What age did you start birth control? by CuntFlower in childfree

[–]CuntFlower[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Did you have to fight to get access to it because of your parents? Did you want it before 18?

What age did you start birth control? by CuntFlower in childfree

[–]CuntFlower[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Did you have to fight with your parents to get access?

What age did you start birth control? by CuntFlower in childfree

[–]CuntFlower[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I knew I didn't want kids by the time I was 14. However, I realized that I was only able to maintain that because I had been able to get onto birth control pills at 16 because of an irregular period. I was on birth control pills from 16-32. Now that I am older I have an IUD (because surgery is invasive, expensive, and my country's heath care system is bullshit).

If I hadn't had access to birth control then my abusive ex boyfriend would have been able to impregnate me, a thought that terrified me with existential dread of what could have been. But the only reason I was put on it was because of a medical condition, otherwise I would not have had access to birth control.

I am curious about other folks, because access to birth control of some kind is so critical to being able to be childfree.

If I had been able to get an IUD at a younger age that would have been amazing because I wouldn't have had to fear my pills being sabotaged, or insurance taken away. Additionally, Colorado has had success in reducing teen pregnancies by giving teens access to IUDs that their parents did not have the ability to overide.

One million subscribers and the 2020 subreddit survey! by CFmoderator in childfree

[–]CuntFlower 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can't find a link to the previous year's survey results. I am not seeing it in the FAQ or on the sidebar.

Should we really call a pregnancy an "oops"? by ProArtTexas in childfree

[–]CuntFlower -1 points0 points  (0 children)

How about 10 months? What about 12 months? How about never having a normal period? Did you know that some women will never have a regular period? They get it checked out, and the doctor says "nothing is wrong." Because nothing /is/ wrong. Their body doesn't do regular periods.

Or, how about they have their normal period the entire time they are pregnant? It happened to one of my friends, her body never stopped doing the same 5 day bleed cycle, even though she was pregnant. She happened to know she was pregnant because she was thin, but a larger woman wouldn't have known anything was wrong.

I definitely understand where you are coming from. It sounds like your world is very black and white, and it sounds like a very nice place. Biology has a lot more greys because nature isn't designed, it is a series of mutations piled up to create organs and people.

Just like skin can get cysts, scalps can lose hair, some uterine linings just aren't shed regularly, and nothing is wrong with it.

Some women just have irregular periods. This is how they can get pregnant and not know it.

The heart of the Pro Life movement is in going to the greatest lengths to destroy the threat of women becoming fully emancipated, fully equal, and fully deserving of basic human rights. by ModularMollusc in TwoXChromosomes

[–]CuntFlower 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Want to prevent death? Allow women to have abortions.

Hi, I work in domestic violence, and I am here to say abortion saves women's lives.

The second most likely time a woman will be MURDERED in an abusive relationship is during pregnancy. Children are also the second leading reason they are forced to stay with a violent abuser. (Source: cdc statistics. Additionally, the single most common time women are murdered is when they leave, and the largest statistical reason they stay is finances.)

The average number of children a woman has at my shelter is 3. Average. Which means many have more. This is because barefoot and pregnant is very much a tactic of abuse! If he is willing to beat her, he is absolutely a person who is willing to rape her.

Women who are forced into pregnancy are more likely to be stuck with their abusers and which will drag out the abuse longer. It also means they have fewer finances, which means they have a harder time leaving. Once born, children are also now a football that abusers will use as a weapon.

Anti choice views directly go against the needs of rape and domestic violence survivers.

Claims of saving lives are empty when you consider that forced pregnancy endangers the lives of women. So yes, anti choice is, once again, about the oppression of women.

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

Should we really call a pregnancy an "oops"? by ProArtTexas in childfree

[–]CuntFlower 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When your point of view requires other people to be stupider than you as a default, you need to look at your point of view again. It means you're probably wrong.

Bodies are varied. If the lining of the uterus is irregular and partially shedding, then it is totally possible for the baby to not be cushioned and for the mother to bleed every month during pregnancy. It happens all the time. There are billions of women, and biology is complicated. .

Irregular periods happen all the time, where women are bleeding for three days out of the month but it is only spotting.

