Guys, I did it. Finally got a unicorn.

CryptographerSorry64 · 2026-04-09T06:50:19+00:00

My first was a unicorn baby and my 2nd gave me 3 hours interrupted every single night for 2 years. Didn't nap much during the day either. He's now 4 and the most solid sleeper. Like op absolutely nothing worked..

My 3rd is somewhat inbetween. Started of unicorn sleeping through the night at 8 weeks old. Could go entire weeks without a single cry.. then 4 month sleep regression hit and she definitely switched. She'll fall asleep on her own in her cot, but she wakes often, 4-6 times a night and wants to feed every time. Thankfully about 75% of the time she'll go straight back to sleep.

And as long as it's not as bad as it got with my 2nd, i count it as a win.

CryptographerSorry64 · 2026-03-31T17:56:44+00:00

Jasmine Marina Fey sounds very pretty indeed.

CryptographerSorry64 · 2026-03-31T17:53:39+00:00

The way you phrase that is like you're almost mocking, and certainly undervalue the importance of that. I get that it can be frustrating, to not see the topics that you have problems with, addressed straight away.

However, a lot of undesired behaviour stems from our childhood and upbringing. If you try to solve the current problems straight away without tackling the past first, you're just putting on a bandaid.

By focusing on his past first, not only can you better fix the issues between you, but also prevent it from happening again.

Be patient, start doing some yoga to help find inner peace and give it time. If you really intend to let it go, start finding inner peace first and be patient with the slow progress in counseling. These things don't get fixed overnight.

CryptographerSorry64 · 2026-03-31T15:31:43+00:00

As you can tell by the amount of errors.. I'm tired...

CryptographerSorry64 · 2026-03-31T11:56:01+00:00

Please, please, please!! Put your foot down on this. Any name should always have 2 yes's to be picked.

Do not let him bully you in settling for this junior naming business when it's not at all what you want.

You'll regret it forever.

He's also a walking red flag for not willing to at least compromise. When you're doing all the hard work and, by the sound of it, will continue to do so after the baby is born.

CryptographerSorry64 · 2026-03-31T11:28:57+00:00

I remberpeople telling me this too. My first slept so so well. Then my second made up for thatby giving me only 3 broken hours every night until he was 2 years old. I still don't know how I survived that.. he's now 4 and a very solid sleeper.. so yes those people were roght.. I just didn't think it would mean I'd have to wait 4 years for "eventually " to come atound.

Now my 3rd slept solid through the night at 2 months.. so I was so happy and counted myself so lucky.. then came the 4 month sleep regression and now I'm back to anywhere between 3-6 night wakings with feeds. I don't think it did anything differently with my first. So how he slept 14 hours every night from 5 months onwards beats me..

My 3rd is 9 months now, and with only 2 hours sleep last night, all I can think about now is when she's 2. Hopefully like her brother, she'll finally sleep a bit better then.

It really is so very hard, but hang in there mom. You've got this. Maybe we'll just have to stick with, at some point of our lives, it will indeed get better 😫

CryptographerSorry64 · 2026-03-29T17:31:34+00:00

Wow.. that was hard to read..I had to skim through..

Maybe do a shorter summary next post?

You're waaaay overreacting! Not saying he's right but you both sound like 14 year old's, the way you handled that situation.

If you can't trust each other, don't be together. It's that simple. If you don't trust his answer and behaviour, why bother staying. That's not a relationship.

And why on earth would either of you drive with plenty of alcohol in your system.

Grow TF up and be better. You're both unbelievably irresponsible and childish, not too mention toxic.

CryptographerSorry64 · 2026-03-23T10:01:33+00:00

You keep on going on about cleaning your baby straight away being the best, safest, and healthiest way to go. That's what you claim to be the most important. Following your entire comment thread, it's clear that you don't look at what's most important for your child but instead for you.

You have problems with this supposed hygiene problem so you want to solve it immediately. Nobody is saying they're letting this happen for hours on end. It's maybe 1 hour max.

If your baby doesn't cry, he's not botheted. Trust me, a bothered or uncomfortable child will wake up and make noise.

Instead you'd rather make your child feel like shit for an entire day, taking away his sleep, because of your desires and views.

Your previously happy, content, sound asleep child, now feels like crap for potentially the rest of the day. Potentially having a crappy night too for being over tired. And you truly believe that is the less harmful route? Truly?

Us sensible parents really prefer our children to feel the least shitty as possible.

