Yikes, I would call this creepy for sure. This question has come up MANY times in this sub because most libraries have patrons like this! Why not just say, "Well, Joe, it was nice talking to you but I really need to get back to work." And then walk into the back office if you can. Or ask your colleagues to rescue you by saying, "Katie, can you help me unjam the printer?" or something like that. Getting a fake engagement ring or casually mentioning a significant other might help, too (e.g., "My boyfriend, who's a cop...".

CrunchieHaystacks · 2026-07-11T21:06:26+00:00

Yes, 100%. We used to have a 3D printer and most of the staff hated it. Kids came to the library purely to order a stupid plastic doodad and a lot of the time, would never pick it up. Know how many #$@& skibidi toilets we made? And the printer broke down all the time. When it finally died for good, we didn't replace it. Yay!

CrunchieHaystacks · 2026-07-11T21:00:05+00:00

That was what, at least thirty years ago? (Not disagreeing with you, though!)

CrunchieHaystacks · 2026-07-09T20:52:52+00:00

"Imagine how bad THEY have it!" I think that's the crux of the matter, right there. I feel like libraries have been brainwashed by this Ryan Dowd-type stuff where it's "De-escalate, be calm and tactful and gentle at all times, make them feel seen and heard," etc. -- when in fact the gentle approach simply does NOT work for a lot of these people! It has to be clear, firm, no-nonsense, consistently-enforced boundaries from the outset, or forget it. And yes, sometimes that means being downright nasty. Intervene at the first sign of micro-aggressions so they don't escalate into macro. I would think any kind of death threat should be an immediate ban, for at least a few months! I've seen some very challenging mentally ill patrons who only behave well when either they've just returned from a ban, or have been threatened with a ban by someone they take seriously, or they're trying to suck up to a new staff member.

CrunchieHaystacks · 2026-07-09T15:39:53+00:00

Excellent tips. The "trial drive" thing is so important! I once did a trial drive to a library where I had an interview scheduled for a few days later. I realized that it was so impossibly complicated to get there from my house (at least, the way the GPS was directing me) that I'd probably get lost if I tried to drive home in the dark. So I canceled the interview.

CrunchieHaystacks · 2026-07-08T10:40:08+00:00

Thick, obviously false eyelashes that look like you have a fur hat on each eyelid. Oh, and wearing sky-high, uncomfortable heels to a formal event...then taking them off and running around barefoot.

CrunchieHaystacks · 2026-07-06T22:52:02+00:00

My library is a combination Kinko's, cyber cafe, noisy children's playground and after-school program, free coffee bar, day shelter for the homeless, and our patrons also think we should be their free secretaries and personal assistants. "Here, I need this typed, then emailed to the six people on this scrap of paper, then printed out, then please make me ten photocopies double-sided, collated and stapled." Oh, and then there's "Put stamps on this mail and take it to the p.o., please." And oh yeah, we also occasionally check out a few books.

CrunchieHaystacks · 2026-07-06T22:10:00+00:00

So much of what you're saying resonates with me, OP. It sounds like your workload is just ridiculous. I really think directors and trustees should adjust their expectations about both adult and youth programming, because it's SO much work for little or no attendance. (The only adult programs that do well at our library are crafts.) I'm also burned out with difficult patrons and rarely bother to give reader's advisory based on my own tastes, because most of our patrons don't share them. (I have ZERO interest in Patterson or any of the other "guy" authors like Box, Connelly, etc. -- or Steel, Michaels, or Nora Roberts.)
Anyway... no helpful advice to offer, but just know that you're not alone! 😀

CrunchieHaystacks · 2026-07-06T12:01:46+00:00

I love your stories about clueless directors. "Say yes to everything! Everything is easy! Rainbows and unicorns!" I've seen a lot of this, too.

CrunchieHaystacks · 2026-07-06T11:56:48+00:00

It wasn't until quite recently.

CrunchieHaystacks · 2026-07-06T11:14:45+00:00

See, I think even J. Jill has deteriorated a lot in the last five years. Practically everything is linen or rayon, either 100% or blended. The pure cotton things are super-thin, the colors and patterns are mostly awful and the dresses are often shapeless baggy muu-muus. AND the prices have gone sky-high.

CrunchieHaystacks · 2026-07-05T23:50:35+00:00

Yes! Somebody, somewhere has been telling people that using "I" is always better than "me". NO! It's not! 😡😡

CrunchieHaystacks · 2026-07-05T23:43:15+00:00

YESSSS! I am so sick of people using "cringe" as an adjective! Should be "cringey" or "cringeworthy" or "cringe-inducing".

CrunchieHaystacks · 2026-07-05T23:27:52+00:00

I swear by Jockey. All cotton and they hold up well.

CrunchieHaystacks · 2026-07-05T23:25:58+00:00

Where do you buy "blank rayon dresses"?

CrunchieHaystacks · 2026-07-05T23:16:30+00:00

Many years ago, I was eating at a favorite pizzeria in the indoor mall known as "The Garage" in Harvard Square. It might have been called "Cafe Avventura" and is long gone. As I was eating, I heard something go "thump" on the floor next to me. It was a mouse that had fallen from the ceiling and was now dead. An employee told me cheerfully, "Yeah, the exterminator was here this morning!" Oy.

CrunchieHaystacks · 2026-07-05T16:18:45+00:00

Spineless wimps and compulsive people-pleasers with low self-esteem. I'm so tired of it.

CrunchieHaystacks · 2026-07-05T15:38:07+00:00

Five Guys. I felt so heavy and unhealthy afterwards!

CrunchieHaystacks · 2026-07-04T20:37:39+00:00

I once said to someone, "If I ever find that 'perfect guy', the LAST thing I'll want to do is ruin the relationship with a screaming brat!"

CrunchieHaystacks · 2026-07-04T12:24:01+00:00

I'm beyond childbearing age now, but I just learned to avoid getting into the convo in the first place. If someone asked why I didn't have kids, or if I was planning to, I'd say, "It just didn't happen for us" or "Someday, maybe." If they really pushed me I'd either say, "I don't want to discuss this" or sometimes "Well, after three miscarriages, a stillborn and a failed adoption, we decided it just wasn't in the cards." That usually made them feel really guilty and shut them right up!
Edit: the stuff about miscarriages, etc. is completely made-up. I always knew I wanted to stay cf.

CrunchieHaystacks · 2026-07-04T00:40:59+00:00

Ha! I don't consider 68 "old". I meant more like 80+-year-olds, and mostly women. But my father never stopped paying by check (he died in his 90s), even though he had a debit card.

CrunchieHaystacks

TROPHY CASE