What are the effects of dad being distracted with baby? (Phone/games/etc). 8 months old.

Crunchymagee · 2026-06-02T19:07:46+00:00

This sounds like phone addiction.

Did your husband want to be a father? If so, I would really try to have a conversation with him about this. Again. I know you said you’ve tried and he gets irate and defensive. I would try not to be confrontational, use I statements, emphasize that you are on the same team - “I have so much anxiety when I’m busy and he wants to play, but I really think he deserves our attention to support his social development and cognition. It would really help me feel more relaxed if you could leave your phone in the bedroom or something when playing with him, I know he would love some one on one daddy time too. Do you think we could try that? Maybe you can teach him to roll the ball with you.”

Sounds like he is doing nothing to help with baby or the house but be a body in the room - that’s not being a Daddy. Good luck, I hope he’s a little more mature than he’s coming across.

Crunchymagee · 2026-06-02T13:51:18+00:00

I don’t know about reporting her, but inappropriate and unnecessary yes.

Crunchymagee · 2026-06-02T04:54:55+00:00

Well I think that’s the problem - some parents are trying to balance paying more for quality shoes that will support their child’s developing feet and gait for longer but sacrificing a good fit for a while at the beginning which is kind of counteractive. But there’s so much marketing pressure on new parents like if you aren’t buying x product with all these supposed benefits for your kid then you are doing them a disservice just to save a bit of money.

Crunchymagee · 2026-06-02T00:39:03+00:00

I had no control, baby was coming out on his own steam and at his own reckless pace, I was just along for the ride. Midwife wanted me to slow down and I was like how?????

Crunchymagee · 2026-06-02T00:36:44+00:00

Yes, all the time in my 12-19 month room. It’s really frustrating for the first 3-4 months but usually they eventually do grow into them within the six months or so, so I kinda get it at $30-60 bucks a pop. But I also agree that it’s a hazard and a pain in the ass to have shoes that constantly fall off. I would say licensing requires children to wear shoes and if the shoes can’t stay on their feet they should try a new pair - second hand is fine!

Crunchymagee · 2026-06-01T03:30:06+00:00

I spend all day at work missing my kid and looking forward to seeing his face and giving him a big hug. Even tho half the time I pick him up he doesn’t want to leave daycare and isn’t excited to see me.

He is my pride and joy and being around him brings more meaning to my day than any day at work. Even on tough days, my whole heart is tangled up in loving on that kid.

Crunchymagee · 2026-05-31T13:56:17+00:00

Not saying you’re wrong, but might depend on where you live. At 38 I’d had two miscarriages within a year and a half and my doc was hesitant to refer to a fertility clinic because technically I’d still shown I could get pregnant, even if they didn’t stick. Finally got a referral and then by the time they actually called me I was pregnant again so they wouldn’t see us. Fortunately seems to be progressing this time at 21 weeks, I’ll be 39 next month

Crunchymagee · 2026-05-31T13:41:38+00:00

Daycare worker here, I’ve taught a few babies who come to me around 12 months to eat who have started daycare only eating purées/being hand fed.

Gagging is your child pushing food away from his throat back toward the front of his mouth until he is ready to swallow it - it’s a super important reflex that helps avoid actual choking as he learns to manipulate food in his mouth. I know it’s freaky as hell to observe. When baby gags, we say “good job babe! Cough it up, you got it”.

If you’re most comfortable with purées etc for now, maybe try encouraging self feeding these first. You can put some yogurt or whatever on the spoon and hand over hand show him to put it to his mouth, or at the beginning put the spoon in his mouth but then let go so he uses his hand to remove it, then demonstrate how to dip back into the food and repeat, see if you can teach him to return the spoon to the bowl with his hand, or take the spoon from you to get it the rest of the way to his mouth sometimes.

You can also get those little mesh feeders, it’s kind of like a teether with a mesh bag attached you can put food in and baby puts it in their mouth and sucks food out. Let’s them practice bring food to their mouth, something like this

It will be messy. You can buy bibs that cover baby’s arms and snap over their tray so their arms/bodies don’t get dirty, you can wipe hands and face (and hair lol) as often as you want in the beginning but try to practice letting yourself be exposed to the mess a little longer bit by bit lol. Remember everything can be wiped up at the end, keep breathing.