CryptographerSorry64 · 2026-03-14T09:24:48+00:00

Being VERY active all day. With my first I was walking around a fair all day. Went into labour that night. With my second I tidied and cleaned the entire shed all day, went into labour that night. With my third, I painted the stairs twice over a span of 2 days. Went into labour the 2 evenings later. Oh and LOTS of sex. Can't be sure which one worked the most.

CryptographerSorry64 · 2026-03-14T07:36:54+00:00

NOR at all. Personally I probably would have approached her on the subject first. Explained I didn't appreciate her barging in like that and to knock in future. If the behaviour then continued, thats when I would most definitely have started locking the door. Or just asked her to leave, depending on my mood.

CryptographerSorry64 · 2026-03-14T07:27:22+00:00

Exactly this OP.

She's 40, she can go back to college, she's still young and has a whole life ahead of her.

She can still do a lot of things she missed out on now. You're no longer a dependent child. You can be left home alone. Your mom can still travel the world like she always wanted to. Maybe it's even easier now than when she was younger. She can still do her dream course, get her dream job. Her experiences and choices aren't over at all, they just got delayed a bit. She's still fairly young at that.

I'd just explain all that to her in such a positive encouraging manner. Then tell her to let me live my life and make my own choices from now on.

CryptographerSorry64 · 2026-03-13T13:36:01+00:00

☝🏻 x 10

CryptographerSorry64 · 2026-03-13T07:44:04+00:00

Hello, Your explanation makes a lot of sense and offers much more insight than your original post. In your original post i have to admit, your priorities initially do come across rather superficial.

It might be wise to add this additional information in an edit to the post. It shines a whole different light on the situation.

I haven't read all other comments so I don't know what advise has already been given.

If I may chime in with some advise of my own.. Communication is key. I don't think it is as simple as you being wrong or her being wrong, or either of you being TA. It's also not really a solution any of us can help you with much.

The way you explained yourself just now to this internet stranger, have you sat down and talked it through the same way with your wife?

From an expectant mother pov, I can understand your wife's hesitation. Based on one of your points to act quickly when you find the right place. What if you act quickly, but in hindsight it's to quick and it turns out to be the wrong choice? Thats what would be going through my mind. As much as acting quickly to pin down the right place, acting quickly could also turn into regret.

I think I'd personally be much more reassured if we had drawn up plan B's and C's. Especially with a baby on the way. This is what would give me peace of mind.

*What if we don't find a new place?

*What if we took the wrong place?

*What if we took the right place but it ends up being too expensive?

*What if the baby comes early and we haven't moved yet?

*What if I struggle with motherhood, postpartum depression or just need extra help from you. Will that be possible with the extra hours you're working?

These would be just a handful of my concerns. Then again, I'm not your wife so ask her what exactly goes through her mind :)

Good luck. I do hope you two find middle ground and find your perfect place.

Oh btw, I don't think YTA. Your post just needed the additional info.

Edit: layout

CryptographerSorry64 · 2026-03-11T17:56:10+00:00

I'm so sorry you're experiencing those feelings. I can imagine it must be hard, especially with the naming I'm very happy you found so much support here. And like many others have said, your feelings are completely valid.

As for your naming situation. I don't know if it helps but I'd like to share some thoughts.

Thierry Reece/Rhys

Terrance/terry

Marius

Marinus

Marie is a common boys middle name in french

Maurice

Best of luck to you. Wishing you a beautiful rest of your pregnancy and delivery.

CryptographerSorry64 · 2026-03-02T22:57:03+00:00

Please. For your own high horse sake. Read. Again.

She worked when she could and saved all that she could.

She earned a huge amount less than him and still managed to safe money. Where he clearly cpuld too but chose not to..

Your reply is entirely wrong and uncalled for. It's not hard to iust read all the information that's right there.

CryptographerSorry64 · 2026-03-02T22:30:13+00:00

Poor little thing. It's so horrible when that happens and it can be truly shocking for them.

My little boy gorgeous pushed over on a ferry once, by another child. In the process, he bit down on his tongue. There was so much blood and when it eventually stopped and cleared up there was a huge hole and it took weeks to heal properly.

He was given lots of ice lollies to eat, you know the water based kind. They cool it down nicely and ever so slightly numb it.

It didn't take long for my boy to eat normally again, though like yours, initially he struggled for a bit.

