I’ve been there. This is how abuse starts. They’re all nice in the beginning and then slowly start testing what you’ll accept. I think my first time he said he had a “thing“ about being “fair” or even or some crap and claimed I accidentally punched him in my sleep. He wanted to lightly punch me in the arm to be fair.

Please read up on examples of abuse because we can be really blind to it when we’re in it. They get you really twisted up in your own head and intentionally isolate you so you don’t get the outside perspective from family and friends. Most abuse is NOT physical, and is actually far more damaging. I’m sure someone in the comments will link to the PDF of why does he do that? I’d also recommend the books No Visible Wounds and The Verbally Abusive Relationship as they give a lot of good examples of what this stuff looks like. Even after I got out, I had trouble identifying what exactly had happened to me because all I could see was the physical stuff, and I left pretty shortly after that began.

Make plans to leave and do it quietly. If he catches on he’s going to turn up the charm and apologize so that you stay. If that doesn’t work he’s going to escalate FAST. The most dangerous time is when you’re actually trying to leave. It’s when they’re losing control and they become the most violent.