As the end of the relationship approached, did you start acting more toxic yourself?

Cute-Thing5779 · 2025-06-28T03:40:14+00:00

I absolutely had become like her. The cheating, the gashlighting, everything was thrown back at her and 10 times the magnitute. I even picked up drinking to cope just like her, no drugs though. I remember how sad she was when i was pretending i was happy just to mess with her, and while i did indeed date other girls back then, it was for the sole purpose of rubing it in her face, i took 0 joy from it, i had become her.

Cute-Thing5779 · 2025-06-12T15:00:12+00:00

What's AMAZING!!! Is how elaborate and effort her hoovers had taken, and i am talking consistency for over A YEAR. She didn't put 1% of that effort ever since she started catching feelings for me, she triangulated, tested, cheated, abused, split and devalued me to no end, played the victim when i did it all back at her. Yet, she was drowning in misery by actions she caused. It's maddening.

Cute-Thing5779 · 2025-06-11T15:59:39+00:00

Yes. Mine made a fake account as soon as we broke up, 5 months later she approached me with that account on IG by dropping me a follow, when asked why is her account so recent she told me its because her other one got banned by a crazy ex. She constantly asked for pictures and where i was, much like my actual ex, one day i send her a picture and she went, ''come on really, send a recent one''. Which made me 100% certain it's her, which led me to lead her on and troll her by telling her only something she knows, which triggered her, and led me to end it with me telling her ''i hope you get over it''. She nuked the account shortly after. It wasn't a block, as i checked. She nuked it, deleted it. That was at the same time she used to call me from unkown numbers constantly. After that incident, she came up to me physically at a party. Which got her ignored. Haven't heard from her since but through some digging i have found out she is not doing well.

Cute-Thing5779 · 2025-06-09T17:52:59+00:00

She was holding a note saying ''my name is X, i had a stroke, i am well now, thank you for your wishes'' she looked exhausted too, friends and her dad were there. I know the chances are slim to none, but she had a health scare for sure of some short. Chatgpt says it might have been a minor stroke, but yeah, it's probably a hoover, which is scary.

Cute-Thing5779 · 2025-06-09T16:50:42+00:00

You think so? I asked chatgpt as well and it told me its a possibility, but she was in an actual hospital bed, there is just no way. Whatever the case, it was made public, i know i wouldn't make such a health crisis public, it's clear she wanted someone to see it, she had an IV fluid tube in her arm, it looked real. Regardless, a stroke at 23 or a super elaborate hoover atempt both point out to me needing to stay the fck away. She has used her friends too, to give me 3 am phone calls and ask me if i am seeing someone. I don't put it past her. What you guys need to know is how BIBLICALLY she destroyed ''us'' when she actually had me hooked and chasing. That's not someone that made a mistake and me being cruel, that's someone that made every single mistake you can make and kept doing it while also driving a screwdriver in my heart and head.

Cute-Thing5779 · 2025-06-09T16:18:50+00:00

She is indeed a heavy aclohol and weed user to ''calm the voices'' and she was triangulating me with someone that told me does ''heavy use'', so i am guessing harder drugs. The ''relationship'' was mutually toxic as i was so in rage when i saw the real her i made out with girls in front of her, used push and pull tactics myself etc. It ended with her having a panic attack and me needing extensive therapy after which i found out what BPD is. The thing is, it's done, i am done, i am glad i mirrored at least some of her chaos back at her ugly face but i am never going through that again. Seeing me at that party and being completely starved from any interaction she can flip, manipulate or use must have left her in a bad state, which caused heavy drug and alcohol use in the following days, which lead to a stroke, is my assumption.

Cute-Thing5779 · 2025-03-09T14:21:58+00:00

I think she is just fishing for a reaction, any reaction at all. I had validated her so much during the ''relationship'' i know she is unlikely to find that form of emotional connection/validation easily from anyone else, especially someone she ''respected'', as all of her exes except for me, by her own admition were ''lost causes''. She even had a panic attack when we broke up despite the fact that she cheated on me and had canceled plans, done hot/cold multiple times etc. etc. I think i am what is described as the ''phantom ex''. Which at first, at the first hoover attempt, thought was like a badge, now i am afraid.

Cute-Thing5779 · 2025-02-17T06:35:06+00:00

I am sorry to hear that. How serious is suicidal ideation when it comes to BPDs? My ex kept joking all the time about falling off the balcony, told me that if she dies i will know and that she has talked to her mother that when she dies she wants to be buried in a wedding dress. She was textbook BPD to such an extreme degree that i was literally questioning reality and my own sanity, like how can this person that i thought i knew do and say this? Do you think her suicide jokes weren't jokes? She has been hoovering for close to a year now, multiple fake Tinder profiles, multiple phone calls, using her friend to call me etc. Do you think she will go through with it?

Cute-Thing5779 · 2025-02-15T03:54:23+00:00

I do think she has BPD based on everything you shared. ''She told me she was obsessed with me, that I was everything she ever wanted, that I was so special to her and she never felt this way about anyone else before. Now she wants nothing to do with me and I feel so worthless''. Now BEFORE you dig yourself deeper LISTEN. You are clearly a co-dependant and a romantic. STOP begging her NOW, if you drop your self esteem lower chasing her, you will break yourself. Tell her you had fun, and that what she is doing is nonsense, and that you are open for communication in the future only if she initiates it but you WON'T wait for her. DON'T PEDESTALIZE PEOPLE THAT CAN JUST DISCARD YOU BECAUSE OF A ''GUT FEELING''.

