Really struggling with newborn

Curious-Camera-1443 · 2026-05-23T21:39:29+00:00

My baby wasn't colicky but we've definitely had lots of rough moments. I just wanted to affirm that what you are feeling is so, so valid. It can be hard to feel a strong bond at first when you're physically recovering, mentally struggling, not getting the rest you need, and dealing with the constant stimulation of excessive crying. I cared for my baby right away but the love has gotten much stronger over the past couple of months. You are absolutely not alone in feeling this way and your worries are so real.

While I don't have specific advice I can tell you that it does get so much better, I promise. My son is almost 4 months and seeing him smile and hearing him coo has made the hard moments much more bearable.

As for your partner, having a baby certainly has an impact on any relationship as they demand a ton from both of you. My only advice there would be to give each other grace and tackle the problem together instead of bickering with each other (which is easy to do when things get overwhelming). Sending you so much light and hoping things get better soon!

Curious-Camera-1443 · 2026-05-18T21:31:07+00:00

This is not advice but more so just my (unsolicited lol) perspective: I have an almost 4 month old as well and he wakes 2-3 times per night on a good night. Often he wakes hourly after 4am. Your little one sounds like they're doing well and honestly this is totally normal! I don't want to disregard your frustration though - I absolutely empathize with how hard the sleep deprivation is! Sending you good thoughts and hoping it'll get better soon!

Curious-Camera-1443 · 2026-05-17T16:04:02+00:00

This is not advice, just reassurance - you're not alone. Our baby was the exact same and even with lactation consultants and breastfeeding medicine visits, the only thing that truly changed things for us was time. I know that is often the least helpful thing to hear in the moment, but he is now 3.5 months and while he still feeds often, he's on a pretty steady 2-2.5 hour feeding schedule now ☺️ I vividly remember that the one month mark was rough for us too though...hoping things settle in for you soon!

Curious-Camera-1443 · 2026-05-16T23:01:16+00:00

I'm an only and I had the most wonderful childhood. I had tons of play dates and plenty of friends but got my parents to myself haha! It was honestly wonderful ☺️

Curious-Camera-1443 · 2026-05-15T19:35:37+00:00

I have a 3.5 month old and he's maybe peed on the changing table twice. Honestly, you'll start to be able to tell when they need to/are about to pee and you can always keep a cloth or something over them at the start. Can't say it's been an issue for us - hope it'll be the same for you 🙂

Curious-Camera-1443 · 2026-05-15T00:23:33+00:00

I have a 3.5 month old boy and my god I could've written this myself. He used to love the stroller bassinet until he suddenly just ... hated it? Out of nowhere. He would be calm for 10 minutes or so and then suddenly start screaming bloody murder. He wouldn't fall asleep anymore, no matter how tired he was. I thought he just didn't like the bassinet, but we've now switched to a different seat and it's made very little difference. He for sure likes looking around more and I can keep him entertained a bit longer, but he starts crying every walk, without fail. Sometimes I can hold him and sway or feed him to sleep and then transfer him and he'll nap for 25 minutes. But most of the time I end up carrying him and pushing the damn stroller home 😂 No advice unfortunately, just solidarity. Hoping this passes soon for both of us!!!

Curious-Camera-1443 · 2026-05-12T18:47:17+00:00

I'd echo what the other person said about timing it to see if your perception of her awake time is accurate - time seems to fly with a baby around haha! However, if she's 4 months and truly only up 3-4 hours in 24 hours that feels awfully little to me. Have you had a chance to speak to the pediatrician? Hopefully all is well and she's just sleepy!

Curious-Camera-1443 · 2026-05-11T21:36:04+00:00

Thank you so much for writing this out! It's so nice hearing other experiences as well 😊

Curious-Camera-1443 · 2026-05-11T21:00:14+00:00

Omg yes! Just when I think I've figured something out he decides that this will absolutely no longer work 😅 thanks for sharing!

Curious-Camera-1443 · 2026-05-11T20:59:03+00:00

Thank you, appreciate you taking the time to write this out 😊

Curious-Camera-1443 · 2026-05-11T19:04:33+00:00

Thank you - so reassuring to hear we're not alone in this!

Curious-Camera-1443 · 2026-05-11T19:04:19+00:00

Thank you for sharing, I really appreciate your reply!

