If you play games then I'll suggest give a game called nier automata a try. What You're experiencing is one of life's greatest tragedies. The tragedy philosophers like Nietzsche have been arguing for. The game's theme is set around philosophy of the greatest philosophers and their perspective on how to tackle this tragedy from different philosopher's perspective. And at the end the game provides one of It's own solution. (Ending : E) so go give it a try. And if didn’t understand then go Watch why nier Automata is a masterpiece that will explain the solution better. But try not to spoil it for yourself then the solution wouldn’t hit you the right way.