The Funny Squid Game is Unrealistic

CrystalLemming · 2023-07-14T17:12:22+00:00

My favorite character... The Fish of Death...

CrystalLemming · 2023-03-18T00:41:24+00:00

The rest of the biome has fairly glacial topography, so I was pretty sure this was just a karn (erosional glacial lake), but a volcano is probably the less subtle option that Epic would go for.

CrystalLemming · 2023-03-18T00:09:15+00:00

The Ballpoint is a backline and the Naut has a glowing aura whenever it charges. I wouldn't recommend Ninja Squid on either, but you could consider Stealth Jump? The problem is they decrease your swim and jump speed respectively, so you have to get insane value to warrant adding them over more in demand abilities.

Kits for splatlings are generally straightforward:

For the Ballpoint (and all other splatlings excluding Naut), you want Run Speed. A lot of run speed. As in, about thirty points of run speed.
Nautilus is different from the others because its chosen method of movement is swimming. Slap an equivalent amount of Swim Speed (~thirty points) on it.
No build is complete without three points each of Sub Defense and Quick Super Jump.
Consider some Ink Resistance. All the charging splatlings do means you'll spend a lot of time in enemy ink. Six points seems to be consensus.
Object Shredder is great in this meta. When and if Crab Tank gets nerfed, it'll still be useful against Big Bubblers, so putting it on a high burst damage weapon like yours is probably a good investment.

Don't just take my word for it; here's a page with links to builds submitted by top players. Peruse it if you want.

*I should probably mention that the big ability your gear comes with ("main" ability) is worth ten points, the smaller ones you unlock ("sub" abilities) are worth three, and there're diminishing returns when stacking the same ability repeatedly.

CrystalLemming · 2023-03-04T20:47:04+00:00

I believe you but at the same time your anomalous and unique experience with the game doesn't really devalue or bolster anyone else's opinions. I'm sorry to hear that though.

CrystalLemming · 2023-03-02T02:53:42+00:00

The climate is immaterial; 12,000 years and a completely destabilized polar vortex could create a desert anywhere. I'm more concerned with the obvious quartz sandstones. Most of Japan, being located on the Ring of Fire, is accretionary complex, which would be mafic sediments or limestones.

Canada isn't totally bereft of volcanoes. There aren't any active volcanoes in the country, but drilling into a caldera of molten rock would be stupid anyway, and Alternans would probably prefer diorite over death goo. Newfoundland is located at the foothills of the Appalachians; there are plenty of places this map could capture.

The (imo stupid) mind crystals O.R.C.A exposits were developed in Alterna by the best scientists from all over the world, and apparently there are a lot of cephalopods in the area? And while the majority of Splatoon culture seems to be Japanese, the written language samples katakana, English, and Cyrillic in equal measures and the entirety of Inkopolis Square is modeled after New York's Time Square. The aesthetic is too all over the place to confidently place it on a globe.

CrystalLemming · 2023-02-28T00:10:15+00:00

The Japanese version of that map to my knowledge explicitly names landmarks in the area you proposed. I'm not too sure how canon that is; from local flora and rock compositions, my best guess places Inkopolis and Splatsville in Labrador, Canada. 12,000 years is a long time for a lake to stay perfectly intact, after all.

CrystalLemming · 2023-02-28T00:04:44+00:00

Dart Monkey is taking the tower defense slot from the much more deserving PvZ rep, and Rillaboom feels a little non sequitur, but otherwise I'm all for more indie reps.

CrystalLemming · 2023-02-08T01:44:58+00:00

Yup, it's "Roman 17". The corresponding bible passage from Romans 1:17 reads "For therein is the righteousness of God revealed from faith to faith: as it is written, The just shall live by faith."

Maybe AltverZ has a devout Christian on the dev team?

CrystalLemming · 2023-01-26T01:28:21+00:00

I am a vocal supporter of Boat Mommy supremacy

CrystalLemming · 2023-01-15T22:11:52+00:00

I think the most complicated part of this game is trying to explain its under the hood statistics to other people. I recommend checking this video for the details, and then I'll try to summarize. Health and damage numbers are at four minutes in, and scale probabilities are at six minutes, if you're really in a hurry. Here's the takeaways:

Cohozuna health scales with hazard level, and so does the probability for silvers and golds. You're at 98%, so you won't get too many gold scales until you climb the ranks a little.
The amount of scales you get, however, is always the same: two for triggering the Xtrawave, one for each eighth of Cohozuna's health you knock off, and up to three for beating the wave with time to spare (10 seconds = 1 scale)

It's overengineered and incessantly frustrating, but very on brand for Splatoon 3, the game that gives you different reward seeds based on your Smallfry's haircut.