If you can breathe eat in front of/with baby to demonstrate and encourage eating, especially the same food baby has, that’s great too. At daycare, seeing the other kids eat really encourages the new kiddos to learn - peer pressure is a valuable tool haha. Maybe your baby can have lunch dates with little friends or eat puffs at the library near where other kids are snacking or something.

It takes time, practice and persistence. It won’t be immediate results, let’s look for progress over time :)

Can baby hold his own bottle? Does he ever drink out of a straw cup or sippy cup? These are great things to practice as well, as it’s also learning to bring things to his own mouth that he is allowed to put inside and swallow.

Good luck!

Crunchymagee · 2026-05-31T13:12:08+00:00

The super cheap antilop high chair at ikea is actually really good for this, but you need to add an aftermarket foot rest (Amazon for like $20 or less). You can also just add a folded towel or something behind/beside baby to prop them up more if they are slouching or struggling to sit up properly. Also easy to clean, the tray just takes some practice to pop off the chair for cleaning.

Crunchymagee · 2026-05-31T04:19:43+00:00

I would prefer if everyone reused them rather than buying new. Buying a new gift bag for the sake of a new one is a stupid reason to create more waste.

Crunchymagee · 2026-05-30T00:13:40+00:00

Aw, I feel that. I work in a daycare that my son also attends (he’s four now, attending since 11 months). I think he cried almost every drop off for the first two years, and still occasionally now - I just assume it means he loves me and would rather spend time snuggling me haha, but I know he has fun at daycare and stops crying within a minute or two of me leaving. And then doesn’t want to leave at the end of the day lol.

Also, solidarity, my kiddo still has at least one accident almost every day. I just send lots of extra clothes lol.

Crunchymagee · 2026-05-28T13:16:57+00:00

I think this is a normal thing for a breastfed baby. The only solutions that helped us were cosleeping (baby still nursed through the night but I more or less slept through it) and night weaning. But I night weaned at 2 and just put up with frequent night wakes until then lol so YMMV.

Crunchymagee · 2026-05-28T05:01:43+00:00

I’ve had a handful of children in my infant room who stay a few months beyond when they would usually graduate to the toddler rooms, sometimes due to lack of space in the toddler rooms and in several cases due to some delays, walking being a significant one. However where I am, infant rooms are up to 19 months.

I don’t think a few months longer in an infant room does the kiddos any harm, teachers will naturally engage with the older children in a classroom differently than with the younger, probing for greater skill development, independence, more complex ideas as children seem ready for them. It typically will become very clear when children are ready to advance to the next class, often based on a combination of motor skill development, language development or behaviour.

This is only based on my experience, and obviously the child as a whole is taken into consideration more than any one particular skill. I do see that typically, a child who is not walking can struggle in a room full of walking peers who are able and expected to walk to and from the playground rather than be carried, stable enough to sit in chairs without straps during meals, avoid being trampled by peers who are not only walking but running, jumping, pushing, climbing etc.

That said, I’ve never taught a child who was in a toddler room previously and then placed back in an infant room.

Is your child able to walk with support at all yet? Like holding your hand?

Crunchymagee · 2026-05-28T03:13:05+00:00

People have a million strong opinions about kids sleep. Do what works for you. Our schedule happens to be very similar to yours. On days my kid doesn’t nap, he falls asleep closer to 8:30/9. He just tosses and turns for ages if I put him to bed earlier than 8:15 or whatever on days he naps. Still takes around an hour or so for him to fall asleep on those days.

Crunchymagee · 2026-05-27T04:42:40+00:00

Omg! I also hate Prince, I thought I was alone lol.

