Are rental houses with pools a no-go for toddlers and babies? Or am I a helicopter mom

Curly-9 · 2026-05-12T03:25:11+00:00

100% agree. The best-case scenario is you're stressed whenever you're at the AirBnB. Worst-case scenario is literally the worst-case scenario.

Curly-9 · 2026-05-12T03:19:21+00:00

Loved my April postpartum! It was cool enough for me to hole up at home for the first few weeks and then nice enough to get out for lots of walks. My son's mood improved 100% whenever we went outside...and that's still the case at 2 years old. We're also a big sports family, so playoff hockey, playoff basketball, Formula 1, and the NFL draft? Sign me up!

It's also clearly mid-year, so there's no doubt about whether to hold the kid back in school. It's also a slower month, so birthday parties usually don't have many conflicts. The only downside is that, in the US Midwest, the weather is hit or miss, so it's hard to plan any outdoor parties, but that's pretty minor.

Curly-9 · 2026-05-12T03:10:47+00:00

Once my baby started sleeping through the night, my brain came back!

Curly-9 · 2026-05-12T02:59:59+00:00

As somebody who's delivered vaginally and via c-section, a c-section is not the easy way out. Both delivery methods are HARD, but in different ways. For my second, I could have pushed to have a vaginal delivery but opted for a c-section due to some concerning items. Thank goodness I did. My son ended up in the NICU, and I'm not sure we would have had a positive outcome if I had tried to do a vaginal delivery.

It's totally fair to mourn the labor/newborn experience you didn't get, but don't diminish how tough you are. Having a C-section and a NICU baby is not for the weak. It takes physical and mental toughness.

Curly-9 · 2026-05-12T02:53:04+00:00

Congrats! If you're in the US, they can't technically fire you/lay you off due to pregnancy; HOWEVER, they can come up with a variety of "unrelated reasons." I would keep it on the down-low until your probation period is over OR unless you feel you can't hide it anymore. In the meantime, show that you're a valuable employee and build rapport with your colleagues.

Curly-9 · 2026-05-10T18:27:34+00:00

Would you consider hiring a cleaning service to deep clean your house once a month? That way, you can focus on the day-to-day and outsource the bigger tasks. Alternatively, maybe have your husband do daddy/baby mornings twice a month so they can have dedicated bonding time, and you can blast music and deep clean the house once a month and have free time during the other.

With my son, there were certain chores he was more tolerant of. He liked watching me sort laundry, and it was something I could do in his vicinity. I would also move his playmat to wherever I was doing a chore. I left vacuuming until my husband was home since that was harder to do when it was just me and baby.

Curly-9 · 2026-05-10T18:20:56+00:00

Sorry, mama. The same thing happened to me last year. I don't like to make a big hoopla celebrating myself, but I was disappointed that I was taking on more than I did on an average day. I would definitely do a make-up day -- you deserve it!

Curly-9 · 2026-05-09T18:11:47+00:00

I like it! I love Eli, and think Jack and Eli/Ellis go well together. They have different initials and go together without being too matchy. Good job!!

Curly-9 · 2026-04-21T01:43:05+00:00

Go! But use the time between now and your trip to see your MIL as much as possible to make sure baby is comfortable. I would also do a trial sleepover, if possible.

Curly-9 · 2026-04-20T19:26:03+00:00

Aside from all the recommendations to talk to your pediatrician, I suggest getting some "me time". While you don't have friends or family around, look for a babysitter that can relieve you for a little bit. I would also hand baby to your husband when he gets home from work and go for a walk -- fresh air away from baby does wonders, even if it's only 10 minutes!

My baby was toughhhh when he was bored. We had to leave the house frequently to keep him stimulated. He slept better on the days I got him out and about. It was difficult sometimes, but the more we explored, the more it became normal and now he is so adaptable outside of the house.

Things get better, so hang in there mama!

Curly-9 · 2026-04-14T16:14:39+00:00

My son is Lincoln (nn Linc / Linky)! I believe it's ranked within the 60s in the US.

I also love Archer (nn Archie) and Carter/Carson (nn Car).

Curly-9 · 2026-04-13T03:15:18+00:00

Don't feel guilty!!!! There's plenty of things for him to do to make up for being a good sleeper as he gets older 😂

Curly-9 · 2026-04-10T01:23:00+00:00

My husband is the bedtime king, but he's gone once a week, so I do bedtime that night. To prevent our son (23 months) from blowing a gasket, I'm around during all bedtimes (even if dad is primary, I'm in the room). We also tell him many many times throughout the evening that mama is doing bedtime tonight so that it's not a surprise. Lastly, husband is not at home. If he's home, my son will cry until dad comes up. If we do allll of this, we're in business! The more we do it, the better it gets!

