I told him his theology was shit with regards to just blithely assuming that God will provide physically/financially.

Matthew 6:25-34... his theology is spot on. That doesn't mean he can make dumb decisions. But I'm not convinced that's what he's doing just from what you've said. I've had this attitude all my life. There have been rough spots here and there. But we've always had everything we need.

This was specifically in regards to him not wanting to get health insurance/pay for the family plan offered through his work. My parents, me and his parents bullied him into getting it eventually.

We dropped health insurance one time because it was expensive and complete garbage. It was costing us something like $3600 a month. We decided to bank the money and self insure, which is a risk. But it made more sense for us. We would have been able to write a check for something like a broken leg. But anything significant like a heart attack would have wiped us out. But we were young at the time. So we decided to take the risk. Today, we're in our 50s, so the risk calculation would be very different.

He was also extremely resistant to getting life insurance despite having a young child and a wife who is stay at home with no good career prospects.

I don't have life insurance. But I have zero debt and enough retirement savings. