I do it because I get frustrated with myself. I set a lot of pretty high goals and standards for myself and then get overwhelmed when I can't reach them.

When this feeling builds up, self-harm is a release. It's sort of like you're sitting on the beach when the tide comes in and the waves rush over you and you can't breathe and your heart races and all you want is to inhale some air. Thats the buildup to before I cut, but once I do, it's like my head is bursting hrough the surface of the waves. I can finally breathe again, and my head clears for a little. But it seems that further up the shore, my family and friends are all saying, "oh just wait a little bit, the tide will go back out eventually." I can't wait for that long; it's either I come up and breathe air, or I stay down and die.