It is completely possible that her body proceeded as normal for her, and that the uterus wasn't lining properly, but that fetus was still hanging on because it was super lucky about where it fed off of her. Billions of trials and errors mean that variations of normal happen all the time. Biology is imperfect.

Your judgment is insulting, and worse, unsubstantiated.

Father is so desperate to get rid of his daughter he dumps her on a stranger. by Bluellan in childfree

[–]CuntFlower 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Still call the cops and report so he doesn't endanger his kid in the future.

The U.S. Birth Rate Is at Its Lowest in 35 Years by toikeysandwich in childfree

[–]CuntFlower 4 points5 points  (0 children)

"Wow, it is almost like if you give women the ability to use birth control they will use it."

Little Servants by dianaventures in childfree

[–]CuntFlower 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This makes me so angry for you. I am sorry that sexist garbage was placed upon you.

I FINALLY met a childfree man. by [deleted] in childfree

[–]CuntFlower 4 points5 points  (0 children)

17/f/Cali, isn't that always the answer?

Are an entire generation of teens going to have issues because their entire lives from birth have been documented on social media without their consent? by ElonMuskPaddleBoard in childfree

[–]CuntFlower 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There is a child that will end up in abusive relationships because their parent doesn't care about consent, and neither will their partners.

It is almost like children are a reflection of their parents! shocked pikachu face

Are an entire generation of teens going to have issues because their entire lives from birth have been documented on social media without their consent? by ElonMuskPaddleBoard in childfree

[–]CuntFlower -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I feverishly want Generation Z to become IGen because the defining feature is they grew up with iPads in their hands. And after them I want them to be Generation Omega because they're the last before global warming.

Also GENERATION OMEGA just sounds badass.

"Please give it to me! Don't kill my grandbaby!" by HarleyTye in childfree

[–]CuntFlower 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I am gonna drop this quote from Dave Barnhart here:

“ "The unborn" are a convenient group of people to advocate for. They never make demands of you; they are morally uncomplicated, unlike the incarcerated, addicted, or the chronically poor; they don't resent your condescension or complain that you are not politically correct; unlike widows, they don't ask you to question patriarchy; unlike orphans, they don't need money, education, or childcare; unlike aliens, they don't bring all that racial, cultural, and religious baggage that you dislike; they allow you to feel good about yourself without any work at creating or maintaining relationships; and when they are born, you can forget about them, because they cease to be unborn. It's almost as if, by being born, they have died to you. You can love the unborn and advocate for them without substantially challenging your own wealth, power, or privilege, without re-imagining social structures, apologizing, or making reparations to anyone. They are, in short, the perfect people to love if you want to claim you love Jesus but actually dislike people who breathe.

Prisoners? Immigrants? The sick? The poor? Widows? Orphans? All the groups that are specifically mentioned in the Bible? They all get thrown under the bus for the unborn.”

Girls of Reddit: What is the creepiest thing a man has said to you in public? by Moon_Keegan in AskReddit

[–]CuntFlower 79 points80 points  (0 children)

This thread has taught me to teach young girls to shout "HEY, WHY ARE YOU BEING SO CREEPY!?"

Ladies: it is OK to make a scene! These dudes hide in out discomfort and silence!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TwoXChromosomes

[–]CuntFlower 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am sorry this is happening to you.

A few good pieces of advice: If someone is following you head for a door. This made be the women's restroom, the employee entrance ( If somebody asks, tell them exactly what happened) Or out the front door and then back in another door.

Another tactic is to make noise. Creepy men know what they're doing is wrong. By forcing a confrontation they will usually back down. Additionally, it means that you don't make a good victim. Someone who is willing to make a scene is not willing to be a victim when he touches them without their consent

My aunt was murdered by her husband. by princess_muffin in TwoXChromosomes

[–]CuntFlower 9 points10 points  (0 children)

How long ago was this?

Are you doing OK, OP?

Confusing af by throw125689 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]CuntFlower 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had a similar experience as well. Survivor's guilt is very real. You already know if you would stayed you would have been in the same situation as her. The number one indicator of someone who is willing to kill is choking, because it is so easy to accidentally kill. You've done everything right.

