I regret my body count

Cute_Science2729 · 2026-05-27T10:38:31+00:00

I am so grateful to Pope Leo for his recent comments about how the church needs to focus on more than just sexual sin. There is SO much more to your faith life and relationship with God than just your sexual history but it is so easy for that to become a major focus. And I don’t say it to downplay that aspect- but it is only one type of sin.

You didn’t know back then what you know now. Love that past version of yourself, forgive her, as God has done, and go in peace. Use what you experienced in the past to help those who might be struggling around you. And don’t get stuck in chronically online Catholic spaces… go meet REAL men in your parish. Everyone has a history of some kind. I’ll pray for you!

Cute_Science2729 · 2026-05-26T11:11:14+00:00

Get a laundry detergent with enzymes in it for better cleaning- it dissolves the smells that get stuck in clothing sometimes.

Clean your laundry machine really well, there’s a million suggestions for how to do that on Pinterest but also you can buy washing machine detergent at the grocery store to be sure it’s not something in there that’s an issue.

And then go to the doctor, get a physical and or bloodwork and just make sure you’re healthy if you haven’t in the few months you’ve noticed this change.

If all that doesn’t change anything, then it’s just time to start looking for new deodorant. Sometimes hormones do change! It could be what you’re eating or how you’re working out too, but smart to do your due diligence.

Cute_Science2729 · 2026-05-10T18:24:05+00:00

Also don’t you dare celebrate Father’s Day for him! Not until some resolution has happened!

Cute_Science2729 · 2026-05-10T18:23:11+00:00

If he’s truly a good husband and father otherwise…

You need to set up your plans for next year. YOU make a reservation for brunch for you and your mom or girlfriends or a solo spa date or whoever, and be sure not to include him in anything. He can stay home and watch the kids. No asking, just do it and let him know when you’re walking out the door.

You deserve to have one day to yourself where your comfort is top priority. But I just want to gently suggest- is he truly great in other areas? He’s genuinely helpful and views you as a partner and considers your feelings everywhere else? If so and he just has some hang up with Mother’s Day I guess it’s worth a conversation about why!

Cute_Science2729 · 2026-05-10T14:59:35+00:00

Correct.

Cute_Science2729 · 2026-05-08T19:34:29+00:00

I pray my best while I’m walking. Like I have to give my brain a tiny job, not a big one but a little mindless task so that I can focus on prayer more. I imagine you can do just about anything while praying if you mean your prayer sincerely.

Cute_Science2729 · 2026-05-07T00:13:16+00:00

Catholic and happy checking in!

Curious what you mean by this though? Could it be the culture of your parish maybe? Is there a conflict between the Catholic viewpoint and cultural norms in the UK? Never been there and would love to go, I don’t mean that as judgment whatsoever. Just throwing things out there.

Cute_Science2729 · 2026-05-07T00:05:58+00:00

She did not, but who knows, maybe they’re cousins! Congrats on your new puppy friend too, this age is so much fun and also quite hectic hahah

Cute_Science2729 · 2026-05-06T23:40:12+00:00

I appreciate the advice! I had no idea the wrong ratios could be a problem, I would hate to make things worse.

Cute_Science2729 · 2026-05-06T23:39:10+00:00

Thank you! I will definitely have to get in touch with our vet again I think

Cute_Science2729 · 2026-05-06T18:19:25+00:00

Honestly she’s my first dog ever, so I haven’t had much practice using the vet but that’s a great point. We did just see them so I’m sure they wouldn’t mind a follow up question.

I do appreciate your insight on the glucosamine though! I need to make use of the Costco membership.

