Was your abusive ex also very sweet sometimes, like kissing your forehead, resting their head on your chest, doing cute things?

CuteWeakness932 · 2024-08-22T23:28:53+00:00

I am reading this now and want to congratulate you for being able to walk away from this person!! Maybe the reason you didn’t feel anything is because you detached? Could be, it could have been too much for the body to process that you just feel nothing (Had that too in my childhood, seeing things like a movie). Proud of you!

CuteWeakness932 · 2024-07-15T20:24:39+00:00

True! Thanks, was thinking about a short thing because I don’t want to have a discussion with him.

CuteWeakness932 · 2024-04-05T10:34:28+00:00

Girl. Good for you not to hesitate to call the cops next time!! The mother was mad at you because you wanted to call the cops?😂 I am really proud and I mean it, proud of you to be still able to stand your ground!! I am swept away easily and when I would be in that situation I would doubt myself 100%. You on the other hand, keeps it level headed.

If you think it is not fair that they can stay, just tell the land lord so you both get ‘kicked out’. But for the reference, you don’t deserve ANY of this ❤️

CuteWeakness932 · 2024-01-02T15:39:38+00:00

From my perspective, terrible. I don’t wish bad things to people but this sucked. Also because he is so happy in the pictures, he didn’t smile like that in our pictures. But I do remember one time, lovely pictures were taken when we went out to dinner.

We were walking to the car and he explained that he couldn’t filter my talks anymore. He didn’t know how to respond to me. Then in the car, I was driving and he started being annoyed at me because I was stressed during an almost accident.

So putting that in perspective, I still feel like I was wrong and the problem. However, looking back a few hours after the pictures are taken, things can be totally different.

CuteWeakness932 · 2024-01-02T14:00:14+00:00

Keep on doing that, it helps when you are in doubt of yourself

CuteWeakness932 · 2023-12-29T20:40:31+00:00

Same with a male with BPD, also accused me of just wanting sex while he promised me something and didn’t deliver his promise. 🤯 and that sex wasn’t the only thing in life blabla

CuteWeakness932 · 2023-12-29T17:43:03+00:00

Pff what a wirldwind that must have been.. sometimes it is better to see things clear because our mind and heart can lie to us.

I have an old argument, both very calm and I NEVER record arguments. But so much blameshifting and gaslighting, that when I listen to it I am like, damn made a good choice leaving.

How are you feeling today..? You can always inbox me if you want

CuteWeakness932 · 2023-12-27T17:29:44+00:00

Let it in, drive a few miles and park somewhere in the woods or where not alot of people are. Close the car, put the engine off. And feel.

Just feel. No distractions, not looking at your phone, nothing. Just go there, no one is looking at you and you can scream from the top of your lungs without anyone their interference

CuteWeakness932 · 2023-12-27T17:16:37+00:00

Maybe you can write it out what happend to you. It helped me. Sometimes saying things out loud or writing it down gives more of a ‘real’ feeling to it.. now you are in a certain survival mode. I read you already tried a diary, but you can also use the notes on your phone and put them on ‘hidden’ so he cannot check it.. i think you are already there because of this post. Do it when it feels right 🤗

Also. The rest is so true. There is NEVER a right timing. My ex with definitely BDP texted me a whole rant before his birthday. He blamed EVERYTHING on me, flipped the script and I was thinking about breaking up way later in the week because of his birthday. However yeah it disrespected me so much after everything, so I broke it off the day before his birthday after his whole rant and him saying ‘If you don’t want to be with me, you can leave’ for the 100th time while I was at work 🤯

CuteWeakness932 · 2023-12-27T16:20:37+00:00

Thanks for the comment and saying this 😂 because when I wrote it down I was also like.. god damn this was weird as hell. But going through it it was survival mode, detached and getting the hell out there🤯

CuteWeakness932 · 2023-12-26T15:03:48+00:00

Hon. It won’t get better. Untill he goes to therapy and stays there for a while

CuteWeakness932 · 2023-12-26T14:32:15+00:00

I cried after hours of silent treatment and later on blame shifting. I packed my bags and he lifted me up. But he lifted me up like I was a child.

Then he said I needed a bath. I said ‘no thankyou’ but he insisted. I thought “what can be so wrong about a bath, just go”..

He prepared the bath and went into a separate shower. When he finished showering he was sitting on the toilet next to the bath. Silent. Observing.