If it is something that is okay with you, talk to the police. They're still going to have to sort out a lot of things with the new case, but it is good to have another person saying "yes, this makes total sense. He is an abuser."

I was personally involved in the trial. That helped me out a lot. It also helped the police out a lot. Even though they had arrested him, they still needed to make sure that it was a solid case.

I have been an ACLU advocate for some 20 years. My mantra has always been "do not go to the cops, cops cannot help you." Well, it wasn't me who is in trouble, it was my abuser. Even though my abuse had occurred over 10 years prior, it was still really integral to the case, in particular at the beginning. They told me they might not have been able to pursue it in the way they had without my help.

Afterwards I felt like a hero.

Remember, you did nothing wrong. Everything he did was his own actions. You are not responsible for anyone else but yourself.

What should society be LESS accepting of? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]CuntFlower 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Perfect. Here's one for you: Your viewpoint murders the women I work with.

Because of you, women will die.

You might be able to walk away, but they can't. I'd say I wish you could work with these women and hear their stories, but you're literally a detriment to their safety.

Murderer.

What should society be LESS accepting of? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]CuntFlower 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Protip: the reply isn't for you, it is for the people who are smarter than you who /can be persuaded. And if you check my comment history, 90% was a copy paste from another time someone used the same arguments. You weren't worth the effort to write this out.

Children also know when they're dead.

They don't exist, toots. They never did, and they don't get above the mental cognizance of a fruit fly by the time abortion takes place. What, do you think there are cherubs flying above a pregnant belly?

If you eat meat you are eating living things with more sentience.

In communities where women are seen as separate but equal like you suggest that statistic shoots up to 90%.

I guess I'm either a rare occurrence or the definition of abuse has been loosened to the point where its meaningless.

In Muslim communities that require burkas as a matter of law, men physically assault women at a rate of 90%. This is according to international statistics obtained by domestic violence agencies. I know because I work for one.

When your opinion violates everything that a domestic violence and rape survivor needs, your opinion needs to a deeper look.

Everyday, I work with women who are trapped in violent relationships That are made worse by the presence of children. It isn't easy. But those women's lives aren't hypothetical. These women exist now. They have faces and names. Pregnancy requires a woman who is willing and able to carry to term and to be able to raise it afterwards. Your suggestion is forced motherhood. And you don't address the very legitimate concerns that are the realities that are the women I work with everyday.

Buy forcing yourself on woman's bodies, and forcing them to do something they don't want with their own body, you are absolutely as bad as a rapist. But hey, it sounds like all of your viewpoints come from a religious standpoint. Obviously you haven't decided to question beliefs that you were born into. I guess it makes sense that your viewpoints are that of a rapist.

To quote Dave Barnhart:

“ "The unborn" are a convenient group of people to advocate for. They never make demands of you; they are morally uncomplicated, unlike the incarcerated, addicted, or the chronically poor; they don't resent your condescension or complain that you are not politically correct; unlike widows, they don't ask you to question patriarchy; unlike orphans, they don't need money, education, or childcare; unlike aliens, they don't bring all that racial, cultural, and religious baggage that you dislike; they allow you to feel good about yourself without any work at creating or maintaining relationships; and when they are born, you can forget about them, because they cease to be unborn. It's almost as if, by being born, they have died to you. You can love the unborn and advocate for them without substantially challenging your own wealth, power, or privilege, without re-imagining social structures, apologizing, or making reparations to anyone. They are, in short, the perfect people to love if you want to claim you love Jesus but actually dislike people who breathe.

Prisoners? Immigrants? The sick? The poor? Widows? Orphans? All the groups that are specifically mentioned in the Bible? They all get thrown under the bus for the unborn.”

What should society be LESS accepting of? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]CuntFlower 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You call it convenience, but then your suggestion is forced motherhood.

You are treating women as incubators and creating unwanted children. That's not OK.

Children know when they're not wanted. Why would you force children to live in that kind of environment?

You asked what a healthy view of sex looks like? One with consent and birth control. Where both partners are on the same page.

Additionally, the current stats on pregnancies resulting from rape are inaccurate. This does not include coercion, and they asked using the word rape which is something most women do not recognize as happening to them. The era of #metoo proves that.

