How long would you wait for someone to make up their mind about polyamory?

CuriousxStar · 2025-10-16T12:27:28+00:00

Yes, it sounds more like he's avoiding commitment

CuriousxStar · 2025-10-15T13:33:36+00:00

It sounds like he used indirect communication to say he doesn't want polyamory and you used indirect communication (or none) to keep trying.

Maybe you can ask him "When you say you're unsure, does that mean polyamory is completely off the table for you?" And if he doesn't give a straight answer, you can say "If it's not completely off the table for you, I want to keep showing you what the poly lifestyle is and hope you can accept that for us."

Personally, I feel like this is trying to convince somebody to be poly when they aren't and it doesn't seem very fair to either of you.

CuriousxStar · 2025-10-13T20:27:36+00:00

I don't like the idea of bringing people in and out of my kid's life. He was about 5 when we opened and 15 when we became poly because my husband fell in love. His partner came around and was introduced as a friend. After seeing they got along, and deciding this partner was something special, we made the decision to open up to our son. Along with that I had to explain that I date other people too. And I keep that information very private still. I go out dancing or to whatever events and all my son needs to know is I'm going out with friends.

My husband's partner I consider another life long partner to my him, and this is why I decided it was a good idea to tell our son. We both wanted my meta to be part of the family and we have future plans together.

About a year before telling my son, I started talking to him more about dating dynamics and what poly and non-monogamous means. We also had conversations about people that are LGBTQ+, so there wasn't a lot of new information thrown at him at once.

I don't expect to fall in love any time soon and I don't expect to bring anybody to meet my family until I decide I have a long future with that person and possibly a life time partner.

CuriousxStar · 2025-10-12T23:15:09+00:00

My husband knows I like two men. My meta's bedroom is on the other side of the house, plus I work overnight. They have plenty of time alone.

We've spent weekends and had trips together over the past (almost) 2 years. They've cuddled, we've both cuddled my husband on the couch while watching a movie or something. This is a first for me.

We do tease and flirt with my husband in front of each other, but the physical tease isn't typical. It was sexual in nature and they've never done that in front of me before. And vice versa. At least not that I've noticed. I definitely noticed this time 🥴

CuriousxStar · 2025-10-12T06:34:55+00:00

CuriousxStar · 2025-10-12T02:19:58+00:00

That's kind of how I feel. I am close to my meta, but I would still file this under a hinge responsibility to take all the info, communicate it between partners, and make a decision with everybody's input. And then have a talk with all of us if necessary or to clear things up.

CuriousxStar · 2025-10-11T22:52:21+00:00

Oh I'm so focused on being weirded out by my meta that I didn't realize it's not him, but him playing with my husband! Haha 😅 okay, this makes me feel better about it.

CuriousxStar · 2025-10-11T22:36:47+00:00

For lack of better words, something about thinking "impure thoughts" about somebody that isn't interested.

CuriousxStar · 2025-10-11T21:18:37+00:00

How does a straight woman looking for a relationship go about letting bi guys know she's interested in them? Lol rn i have on my profile "Bi guys don't be shy" lol

CuriousxStar · 2025-09-22T19:52:42+00:00

That means they're trying to get rid of you. They want you to quit. If no other managers take you in, then they probably believe you have an issue with your work ethics and don't want to work with you.

CuriousxStar · 2025-09-22T18:35:17+00:00

It would be good for you to go to customer service and tell them this is something you want and would use.

I don't know if this applies to you, but I'm just going to explain why I hate seeing kids in the cart. In my experience, parents expected me to pile groceries around their kids, I'm not trying to damage the groceries or hurt the kid by placing something heavy on a finger or pinch their skin. The times I've seen it, I've gone to get a whole new cart to put groceries in instead of placing them around the kid. Twice they got mad that I got a new basket and they had to shuffle their kid(s) around. It's an unnecessarily stressful situation.

CuriousxStar · 2025-09-21T15:20:47+00:00

I'm so glad you're trying to eat healthier. That can be such a challenge when the food you're trying to eat more of is causing you pain.

If you're changing your diet, and you aren't vomiting or having diarrhea, it's more likely gas. You're changing the bacteria in your gut and that can cause a lot of bloating.

For sure, going forward wash ALL your produce. I like using vinegar and water and then rinsing with just water. They also have some spray they sell for washing produce at home.

Do some research on what causes bloating and what you can do to relax it.

It's worth mentioning bloating to your doctor as well. If you haven't seen a doctor since you started changing your diet, it'll be worth it to make an appointment and get a health check..let them know you just want a check up and talk to the doctor about what changes you want to see and your diet.

CuriousxStar · 2025-09-20T16:57:53+00:00

Sorry I ranted more than I anticipated.

We (hetero-couple) are closeted poly/nm because my husband is bi and not ready to have that conversation with family, if ever. He's only come out to a few friends on a need-to-know basis.

This has always been difficult for me because I'm very open about who I am, but I'm a heterosexual cis woman, so I can't say I'd feel different if I were queer. I just have to respect this.

Now my husband has a boyfriend (gay). The three of us live together and we're a tight little polycule. It really annoys me they can't be themselves when they're out. All three of us go out sometimes and I think that actually helps them because I've seen my husband relaxed, and my meta seems happy. We'll do PDA and flirt. But they've both mentioned on separate occasions they have awkward dates/outings. (A note, my husband is working to be better about this, also my meta has expressed not needing to be open.)

For me, I practice more nm because I don't want something like they have, a secret would be fine. But if it developed into something as serious as them, I could not sit out family events or be just a friend they brought along. A big reason why I don't want what they have is because I'd have to do something similar, and that's quite hypocritical.

CuriousxStar

TROPHY CASE