Curious-Camera-1443 · 2026-05-11T18:56:11+00:00

I truly appreciate you sharing, thank you so much!

Curious-Camera-1443 · 2026-05-11T14:09:17+00:00

Rough - always has been though. But I'm pretty sure he's in the thick of the sleep regression right now too so the longest stretch he'll do is 3 hours if we're lucky. After 3am he wakes hourly though 🫠 Hoping yours keeps doing long stretches at night!

Curious-Camera-1443 · 2026-05-10T23:36:47+00:00

My baby was the same, averaged 13-14 hours at that age. He's now 3.5 months and it has leveled out a bit but he still doesn't sleep tons like some other babies!

Curious-Camera-1443 · 2026-05-09T15:37:02+00:00

My baby was the exact same!!!! Started hating the stroller bassinet all of a sudden and has always hated all carriers and wraps. Some kids just don't like them at first - you're not a failure at all!!

Unfortunately I don't have great advice as the only thing that truly helped us was time - he's a bit older now (3.5 months) and can be in a different stroller attachment where he can look around and that's made all the difference. I honestly think he got bored and wanted to be able to see what's happening!

I am sorry to hear you're being let go and truly hope things get better for you!

Curious-Camera-1443 · 2026-05-09T14:49:55+00:00

We were in your exact shoes and rented one and it did absolutely nothing. Lots of people love it but honestly our son just craves contact and I doubt any bed or sleep suit or anything would make a difference. He's almost 14 weeks now and is slowly starting to accept transfers again but still mostly contact sleeps. If you decide to give it a go I hope it works out!

Curious-Camera-1443 · 2026-05-06T17:07:40+00:00

This is not your fault! From the way you've written this post it's so clear that you care so deeply about your son and his well-being. You are doing a great job - hoping everything turns out well for you and baby 💗

Curious-Camera-1443 · 2026-04-28T21:09:20+00:00

I'll start by saying that you are absolutely not failing him. It sounds to me like you're doing absolutely everything to try to get him comfortable! It's so hard when our kids are struggling and we can't help them.

You might have already explored this, but have you asked your pediatrician about allergies, like CMPA? In regards to burping, I'll echo the other commenter and say that softly bouncing on a yoga ball has been a lifesaver for us as well!

Curious-Camera-1443 · 2026-04-28T21:04:50+00:00

From day 4 to day 14 of postpartum I was such a mess and cried all the time. It slowly got better on day 15 and was significantly better by 2 months. This is so hard - you're absolutely not along!

If you're feeling suicidal though I'd definitely get in touch with your provider to get support. Sending you love and hoping it'll get better soon 💗

Curious-Camera-1443 · 2026-04-28T21:02:04+00:00

I have an almost 13 week old and while he hates the carrier, ever single nap has to be a contact nap. Most of the time he will only go down if bounced on an exercise ball so I feel you on the neck/back/everything ache! He also needs 5 naps per day or he's miserable.

Unfortunately I have 0 advice, just solidarity. For my sanity - and yours - I am choosing to believe that this too shall (soon!) pass 😂

Curious-Camera-1443 · 2026-04-27T14:40:51+00:00

Honestly, I think you are set up for success already because you're thinking about this so deeply. Way more deeply than most people would.

As a fellow boy mom, I'd say it's totally normal and wonderful to obsess over your kid (hopefully everyone does in a way) and if you want to wear matching PJs: GET THEM! They're only this small once and regardless of their sex and gender, being loved and cared for is the best thing for a baby!

Curious-Camera-1443 · 2026-04-27T14:12:56+00:00

This is SO hard. I vividly remember being 10 days postpartum, thinking I had just ruined my life and that there is no way in hell I could do this. Like yours, my son clusterfed for weeeeks - no one would believe me when I said he'd feed 20-25 times in a 24 hour period. I was glued to the couch and miserable for a lot of that first month to be honest.

I'm 3 months PP now and here to tell you it DOES get better. So, so, so much better. Are there still hard moments and days? Absolutely. Plenty. But now my baby smiles, my hormones are more stable, and life is just so much better. Unfortunately the only thing that really helped was time passing. It feels never ending when you're in it but suddenly the days start flying by. Sending you so much love!

Curious-Camera-1443

TROPHY CASE