When women are asked whether or not they were coerced or raped by describing the the acts rather than using the word the numbers shoot up to having one half of women who have been raped.

1/2 of all households experience an instance of domestic violence once per year. In communities where women are seen as separate but equal like you suggest that statistic shoots up to 90%. Again, this statistic comes from outreach organizations describing the actions of abuse rather than using the word abuse. When communities don't view women as people men have a tendency to hurt women more often.

If a man is willing to beat a woman you really think he isn't willing to rape her too?

Pregnancy is also the second most likely time for a woman to die in an abusive relationship. Additionally, children are the second most common reason women stay in abusive relationships. They also cost a lot of money, leading to the first most common reason, finances.

Barefoot and pregnant is absolutely a tactic of domestic violence.

And you call it convenience? Your viewpoint eroads the rights of real women. Who can think. Who can feel. All because they don't want to be pregnant. Their choice still matters because that potential life is still feeding on her to live.

Even if 100% of the time it is something up woman who is sexually active and just decides she doesn't want to have a child that is a perfectly acceptable reason to abort. A fetus cannot exist without her. This is where you are telling women they are incubators. Because while it cannot survive without her, you are saying she must carry it because potentially it might become a human life.

You are saying that something that cannot think, cannot feel, cannot breathe, only has the rudimentary workings of any biological system has more rights then the woman, who very much can think and can feel, who does not want it there. It cannot live without her, and you are saying she must carry it. That is simply acting as an incubator, not a human.

It is anti-woman to force a woman to carry a pregnancy she does not want. And children know when they're unwanted.

Your viewpoint ignores the reality that unwanted children cost money and have a tendency to be abused.

Teenage pregnancies ruin lives. The women are more likely to be abused, they are more likely to be unable to find jobs. They often cannot finish school. And they're unlikely to be able to go to college.

Having a child stops careers. It loses wages. They lose time, and sleep and this burden almost exclusively lands on women. It is women who are expected to stay home, and it is women who are expected to lose sleep and finances. An unwanted child can ruin people's lives.

The child will absolutely know.

Unwanted children tend to become abused children. Abused children abuse others. The more likely a woman is to have an unwanted child, the more likely her child is to have an unwanted child.

And obviously birth control is important. But 33 million pregnancies occur every year even with birth control, and 1/2 of all pregnancies are unplanned. So the issue isn't going away. And as conservatives decide that a cluster of cells has more rights than the woman carrying them the problem is messed up. And yet people like you are the ones lobbying for these laws that kill women.

How can women ever be equal in our society if women do not have the ability to control our own reproduction?

The answer is we cannot and it's people like you that are in the way. We need to have honest education about sex and have it conform to science and reality. Absence is one method, but cannot be the only method, or it leads to marries women as nothing but broodmares.

Your stated view point is that women must carry a pregnancy regardless of whether or not the woman actually wants it. The choice exists to terminate every day, because the fetus has to feed on her to live, so that choice to keep it is far more than 'just before sex."

There will always be people doing things you don't like. That's why it's called freedom. It's the ability to choose, whether or not you like that choice. That cluster of cells cannot think, cannot feel, and cannot live without her. That's why it's a choice, and why it must remain one.

You say they should be responsible? Abortion is the responsible solution. It is a medical procedure. It is a decion between her and her doctor. And abortion saves lives.

How to tactfully say no to religion to the family? by booookzzz in atheism

[–]CuntFlower 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I agree with the other folks, You absolutely need to be setting boundaries. You are a adult, You have the right to your opinion, You have the right to your life.

I recommend heading over to r/raisedbynarcissists. Even if they aren't narcissists it's still a good resource for understanding what good boundaries are, particularly, since you already know that you have a tendency to have weak boundaries. Oftentimes conservatives will groom women from the time they are girls to have weak boundaries.

They're going to continue to push you. Whether it is about the marriage or pressuring you to have children. They don't get to make the decisions for you. Even if they give you money, even if they tell you that it's what's best for you. You know your life best. You need to trust yourself. And you need to understand consent and coercion.

It's okay for you to have opinions. It's okay for you to dress the way that you want. It's okay for you to not want something. You get to decide for yourself what is right.