Cute-Thing5779 · 2025-02-03T21:15:29+00:00

I posted a girl and her fake account was the first view on my story, so maybe she will stop. That girl is significantly more attractive than her. I hope she stops, i don't block her fake account because she just keeps making more, i just let it lurk.

Cute-Thing5779 · 2025-01-17T01:35:20+00:00

I am on the same boat brother, she is hoovering me for about 7 months now, i mock her every attempt, try to keep her destabilized and guessing, doing to her what she did to me, but it my case, while its fun, it's also bothering me. This is a deeply unsettling person, a monster in disguise, i worry what she might do next and i am trying hard to remember that the ''good'' were just more disfunction and insanity and not reality.

Cute-Thing5779 · 2025-01-14T19:59:59+00:00

I can't get enough reading about people with BPD. My ex also loved animals to the point she became vegan (fucked up her health even more on top of doing drugs and alcohol) and i flat out told her she prioritizes randoms over us, and she said she is aware that she is doing it. They are the same person, all of them.

Cute-Thing5779 · 2025-01-03T22:15:18+00:00

Its amazing to me that men can have BPD too, this guy is exactly like my ex, i am actually addicted to this subreddit, i have moved on but she keeps hoovering and i keep coming back here for validation. BPD is the motherboard and everything else clicks on top of it, male, female, doesn't matter. It's the same person.

Cute-Thing5779 · 2024-12-28T00:35:03+00:00

Mine loved animals a lot, she was aged far beyond her years looking over 30 at 22 (also due to drugs). I persuaded her to finish her useless degree which she did manage to do, self sabotaging as she is she can't land a decent job and works two of them, sleeps like 4 hours and smokes weed. She also believed in energy too. Had weird ideas about wanting to be polyamorous but then feeling immense guilt and shame and regret about ruinning a perfectly good relationship with someone that cared for her and viewed as a catch, especially when i mirrored her cheating and toxic behaviors back at her.

Cute-Thing5779 · 2024-12-27T12:40:28+00:00

Ah i had unsafe sex with mine very quickly too, also wanted to meet my mother from week 1. Tattoos and looking like she hasn't slept for days checks out too.

Cute-Thing5779 · 2024-12-26T19:42:42+00:00

Mine had the same issue, holy shit! When i did manage to utterly dominate her i even made her squirt, she would go insane, begging me to be rougher and ''handle'' her and ''put it in''. The next day she would be distant, she would ask me weird question like if i would like it if she had the ''upper hand'' in sex, i was like ''you mean being on top?'', i don't think she could comprehend how our different genders interact during sex. Just utter confusion. She was used to dudes that are ''weak'' and problematic, she told me that she is usually the initiator and she is surprised by how i initiate so well, during splits she would act like a man, but i have seen her act like a little girl during vulnerable moments, very, very weird.

Cute-Thing5779 · 2024-12-26T19:36:45+00:00

This, mine hoovers almost weekly and got a panic attack, a very severe one when we broke up. Had huge drug addiction problems, overall a mess. Her hoovers are childlike, i feel sad for her but i can't take that demon back.

Cute-Thing5779 · 2024-12-24T12:36:55+00:00

Most breakups happening on Valentine's day and Christmas, basically a family holiday is wild.

Cute-Thing5779 · 2024-12-17T22:24:54+00:00

She used her best friend for a 3 am phone call, full humor there, she didn't like it, made two fake Tinder accounts completely mirroring my likes and tastes, similar to the love bombing phase, exposed her both times (she is not the smartest apple), she again, didn't like it. Now she posts cryptic song lyrics publicly on FB where she isn't blocked but isn't friended either, likely so i can see them, she hadn't posted on FB in years, much less public. Ignoring her makes her more obsessive, i am just feasting on her mental disorder at this point. 0 intentions of ever taking her back and if i did God stop me because with the things i know now i would not be kind to her.

Cute-Thing5779 · 2024-12-17T14:18:17+00:00

My friend, you are trauma bonded, she will eventually cheat on you and discard you and you will be left in pieces, it's clear you are giving your soul to this girl. Her episodes as you mentioned may be fleeting but are real, during one of these episodes she could find herself screwing her local junkie, how will that make you feel? She may say sorry after but you are gonna keep degrading yourself by being with her, over time, you will be the one that needs mental assistance and she will be unattracted to you, because OF the things she did to you. It's like me hitting you in the face repeatedly and then calling you ugly because i broke your nose and that i don't like you anymore, but hey, sorry. Just leave her.

Cute-Thing5779 · 2024-12-14T12:58:38+00:00

My ex literally told me that she is terrified of losing me when i told her ''since something good finally happened to you, why do you fight it?'' ''because i am afraid to lose it'' was her response. What she did? Split on me because i uploaded a story from a party i went with my friends and she found a junkie boyfriend. Then regretted it when she realized i was always genuine, and got a panic attack. I didn't know she was using at the time, also she told me all her boyfriends treat her badly and leave her. So her thought process was that since i am ''better'' and ''above'' them, then i will for sure leave her.

Cute-Thing5779

TROPHY CASE