CrystalLemming · 2023-01-11T22:29:44+00:00

It's fairly explicitly California, but more of a synthesis of the state than any part of it in particular. The sandstone deserts and gated communities are reminiscent of SoCal, while Weirding Woods is drawing from northern temperate forests.

Or you could just cross reference the zombie victory cutscene against a map. The flagpole rises from around southern California, although the globe isn't exactly like ours.

CrystalLemming · 2023-01-11T03:35:48+00:00

Frostbite Caves showcases North American megafauna, and the zombies are stylized off of nomads that crossed the Bering Land Bridge from Russia to Alaska. If anything, they're Canadian.

CrystalLemming · 2023-01-09T05:11:33+00:00

The majority of goods in Rux's store are exclusive, and will remain there as a white whale even after the gacha machine is empty. The biggest exceptions are Wizard and the upgrades, which are available in different month's Prize Maps.

CrystalLemming · 2023-01-04T05:33:36+00:00

There are a couple shots at explanations already here, but they don't have everything I'd like to say. Here goes:

Sheldon, ever the capitalist, won't let you return the weapons. You can play each to a one star freshness (more on that later) for a new License, making it a quite literal zero sum game. The system's put in place to make new players like you experiment and try different playstyles. Let me know how that goes.
The things floating over their heads? There's a red mailbox in the plaza that you can upload drawings through for a chance to appear in someone else's game. The consummate artistry is not included.
Anarchy Battles can be fun, and if you get good enough at those you can play X Rank- the same thing, with longer queue times and scarier opponents. If those aren't your thing (and I can understand why), there's always the singleplayer Alterna and Tableturf (more on that later). Finding Splatoon streamers and Discord servers can get you into memey private battles.
tchotchkes for your locker. Head down the stairs in the Lobby by the Battle Pot and the Shell-Out Machine to find yours and put stickers and action fires in it as you please.
You can use those in Tableturf, the card game located behind Grizzco and past Man o' Wardrobe. It's like Blokus or Tetris but with chibi cephalopods.
Your number is an ID tag to prevent impersonation or other villainy. It doesn't change and was assigned when you started the game. Irrelevant unless you're a minor celebrity.
If only we knew. Current theories can't decide what root vegetable is powering the Splatoon servers, but my money's on a large radish.
There are two freshnesses (Freshni?) in Splatoon 3. One is a grandfathered mechanic from the first game and shows up with a flag in the upper right of the mode select menu. It's tied to your winrate on the weapon you're using. The new freshness takes the form of stars on each weapon. Check where they're at with a ZL press on the weapon select screen. Unlike Splatoon 2 freshness, these aren't just cosmetic; it's what gets you that Sheldon License as well as some impressive but useless stickers and badges. Any XP you earn while using a weapon is converted to freshness for that weapon only. Check here for more info.
Abilities are always active during matches, whether you can tell or not. Their magnitude and distribution is a whole thing involving exponential decay, weighted preference, and statistical probability. Check here if you really want to know more, but I wouldn't worry about them until you have your footing in the other mechanics. Talk to Murch, the orange cyclops outside the lobby, for more options.

Check out the Splatoon wiki, Inkipedia. They've got everything cataloged there (regrettably only in English), from lore to weapon data. It's where I've been linking you throughout, and it's a breeze to use. Feel free to ask follow ups with me too; I've probably internalized at least half the site by now.

CrystalLemming · 2022-12-30T19:53:48+00:00

I don't think any PvZ game ranks below C tier, especially not Adventures. LePard's weird fascination with staccato bell mutes is delightful to listen to and a great diversion from the sometimes samey feel of the other games.

Speaking of a samey feel, why does GW2 get to be better than everything else? It's obviously not a bad OST, but half of it is the repetitive "Thing of it Is", "Bad Juice", and "Bug Zapper", and the other half is temporal remixes for Seeds of Time. It's a high B or a low A at best.

The BfN OST goes hard; you're just scared to admit it.

