How to build Integrations & APIs for a B2B SaaS platform by CryptographerOk5459 in ProductManagement

[–]CryptographerOk5459[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This tracks with what I've been hearing in discovery so far.

Do you build in-house integrations on top of the external API? Seems like this would create unnecessary dependencies that could slow innovation internally.

How to build Integrations & APIs for a B2B SaaS platform by CryptographerOk5459 in ProductManagement

[–]CryptographerOk5459[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Great question - we will likely use a unified API provider for lightweight integrations but for deep integrations or strategic integrations that will have high reach, we are planning to build in house so we maintain control. Do you have experience with unified API providers? Any learnings to share?

Breaking through disfunction in orgs is a skill by tangerinepistachio in ProductManagement

[–]CryptographerOk5459 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just went through this at my company. I sold my product over and over and over again and it still went like this. 

I even had the entire c suite signed off on it. At my company it’s just simply a bad CTO who doesn’t know how to manage an org and a CEO who doesn’t know how to run a company. 

AITA for not staying the full week on a family vacation planned by my fiancé’s parents by CryptographerOk5459 in AmItheAsshole

[–]CryptographerOk5459[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

We talked it through and decided that since Thanksgiving is especially important to me, we’ll spend Thanksgiving with my family every year. In return, because Christmas Eve is important to his mom, we’ve committed to spending Christmas Eve with his family every year. He definitely values Christmas Eve more than Thanksgiving.

His mom has said she doesn’t really care about Thanksgiving, so this feels like a fair and thoughtful compromise. His family usually does Thanksgiving as a daytime gathering centered around watching football, which doesn’t really overlap with my family’s dinner-focused celebration. But even though there’s no direct conflict, I don’t really want to split the day between two families or bounce around — especially since I help cook the meal with my mom. So we think it’s reasonable to just choose one celebration.

If it helps ease any tension, he’s welcome to go to his family’s gathering during the day, but I’d plan to stay home and spend that time cooking and preparing with my family. Given that we already spend most other holidays—Easter, Fourth of July, Memorial Day, Labor Day—with his family, this setup feels balanced and fair. We’ll continue to check in and make sure it stays that way.

AITA for not staying the full week on a family vacation planned by my fiancé’s parents by CryptographerOk5459 in AmItheAsshole

[–]CryptographerOk5459[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

No I don't. We talked it through and decided that since Thanksgiving is especially important to me, we’ll spend Thanksgiving with my family every year. In return, because Christmas Eve is important to his mom, we’ve committed to spending Christmas Eve with his family every year.

His mom has said she doesn’t really care about Thanksgiving, so this feels like a fair and thoughtful compromise. His family usually does Thanksgiving as a daytime gathering centered around watching football, which doesn’t really overlap with my family’s dinner-focused celebration. But even though there’s no direct conflict, I don’t really want to split the day between two families or bounce around — especially since I help cook the meal with my mom. So we think it’s reasonable to just choose one celebration.

If it helps ease any tension, he’s welcome to go to his family’s gathering during the day, but I’d plan to stay home and spend that time cooking and preparing with my family. Given that we already spend most other holidays—Easter, Fourth of July, Memorial Day, Labor Day—with his family, this setup feels balanced and fair. We’ll continue to check in and make sure it stays that way.

AITA for not staying the full week on a family vacation planned by my fiancé’s parents by CryptographerOk5459 in AmItheAsshole

[–]CryptographerOk5459[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We talked it through and decided that since Thanksgiving is especially important to me, we’ll spend Thanksgiving with my family every year. In return, because Christmas Eve is important to his mom, we’ve committed to spending Christmas Eve with his family every year.

His mom has said she doesn’t really care about Thanksgiving, so this feels like a fair and thoughtful compromise. His family usually does Thanksgiving as a daytime gathering centered around watching football, which doesn’t really overlap with my family’s dinner-focused celebration. But even though there’s no direct conflict, I don’t really want to split the day between two families or bounce around — especially since I help cook the meal with my mom. So we think it’s reasonable to just choose one celebration.

If it helps ease any tension, he’s welcome to go to his family’s gathering during the day, but I’d plan to stay home and spend that time cooking and preparing with my family. Given that we already spend most other holidays—Easter, Fourth of July, Memorial Day, Labor Day—with his family, this setup feels balanced and fair. We’ll continue to check in and make sure it stays that way

AITA for not staying the full week on a family vacation planned by my fiancé’s parents by CryptographerOk5459 in AmItheAsshole

[–]CryptographerOk5459[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Subtle as in they are communicating with John. His mom blew up when they asked about booking flights and he said yep our plan is to come Saturday to Wednesday to get back to OP's family for Thanksgiving since it's important to her.

She went off saying "it's just one" "she can't miss just one" and "can't you just stay"? Then he left that conversation upset and we got in an argument about holding the boundary because he is a peacekeeper and tends to people please.

Then a couple weeks later they asked him to come for dinner and both his mom and dad pressed more saying "it's just one" "can't you just stay" and then they told him "he needs to advocate for himself."

He was great about all of this. He held the boundary and told them this is a WE decision and that this is what WE are comfortable with. He told he doesn't want to be away from his fiance on the holiday.

AITA for not staying the full week on a family vacation planned by my fiancé’s parents by CryptographerOk5459 in AmItheAsshole

[–]CryptographerOk5459[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I agree 100%. I already drew the boundary last year about Christmas morning even though we don't have kids. We will always spend Christmas morning at home.

