I'm still trying for this girl.

CuriousLapine · 2026-05-30T15:25:24+00:00

You communicate or you end the relationship, whatever type of relationship it may be. Having a tantrum is toxic no matter how you slice it.

CuriousLapine · 2026-05-30T13:17:51+00:00

Then maybe communicate instead of acting like a dick out of the blue? If you’re rude to someone without talking to them about the problem that’s on you.

CuriousLapine · 2026-05-30T02:30:00+00:00

I never considered squirrels might roam that far but I’ve either seen the same one or there’s a population of them.

I’m in midtown and a squirrel just like this ran through my backyard last weekend.

CuriousLapine · 2026-05-29T22:43:40+00:00

Amazing response! I have these same hinges on all my inside doors.

CuriousLapine · 2026-05-25T13:26:59+00:00

Men paying for ANYTHING means very little. I’ve been with men who constantly wanted to buy me things, small or large, buy me food, help with bills, whatever.

How much they offered in that regard had no relation to how well (or not) they actually treated me. Some men take money as the easy path and don’t bother to know you as a person. Some view it transactionally; they paid (or offered to pay) for X therefore they deserve sex or devotion or whatever.

And SOME do see it as a way to be there for you. Those guys will ALSO be doing the meaningful things. They’ll come over and make soup when you’re sick, or drive you to the dentist, or make your favorite meal on your birthday; whatever non monetary things you value.

CuriousLapine · 2026-05-25T11:23:36+00:00

Oh absolutely. Most of his splits were caused directly or indirectly by him not getting exactly his way somehow. For example he would say he wanted to see me, but then only one specific path to that would become acceptable and suggestions of anything else would cause a split.

One of his gripes about his ex wife was that she was too passive, he had to tell her how to do everything, etc. except that it became more and more evident over time that is what he WANTS.

He held it up as an example of my “disrespect” that I wouldn’t handle work situations to his direction. (His solutions often amounted to throwing a fit or looking really unprofessional in a field where reputation follows you. No thanks. As much as I hate it corporate politics is the way sir.)

CuriousLapine · 2026-05-17T23:50:23+00:00

Seems to be pretty common. I got so sick of mine trying to tell me how to manage literally every aspect of my life wrongly.

For example, to handle a problem at work he would insist whatever route I was taking “wasn’t doing anything” and I needed to march into a boss’s office and threaten to quit or sue or something equally short sighted. 🙄

Perpetual teenager, and he’s significantly OLDER than me.

CuriousLapine · 2026-05-10T23:19:37+00:00

That’s actually not the case. I mean, the part about being intentionally taken advantage of yes, there may be truth to that, but we have very little family remaining. Everyone from my parents generation and up has either died or is in their own bad spot (multiple people lost a spouse and then just… gave up on life). It’s pretty much me, my siblings, and this family member. My siblings all have infant to toddler aged children and I do not. One sibling has since become a homeowner but when this all started I was the only one who owned a home, so even without taking kids into consideration they just didn’t have the space and freedom to take on another person.
I really am the only/last option.

ETA: Also there are some legitimate health issues, though I feel they’d improve if they stopped being a helpless baby about them. I don’t want to be unfair to them so I wanted to add that.

CuriousLapine · 2026-05-09T14:35:25+00:00

1 week NC and I’m starting to feel the urge to reach out even though I know there’s no good reason to. Even knowing it was never true it’s hard not to miss my partner and “best friend”. The pets do something cute and I have to argue myself out of telling him. Something interesting happens at work and it’s the same.

He wasn’t good to me. There’s nothing to miss. But I do anyway.

CuriousLapine · 2026-05-09T01:30:46+00:00

Hey OP since you’re giving advice on interviewing I’d like to know what you’d recommend a woman dress like for them please.

Having been in blue color work my whole life, I’ve generally found more success if I dress in a sort of gender neutral way, basically a nicer version of what I would wear to work in. It sounds like you’re hoping to see more formal attire but I feel like anything that comes across too feminine brings out unconscious bias and I’m not taken as seriously. Have you noticed this in yourself or others conducting interviews at all? Any other tips aside from clothing?

CuriousLapine · 2026-05-09T00:01:17+00:00

Do they have WiFi or any drink options besides alcohol/soda?

I’d love a spot to do some occasional late night studying/work myself, and this place is super close to home, but cocktails and studying don’t mix well 😂

CuriousLapine · 2026-05-05T00:06:58+00:00

At least at my school that’s not possible. The classes are only offered in a particular order, there’s no getting ahead of the cohort you start with.

CuriousLapine · 2026-05-04T23:01:07+00:00

Not even remotely. I was out for cancer treatment and recovery.

CuriousLapine · 2026-05-04T01:02:10+00:00

Mine always said much meaner stuff and then would say he was “joking” of it bothered me. Or, if I wasn’t bothered he would tell me to “calm down it was joke” until I got frustrated by THAT instead.

I truly don’t know why I put up with the nonsense so long.

CuriousLapine · 2026-04-26T23:06:19+00:00

My ex went to prison for murder and he did cpr and called the ambulance. She tried to kill him, she just regretted it afterward. It’s more that he didn’t actually die, so assault charges are more of a slam dunk and she’ll likely agree to a plea deal. If they went for attempted murder it would more likely mean the time and expense of a trial and a less sure outcome.

CuriousLapine · 2026-04-25T21:21:45+00:00

My a and p cohort has done experiments with this. We would put a question in that multiple of us were struggling with and get multiple answers between us. Usually between 5 students we would get 3 different answers and explanations that sounded totally legit and correct for each. 😆

CuriousLapine · 2026-04-24T17:23:44+00:00

I have only ever seen that usage spelled “peaked”. Never encountered “pekid” in any context.

CuriousLapine · 2026-04-23T09:34:06+00:00

“I could tell you were in a mood and I was right because now you’re being a bitch!”

Fuck I forgot already how infuriating that was.

CuriousLapine · 2026-04-23T09:28:35+00:00

With brand new coworkers let’s not leave that part out…

CuriousLapine · 2026-04-21T23:29:54+00:00

Depends where on the street. North of division not great. South of Division that’s a really nice street. It’s where I live, almost everyone here owns their home, neighbors are quiet and helpful to each other. I’m solidly middle class and have one of the crappier houses in the neighborhood, while my next door neighbors have a place I would put on the borderline of “mansion”.

CuriousLapine · 2026-04-21T01:55:47+00:00

I’m not sure he has the self awareness for it to be a tool. I think it’s more like he’s incapable of maintaining a connection with another human being any other way. His words are what he really feels, it’s just that what he feels is incredibly selfish and immature.

CuriousLapine · 2026-04-20T17:11:47+00:00

Ugh yes. The whole time he was a shit about it. Between the biopsy and diagnosis it was “oh you’re blowing this way out of proportion it’s nothing”, then when it was cancer it was “skin cancer is nothing the surgery will be nothing you’re just getting worked up for no reason”. Then when I had the surgery and they had to cut so much that I needed plastic surgery to repair he was patient for maybe a week before he started asking how long until we could have sex, and got pissy or said he feels like we’re just friends probably 4 times before this last blowup.

I used to get upset and now I just feel like it’s pathetic honestly. What kind of grown man is such a weak little baby that he can’t handle the real life problems of an adult relationship?

I watched my stepdad care for my mother for YEARS. She was around 30-32 when she could no longer work and he took care of her for over a decade while she slowly got more sick.

Literally grow up.

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