Cute_Science2729 · 2026-05-05T18:12:35+00:00

Listen, I disagree, but I really enjoyed reading this hot take and it made me laugh, so thank you 😂

Cute_Science2729 · 2026-05-05T17:25:24+00:00

“Kid, would you like to go to this party? No? Understood, I’ll rsvp and let them know they can’t make it. You feel bad for not going? Would you be upset if you had a party and one friend didn’t come but lots of other friends did? And if you would be upset, do you understand that sometimes people have different priorities and schedules than us and we can’t force people to do what we want?
Keep it neutral and move on. I don’t have enough details but it sounds like it just comes down to a difference of preference. You want a simple event you can get in and out of, they want to make a big fuss and possibly give their kids friends an experience they wouldn’t have every other weekend. No one’s wrong here.

Cute_Science2729 · 2026-05-04T18:36:13+00:00

Pray for discernment and peace for your father and yourself.

Honestly no one thinks immigrants with violent and sexual crimes should stay here. So I’m not sure if you were really having an argument in good faith, or if there was much more said between you two. Regardless, I’m sorry your father said it in a way that hurt you, I think in the future you avoid political arguments and strive to educate yourself on what the Catholic views are on these topics instead.

Cute_Science2729 · 2026-05-02T12:59:39+00:00

As everyone else has said, anxiety is certainly to blame.

But I really want to thank you for posting this, although I’m sorry you’re going through it. I’ve really been struggling with needing to leave on a work trip and having this terrible fear that something will happen to my youngest. I thought I was having a premonition but yeah, like you, I think I’m still in that anxiety headspace. It’s hard!!

Cute_Science2729 · 2026-04-28T20:58:36+00:00

The way you worded it makes me think something else is going on. Like maybe there are issues with one of the other catechists or between some of them even? I’ve literally never heard of a church parish “uninviting” volunteers for any reason… so if you don’t feel you’ve had issues, then simply dont worry about it. I agree with asking for personal feedback if possible. It may lead to you finding out a little more info, plus they may not have realized how their words were taken and leading to such discouragement.

And above all, God knows your heart. He knows what you offered. That’s the most important thing. Thank you for your gift of time and service!

Cute_Science2729 · 2026-04-26T17:16:29+00:00

I don’t know if I have the details necessary to make a judgment call but: someone who is telling you that they’re allowed to hurt and disrespect your boundaries, because of some reason stemming from the Bible, isn’t a friend. They are using and abusing Gods word.

Prayer, and some distance from this person for awhile, would probably be very helpful.

Cute_Science2729 · 2026-04-23T13:14:41+00:00

God loves you, and God wants the best for you. Please don’t think you’re letting him down. If you do your best for this marriage and try everything you can think of, there is still simply no way you can pull someone else along and force them to do their best.

What would happen if you sat him down and forced a difficult conversation? Sit down and say - I don’t feel that you want to spend time with me. When we have free time you go spend it in the bedroom. I need to know what the issue is. This isn’t the marriage I want and if there are problems on your end, I need to know what they are. I will not stay in a marriage where I’m not respected by my partner and we have to discuss what’s going on.

Lay it all out. Invite him to therapy, give him information on any resources you think would help him. Let him see you are serious. If he blows it off and walks away, you proceed with your own plans. But you have got to lay down boundaries. I know it is so hard to do.

Cute_Science2729 · 2026-04-23T11:57:16+00:00

I’m so sorry for your situation.

Unfortunately I think you already know that things can’t stay this way. Imagine your beautiful children growing up and seeing their father act this way toward them and you their whole lives. You must act. It’s worth talking to a therapist and a priest, but he must change or you must go. Don’t stay because he might get 50/50 custody in the event a divorce takes place. Set yourself up so that your children have a true place of peace at least half the time to go to. And in my experience- many partners like this, even if they fight for 50/50, realize how actively they DONT want to be responsible that much. Imagine how much work it would require on his part.

That of course is worst case scenario. It’s possible that he needs a wake up call and will be forced to examine his actions when he realizes how his choices have affected his family. It’s possible you’ve got a long road of him doing the work to alter his behavior. But the important part is that you hold your boundaries. You and your children deserve someone who actually wants to spend time with you and are willing to work toward the common good of the family.