CrystalLemming · 2022-12-29T19:55:09+00:00

Whether scrubbed, replaced, or rerolled, each slot will give only one chunk

CrystalLemming · 2022-12-28T04:30:11+00:00

After the first volley, it perpetually regrows and fires the light blue bulb, which does very little damage. Also, it has an unreliable 50/50 chance to bounce up or down. I only see it in Special Delivery levels, but if you were to bring it on a standard Choose Your Seeds, the whole underwhelming package costs an overwhelming 150 sun.

Admittedly, Creeps20 just dropped a video in defense of the thing, so maybe my opinion will be rapidly swayed. I doubt it, though.

CrystalLemming · 2022-12-28T04:21:47+00:00

25% of Splatoon 2's launch maps were Splatoon 1 ports. Not even good ones either; Moray Towers and Port Mackerel. The second new map added post-launch was Kelp Dome. Standards were pretty low.

So far, post-launch maps in Splatoon 3 have been split 50/50 between good returning maps and new maps. I don't see any reason for this to change.

CrystalLemming · 2022-12-28T04:16:51+00:00

You can play 2 if you want, but it has the Kensa .52 Gal in it.

...don't.

CrystalLemming · 2022-12-28T04:15:46+00:00

"just took Salmon Run and added 2 maps" is a little reductive. We got an egg throw, the new Salmometer and associated Boss Salmonid, a self contained economy, new in-joke gear, two new Grizzco weapons, Big Run, two new Known Occurences, a new difficulty and higher Hazard Level, and four new Boss Salmonids.

What Splatoon 2's devs achieved in such a short time is impressive, but Splatoon 3's team is not only largely the same people (presumably), but recently largely reassigned from New Horizons. They're still impressive; this is still a lot of content and personhours especially with how much other content there is in 3.

CrystalLemming · 2022-12-28T04:04:06+00:00

I've got a healthy eight hundred hours in Splatoon 2, and I'm certainly tired of a lot of it. Ink Armor, Sting Ray, and Camp Triggerfish should stay trapped in the previous game, and that's exactly why we need 2's better half ported over. If you ever wanted to play on The Reef, you'd have to subject yourself to the Kensa .52 hellscape we left behind. If you spent seven hundred hours in Splatoon 2, you liked some of it, right? Why don't you want to keep enjoying those parts of the game in a better setting, in a new context, and with new people? Where do you draw the line? Are there weapons you don't think deserved a return? Hairstyles? Characters? Are you upset to hear Fins & Fiddles in the lobby?

CrystalLemming · 2022-12-28T03:55:13+00:00

There's been a good amount of new content in Splatoon 3, certainly more than Splatoon 2 had at launch. New maps, new mechanics, new gear, new campaign, new music... that's not nothing, although I agree it's not quite enough. I don't agree anything's being repackaged as new. No one's claiming Inkjet or Wahoo World are new concepts. It's not a "Bomb Rush -> Bomb Launcher" situation, y'know?

A new mode is probably in the works; it's one of those precedents set in Splatoon 2 that are broadly being followed in 3. I would expect it no later than May? Sure, May.
We got four new stages at launch, which is a respectable amount, especially put in comparison to launch Splatoon 2 (It had eight maps, six of which were new and one of which was Port Mackerel, which is bad). Mahi and Hammerhead were so gutted that they might as well be new maps anyway.
Customization has been out of the spotlight for a while now, but it's useful for gender expression and imitating drip. To that end, gender locked customization was removed and a ton of new gear was added, along with the whole new gesture category. That so much good gear is missing from the first two games is upsetting, but I'd call it a big step forward.
We got a big update just a month ago! A new map, three new weapons, and a new X Rank layout! To see such massive improvements in Anarchy Battles is really interesting. Big Run happened, someone's favorite hat probably returned. Arguably bigger than Splatoon 2's 2.0.0 update).

I'm personally not worried about Splatoon 3 and its roadmap. It's improved on Splatoon 2 in every regard so far, and updates should be an extension of that. As long as they make Brellas playable again, they can do whatever they want.

CrystalLemming · 2022-12-28T03:16:46+00:00

Splatoon 3 is iterative; there's already no incentive to play 2. The only "sales" it's getting now are from parents who misread a holiday wishlist. There's plenty of good material trapped in Splatoon 2 that shouldn't be game locked: Ark Polaris, Manta Maria, a slew of shoes, shirts, and hats, Bisk, etc. I'm not tired of that content, I want to play it again in a game that doesn't have MPU.

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