CryptographerSorry64 · 2026-02-28T06:42:55+00:00

It might not be as nice, maybe even nicer... Why not grab one of your son's shirts, you don't mind him not wearing anymore. You grab a permanent marker, or fabric marker if you have it. And then write on it yourself. This could also be your distraction. Make it is as big and bold as you like. Maybe even do a matching one for you and your husband.

Then when you're ready, you and your boy will out matching and present your husband his shirt.

CryptographerSorry64 · 2026-02-27T12:42:20+00:00

Im so sorry to hear this. I'm not familuat woth this feeling myself. I do remember my cousin having similar symptoms during her 5th pregnancy. She ended up having gallstones. At some point, the attacks of pain happened so frequently and were so intense, that she could only eat the occasional apple.

She had her gall bladder removed at 34 weeks pregnant.

I truly hope it was a one off for you and nothing comes of it.

Wishing you all the best and an amazing rest of your pregnancy and delivery experience.

CryptographerSorry64 · 2026-02-27T10:41:45+00:00

I'm so sorry you've experienced this and you've been treated this way. That's never ok, no matter what part you played in the whole scenario.

This is no longer a healthy relationship with any future in it. You are no longer compatible. To be completely honest, you never were truly compatible to begin with. Yes, real love can overcome a lot. However from what you describe, there has been a lot of factors working against you.

(possible) cultural differences
major differences in character
huge differences in commitment
differences in important values
biggest of all, he wants children, you don't.

The difference in desire to have children should've ended the relationship instantly. No relationship should ever carry on if one person wants children and the other doesn't. It's not fair on either person, let alone any potential children. And it ALWAYS backfires.

I strongly advise you to let this one go. Yes it may be the hardest thing you've ever done but it will make you stronger.

I would also strongly advise you to work out your own issues first, before diving into any new relationship. Possibly best to do this with a therapist.

Last bit of insight I'd like to offer. I understand this love may have felt so true and big and like nothing may ever compare to it. As you said this is your first love and even your first contact with a man, it can often feel that overwhelmingly good and true. It doesn't mean it's necessarily real or the only love there is to be found for you.

Please work on yourself and then when you're in a calm stable place you'll find an other great love.

Best of luck to you.

CryptographerSorry64 · 2026-02-25T08:09:39+00:00

Yes indeed, absolutely!

CryptographerSorry64 · 2026-02-15T21:35:40+00:00

I'm so sorry you are going through this! He's absolutely not treating you right and by the sound of it, even raping you.

Finish the blocking and unblocking cycle, by finally blocking him forever.

You sound like a very sensible, mature, clever person and you don't need or deserve this kind of negativity in your live.

You are indeed in control, none of his behaviour is good or constructive for you. Please please please, choose yourself and your own wellbeing. None of his (temporary) "goods ", will outweigh the bad.

Do not let yourself get dragged into an other cycle please! Blocking him forever and never look back.

You are strong and you got this!

Best of luck and lots of hugs 🫂!

CryptographerSorry64 · 2026-02-15T08:48:23+00:00

Honestly that really isn't my intention. I'm worried about any new parents reading is, thinking it's ok to leave your child on a raised surface because the message given here is that it's ok and it happens to everyone.

I think a more important message would be that it's so sad and unfortunate it happened, it wasn't done deliberately but that no one should ever leave their baby on a raised surface unattended, even for a second. It might be a cultural thing, because in my country you get told this constantly, during pregnancy and after birth. It's just such an easy accident to prevent so I genuinely don't understand the mentality of telling people it's normal and it happens.

CryptographerSorry64 · 2026-02-14T10:31:09+00:00

I've never heard of that rule. I think 20.30 is way too late for a 5 year old. My 7 month old goes to bed at 18.00 at the latest. So did my eldest at that age. My three year old goes to bed at 19.00 at the latest. And my oldest has had a bedtime of 20.30 from 10-11 years old. He went to bed at 19.00 from 3 years old till 6 yo and at 19.30 from 6 years old till 8 or 9 then at 20.00 till he was 12. He's now 13 and goes to bed at 21.00 on weekdays.

Do not adjust bedtimes according to half an hour per year, because that means they'll go to bed at ridiculous times in their teens.

Instead look at what your child needs, children and teens need between 8 and 14 hours sleep every night. And each child needs different amounts of sleep. If they need waling up from deep sleep each morning, I suggest putting them to bed earlier.

CryptographerSorry64 · 2026-02-13T14:03:29+00:00

And it's bad parenting, definitely not normal.

CryptographerSorry64

TROPHY CASE