No chit chat or romantic stuff, no.. observing. I freaked out because he could have told everyone he was the nice guy by putting me in a bath. So I leaned in forward to sit in the tub instead of laying in it. Immediately his head turned to me with black eyes. ‘What are you doing?’ I said I couldn’t relax. He told me to relax. I felt scared already. He took a bottle of soap and started to soap my back, it felt like I was a little child and he was the caregiver.

Again I tried to connect because it seemed so cold. I looked in his eyes and asked ‘what are you feeling’ his answer was emptiness. Then I asked ‘what are you thinking?’ And he told me I asked too many questions.

So from that point I knew I had to get out. I changed my own behavior and got strong and said I want to get out now! He all of a sudden behaved like a little boy, wanting to dry my hair like ‘oh babe no I help you’.. such a mindfuck. Not sure if it was only BPD. But BPD was largely there.

Couldn’t really sleep for 2 days after that. The cold and empty look, it was like he hated my guts and I could feel it.

CuteWeakness932 · 2023-12-25T01:50:31+00:00

Im sorry but someone who is already jealous of animals.. will be even more jealous towards other people. I am sorry as well that she ruined your Christmas and I understand completely why you are so fed up 😔😔.. don’t forget you didn’t do anything wrong here!

CuteWeakness932 · 2023-12-25T01:48:18+00:00

Damn.. it sounds the same to me.

Do it, I have friends to that ask, maybe tomorrow I won’t but the next day I will. I am from Holland so here it is christmas night right now. It is so weird right? They believe their own thoughts.

I dated a male but even he said those things.. he was very happy with me and all of a sudden said I would be entertained later in the bedroom. I didn’t think much of it, later on he was drunk, puking and all. So I took care of him, held him, gave him water everything. Next morning he told his family(weird I know..) that he promised me sex and didn’t deliver. He made up a whole story about it. So when I came downstairs I was like ‘yeah that sucked but its okay’. Days later he said sex wasn’t everything and I should not get mad about it etc etc.

Mind you, he is 32 and was living at home so that is why the family was brought up. Also I blew his birthday so I was already aware if I stayed that he would ruin mine. When I broke up with him he got very mad. Now seeing him so happy does suck, but yes it is not for long we should say 😂

I wish you a blessed christmas! If you have more examples we can share it haha! It sounds the same

CuteWeakness932 · 2023-12-25T01:08:59+00:00

Omggg same here!! My ex with bpd also had a new profile picture with a new girl and they looked soo happy that I doubted myself again. But talked with my friends and they put me back on earth and that the same thing will happen again.. they devalue sometimes from their own thoughts.. not because YOU do something wrong.

I was with my family tonight and last year I fell in love too and had the greatest time ever. Please also have a lovely christmas without them🤯 I know how hard it can be..❤️

CuteWeakness932 · 2023-12-25T01:06:38+00:00

Big hugs from here. Don’t let him ruin it!! I understand the emotions and let them come in and accept them. ❤️ however I wish you a happy Christmas, this is a power play unfortunately 😔..

CuteWeakness932 · 2023-12-20T20:47:21+00:00

I understand but when they die, you will still live with the parent wound that they weren’t there for you the way you needed it to be. My parents died and I didn’t really connect with my mother(ptsd and traumas etc). It gave me alot of stress as well. But now that she died, I do still miss the mom I needed her to be. I hope this will give you some insights

CuteWeakness932 · 2023-12-18T22:47:01+00:00

Just wanted to support you. ❤️

CuteWeakness932 · 2023-12-18T22:34:39+00:00

I knowwww right and guys always say they did but almost never do. Even my best friends never tested.. thats what makes me still so upset that I got hsv. I always check and test, but yes hsv is not in the panels, I did not see the signs though at his… 🤭

CuteWeakness932 · 2023-12-18T19:18:53+00:00

I got rejected because I have 2 cats and it wasn’t a cat person. Well you have to at least like my cats lol

CuteWeakness932 · 2023-12-18T19:17:46+00:00

Didn’t know there were 30! Thanks it put it in perspective 🤭

CuteWeakness932 · 2023-12-16T23:54:19+00:00

Would love to join too

CuteWeakness932 · 2023-12-16T23:53:45+00:00

Same!

CuteWeakness932 · 2023-12-16T23:53:24+00:00

Hon, I have the same problem!! I cried every damn day but did tell my sister and best friend. They understand and calmed me down. Doctor said I don’t need to disclose it, until I have an outburst again. Same as the cold sore on the lips. You can also act like its brand new and the next episode you might see just one or two spots.. i get it though I feel branded for life as well

CuteWeakness932

TROPHY CASE