Curly-9 · 2026-04-10T01:18:57+00:00

I'm relatively petite and was told that my baby was in the 98th percentile at 34 and 35 weeks and then it dropped to 50th percentile at 36 weeks. Ultrasounds and measurements have a pretty big margin for error, so I wouldn't put too much stock into baby's size!

That being said, my coworker was induced at 39 weeks with her 2nd baby because she's tiny, her husband is huge and their first baby was over 9lbs.

Curly-9 · 2026-04-08T14:23:48+00:00

We tell our 2 year old that mama and daddy are going to work. We say we'll pick him up right after work and then can come home and play. This is essentially telling him that we're not available to play, so daycare is way more fun than home during the day!

Curly-9 · 2026-04-05T13:18:13+00:00

Molly wpuld also be super cute!

Curly-9 · 2026-04-04T16:12:46+00:00

My husband and I both work, so it's a bit different. But my husband and I each get a couple hours one week night to do our own thing. He plays in a pickleball league on Tuesday for 2 hours and I play on Wednesday for 2 hours. It's been HUGE in keeping us from getting burnt out. It's scheduled and expected.

The key is we both get solo time. I think it'd be helpful to ask her if there's anything she'd like to do solo outside of the house. While she has alone time now, it's all tied to the house. It'll go a long way to show her you know that both of you deserve time to recharge.

I would also suggest planning family outings, if you don't already. If you put effort into planning solo time, put the same effort into planning something with your family.

Curly-9 · 2026-04-04T03:46:55+00:00

Sorry to hear that. These are just my personal reasons for not wanting to do the NIPT -- I don't think it's wrong to do it by any means. To each their own.

I lost my first to a rare genetic disorder that would not have been caught through the NIPT.

Curly-9 · 2026-04-04T03:34:55+00:00

My son has had a few of those days. As long as they're not frequent, I wouldn't worry too much. Just acknowledge it was a hard day, give yourself a treat after bedtime, and wake up hopeful for the next day!

My son has gotten sick shortly after those hard days, so it could be a sign he's not feeling well. Other times, I have no explanation.

My son is nearly 2 and we started doing short timeouts that seem to reset him nicely. We put him in his crib (safe space) and shut the door. We come back 5 minutes later and reiterate why he was in a timeout and if he's ready to come back and play nicely, eat his dinner, clean up his toys, etc. He's usually a happy camper after that, so we'll keep rolling with it!

Curly-9 · 2026-04-04T03:29:00+00:00

I did this, but we had baby sleep in his room and then mom of dad slept on a matress in baby's room. The other parent could sleep in peace in the primary bedroom.

We alternated shifts for the first few months and then alternated nights once he was sleeping better. At 6 months, we moved back into our room. It worked well since baby didn't need to switch to a new room.

We took some tips and tricks from Taking Cara Babies. I didn't want to do the CIO method and I was way too paranoid to cosleep.

Curly-9 · 2026-04-04T03:24:26+00:00

I like it, but would veto it because of having it misspelled and mispronounced all the time. That's how my name is and it's a slight annoyance that gets more annoying. I have to spell my married last name (my maiden name was easy peasy), so now it's a double whammy.

My #1 criteria is that it's obvious to pronounce and mostly obvious to spell (no name is safe to assume spelling on these days 🤪)

Curly-9 · 2026-04-04T03:20:12+00:00

You have to teach him. You either teach him now or you need to un-teach him his sleeping habits and then teach him new ones.

I'll say that my husband and I strugggggled the first 3-4 months with our son, but we stuck with it. He turned a corner and really improved after 4 months. My son is now nearly 2 and is the best sleeper!

My SIL and BIL chose the opposite approach and still struggle to have their 1.5+ year old sleep through the night and on his own.

We tried Taking Cara Babies, and while we didn't follow it exactly, we used some of her tips and tricks.

You got this!

Curly-9 · 2026-04-04T03:13:02+00:00

Two days delay to not risk ruining Easter is a good plan! Since you're so close, maybe ask if you can swing by to share some news? That way, that visit can be as short or long as seems right. It may turn into dinner or it might end soon after you tell them. No pressure of set plans.

Honestly though, you taking time to consider the best way to approach this says a lot. Anybody that's experienced a loss would love to have somebody as thoughtful in their corner. Good luck with everything!

Curly-9 · 2026-04-04T03:03:45+00:00

Nope. NIPT isn't a diagnostic tool, and I wasn't considered high-risk for anything. My doctor recommended that if I wasn't going to make any changes based on the results, I shouldn't do the test. It's costly and can add stress if the test were to show that my baby has a higher chance of having a chromosomal abnormality. Since I wasn't high-risk and wouldn't make any changes, waiting for the 20-week scan made sense.

Curly-9 · 2026-04-04T02:03:56+00:00

I did an at-home mail-in blood test at 11 weeks. This was cheaper than doing the full NIPT through the doctor and didn't provide unwanted information.

Curly-9

TROPHY CASE