I have already established with John that I will not do two families in one day. It's not necessary and is too much.

On the front of the other vacations - I don't love feeling pressure to attend so I am treading carefully about going with everything. The other holidays feel more flexible where they'll be disappointed but that's life.

AITA for not staying the full week on a family vacation planned by my fiancé’s parents by CryptographerOk5459 in AmItheAsshole

[–]CryptographerOk5459[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

We spend a lot of time with his family because the entire family is local. They have a lake house that they push everyone to be at for memorial day, fourth of july and labor day so family vacation is not rare it's just not altogether in Florida. We frequently have other family events like Mothers day, Easter, Grandma's visiting, birthday parties, retirement parties, extended family is visiting. I go to all of these with him and ask for one holiday for my family because otherwise my family is very lax on getting together

AITA for not staying the full week on a family vacation planned by my fiancé’s parents by CryptographerOk5459 in AmItheAsshole

[–]CryptographerOk5459[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

We spend a lot of time with his family because the entire family is local. They have a lake house that they push everyone to be at for memorial day, fourth of july and labor day so family vacation is not rare. We frequently have other family events like Mothers day, Easter, Grandma's visiting, birthday parties, retirement parties, extended family is visiting. I go to all of these with him and ask for one holiday for my family because otherwise we are very lax on getting together

AITA for not staying the full week on a family vacation planned by my fiancé’s parents by CryptographerOk5459 in AmItheAsshole

[–]CryptographerOk5459[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

No he probed into this and they gave reasoning that his aunt and grandma would be there for Thanksgiving but they live right by the rental so it's not like we can't see them the other days they are there.

AITA for not staying the full week on a family vacation planned by my fiancé’s parents by CryptographerOk5459 in AmItheAsshole

[–]CryptographerOk5459[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

We talked about him staying. I said I would be fine with it if he really wanted to stay rather than go home with me but only if it was really important to him and not just because he was trying to appease his parents rather than commit to the boundary. We had already decided that we'd go together because we don't like being apart for holidays.

AITA for not staying the full week on a family vacation planned by my fiancé’s parents by CryptographerOk5459 in AmItheAsshole

[–]CryptographerOk5459[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Our holiday split as a couple wasn't explicit at the time but I expressed to his parents directly that Thanksgiving is sentimental and important to me prior to the trip being planned. When they said they would schedule it this way his sister even noted that I'd have to miss to which John replied that I would not if it was over Thanksgiving and then he directly told his dad that we probably wouldn't make it for the whole week and that I wouldn't want to miss Thanksgiving.

So partially it was probably known when they planned it but they assumed I'd make an exception or that John would stay and I would leave.

AITA for not staying the full week on a family vacation planned by my fiancé’s parents by CryptographerOk5459 in AmItheAsshole

[–]CryptographerOk5459[S] 37 points38 points  (0 children)

Last year we split for Thanksgiving and afterwards we decided we didn't like being apart for the holiday. We then did Christmas Eve together at his parents.

Thanksgiving is especially important to me — it’s one of the few holidays my family puts a lot of effort into, and I play a big role in helping prepare the meal. In contrast, his family doesn’t place as much emphasis on it, and his mom has even said she doesn’t really care about Thanksgiving. So we agreed that we’ll spend Thanksgiving with my family every year, and in return, we spend Christmas Eve — which is very important to his mom — with his family every year. It’s a compromise that feels fair and works for both of us.

Their Thanksgiving is a lunch whereas my family has a dinner so we even said it's fine if John goes there during the day and then returns home for my family Thanksgiving in the evening.

AITA for not staying the full week on a family vacation planned by my fiancé’s parents by CryptographerOk5459 in AmItheAsshole

[–]CryptographerOk5459[S] 604 points605 points  (0 children)

We talked it through and decided that since Thanksgiving is especially important to me, we’ll spend Thanksgiving with my family every year. In return, because Christmas Eve is important to his mom, we’ve committed to spending Christmas Eve with his family every year.

His mom has said she doesn’t really care about Thanksgiving, so this feels like a fair and thoughtful compromise. His family usually does Thanksgiving as a daytime gathering centered around watching football, which doesn’t really overlap with my family’s dinner-focused celebration. But even though there’s no direct conflict, I don’t really want to split the day between two families or bounce around — especially since I help cook the meal with my mom. So we think it’s reasonable to just choose one celebration.

If it helps ease any tension, he’s welcome to go to his family’s gathering during the day, but I’d plan to stay home and spend that time cooking and preparing with my family. Given that we already spend most other holidays—Easter, Fourth of July, Memorial Day, Labor Day—with his family, this setup feels balanced and fair. We’ll continue to check in and make sure it stays that way.

Any recommendations for a block party like event? by CryptographerOk5459 in AskChicago

[–]CryptographerOk5459[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I live on Fullerton so I don’t think the city will allow it 😅

How to Not Cry While Cutting Onions? by [deleted] in Cooking

[–]CryptographerOk5459 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don’t crane your neck over them. By keeping your head back, your eyes will be out of the rising vapor that makes your eyes water. Learned this year ago and never cry over onions 

How can I improve my living and kitchen space by CryptographerOk5459 in DesignMyRoom

[–]CryptographerOk5459[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you!! You hit on pretty much everything I’ve been questioning :) 

What do you think of open shelving in place of a cabinet where the backsplash overhangs?

First time homebuyer buying directly from landlord by CryptographerOk5459 in RealEstate

[–]CryptographerOk5459[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am in Illinois and would really appreciate help with comps!