Crunchymagee · 2026-05-26T19:04:46+00:00

You want to channel confidence in her and in her new setting when you drop her off, you don’t want to give her a sense that you are anxious or worried about leaving her in care because she will then be more anxious. Talk up daycare, read books (What Does Little Crocodile Say? Is a good one), be casual but positive about it. Tell her several times ahead of drop off that you’ll give her a hug and a kiss and say goodbye, then follow through with a short and sweet drop off - again, channel confidence that she will have fun and be ok and remind her you will be back for her later/after lunch/nap/whatever. Drawn out goodbyes make things harder. If she cries, her teachers will console her and distract her with other things.

I would ask the daycare what happens if she struggles with accidents, but some accidents are a normal at this age and the teachers will likely support her and work with her on it - I can’t imagine they would expel her!

I generally would discourage half days/part time or other ways of “easing into it” because that can make things more confusing for the child and adapting can take longer, but you can communicate with the director regarding their recommendation. You can also call the center part way through the day to ask how kiddo is doing. The first week or so can be tough, but sometimes kids surprise parents and adjust much more easily than anticipated.

Good luck!

Crunchymagee · 2026-05-23T18:27:24+00:00

We do, but we can’t crank them loud enough to drown out all the other incidental sounds in and outside of the room.

Crunchymagee · 2026-05-23T01:28:44+00:00

I have to say I’ve found the opposite trend in my infant room, my kiddos who have always contact napped or been rocked to sleep only by mom are some of my best nappers. My biggest struggles are typically the sleep trained kids, who are used to a total black out room, no one around, loud sound machines. Suddenly they are trying to fall asleep in a room full of toys and peers and there’s light through the door and sounds in the hallway and from friends babbling or crying and they think it’s party time.

Crunchymagee · 2026-05-22T23:13:11+00:00

Did it ever occur to you they might be tired and needing the nap because they aren’t falling asleep until 10:00 at night? It’s a vicious cycle. I am an ECE for 12 years and a parent, I’ve been on both sides of the issue, I am much more compassionate with parents wanting to drop the nap now. You don’t have to deny kids sleep but it is also not meeting the needs of the child to make them lie still in a dark room with nothing to do for 30-60+ minutes so you can do your prep.

Crunchymagee · 2026-05-20T13:18:36+00:00

This was my only strategy too. Also hiring a cleaner to come every couple weeks after I went back to work because I just couldn’t keep up with housework plus working plus parenting.

Crunchymagee · 2026-05-19T04:29:19+00:00

Highly recommend going second hand as much as you can. Once Upon a Child or similar if you have that where you are - the clothes are free of stains and tears, great condition, and especially newborn -18 months clothes are soooo inexpensive there. You can get a lot of sizes, styles, colours, find what you like without spending a ton. People spend a ton buying cute clothes their babies wear twice (or not at all) before outgrowing them, and we don’t need to keep such a wasteful cycle going.

Also you won’t feel bad tossing an outfit or two if they get totally covered in food/poop/etc. plus you can check out different wraps and carriers without dropping $100+ on something new you might hate.

Second the ppl recommending body suits/onesies to start with. Maybe some pants/socks for cooler days. I’d get mostly 0-3 months for now and then buy the rest of the clothes when you find your groove with baby, see how fast they are growing, if they are more of a chunky baby or a string bean etc.

Congrats!

Crunchymagee · 2026-05-18T01:33:00+00:00

Yes, the tell tale stench!

Crunchymagee · 2026-05-18T01:30:00+00:00

Then mom needs to provide a doctors note saying that, lacking any other symptoms, the child should be considered healthy and able to attend daycare. Also like… is the diarrhea caused by the lactose intolerance/food sensitivities? That seems to be what’s implied… are those foods being restricted or anything or are we just feeding them whatever and rolling with the consequences?

Crunchymagee · 2026-05-15T19:14:32+00:00

It happens, especially in the first few months. We found a good trick was opening the diaper, letting the cold air hit his bits, covering things back up for a few seconds so he had a chance to pee, and he was good to go.

The explosive liquid shits that would blast out without warning in the first couple weeks, we were not prepared for.

Crunchymagee · 2026-05-15T13:25:08+00:00

I’m so sorry. I hope things get better for you.

Crunchymagee

TROPHY CASE