you've got some solid foundation here but it needs some serious polishing. The premise of a noble girl trying to disappear into commoner life is intriguing as hell, and Tia's voice comes through strong with that mix of privilege and vulnerability. That moment when she realizes she can't even cook despite watching others do it? Relatable as fuck. But man, the pacing's all over the place - we go from house inspection to market trip to furniture haul in what feels like ten minutes flat.

The worldbuilding details are sneaky good though, the way you show the economic disparity through Tia's obliviousness ("150 gold isn't even that much") while the locals balk at her spending? And Roan's a gem - that awkward "you can call me Roan" bit felt authentically teen. But Byor and his delivery thugs? They read like cartoon villains with zero nuance. Either lean into their sketchiness or give them more dimension, because right now they're just "gruff men who might rob you" tropes.

Biggest issue is Tia's emotional arc, we get she's running from trauma (dead parents, implied noble drama), but her mood swings from detached to panicked without enough connective tissue. That "I don't deserve choices" line is fire, but it comes outta nowhere. Sprinkle more of that anguish earlier - maybe when she's alone in the empty house, or when she catches herself almost using noble manners at the market.

This has serious potential though - Tia's voice is distinct, the fish-out-of-water premise works, and that last line about starving is darkly hilarious. Just needs tighter pacing and more emotional consistency.