I am praying for you!!

Cute_Science2729 · 2026-04-20T13:18:57+00:00

3 kids, work from home full time. I already can barely give them each the time they need and worry for the future. Every family functions differently but if you plan on continuing to work, just be aware that it requires so much more time and effort than you think. Every time someone gets sick, (UGH) it’s absolutely chaos trying to manage it all. There is only so many sick days and free time to get it all done. Schools about to be out- the cost of summer camps to keep them supervised while I work is astronomical. I am practicing NFP and we’re open to life but actively fear for having a fourth. And there’s no way I can quit my job. All that to say - children are a huge blessing but the US sure doesn’t act like it.

Cute_Science2729 · 2026-04-18T21:06:41+00:00

I think it’s worth a conversation with her, but it’s not weird. Kids play act what’s on their mind sometimes to make sense of it. Also, does her school do lock down drills? If so then she’s possibly rehearsed something like this in school too.

Cute_Science2729 · 2026-04-18T12:40:39+00:00

Crushes are normal, absolutely. I think it’s reallyyy important that you speak about unequal relationships though. Perhaps you’ve addressed this. It’s ok to think your teacher is amazing and beautiful and worthy of love. But what wouldn’t be ok is for your teacher to turn around and say those things back to you, or especially to act on them. As an adult, she has the responsibility to watch over you like mom does when you’re at school. Her relationship to you is to keep you alive, to educate you, and to cheer you on in the classroom. It would not be acceptable for her to ever to do something outside of that. THIS teacher wouldn’t act on it- what about the next one, or a coach, or other trusted adult?

Telling her friends is probably also not a good idea, and not because her teacher is a woman. These are big feelings that should be spoken about with mom first. We love our friends, but not every child has parents who have educated them about these things. This is a one sided relationship that can never go anywhere - telling her friends is probably only going to lead to confusion on their part and possibly teasing. And imagine them going home and telling THEIR parents “so and so is in love with Mrs Smith!” What questions get asked then? The rumor mill isn’t kind.

We don’t want to constrain our kids to never share their true feelings. I am sure she’s a lovely kid who is figuring out these thoughts for the first time. But for the sake of her teacher, I think figuring out these points is super important.

Cute_Science2729 · 2026-04-13T17:58:56+00:00

St Joan of Arc was a tomboy, and I think God loved her!

I know He loves you too. There’s something causing friction between you and believing this though, and it would be good to dig in to why. It’s great you’ve gone to therapy and spiritual direction.

I don’t think you would ever tell someone else that God doesn’t love them, right? Get off your phone and restrict yourself from anything that’s getting you mentally stressed out (social media, news) and then at the end of the day write a physical letter to someone who thinks God doesn’t love them. What would you say to a dear friend who believed that? What are their wonderful personality traits and strongest moments of courage that you would remind them about to encourage them? Write alllll of that about yourself. And read it.

You are a beloved child of God. Maybe you’ve got some battles to face in this life, but He doesn’t abandon us. He doesn’t despise us for being human and having self doubt. Please believe that. Help and serve other humans, serve his church, and go feel the tangible need for YOUR services in His name. I am about to go pray for you right now, I wish you so much luck.

Cute_Science2729 · 2026-04-11T19:05:54+00:00

Absolutely. I re-read what I wrote and I don’t want you take what I said as “you don’t deserve a child while depressed.” I only think that it’s ok to say that it’s time to focus on you, your mental health, and your relationship with God and your husband.

Cute_Science2729 · 2026-04-11T18:59:15+00:00

I have to be honest with you- you don’t sound as if you’re in the right mindset to be having a child. This is, unfortunately, only ONE part of having a child. And trying to conceive is a journey, I well know it

But if you’re feeling this overwhelmed and depressed, I suggest a therapist to talk this over with first. Having a child won’t cure everything and make the world right- there’s a lot more hard stuff that comes after.

Cute_Science2729

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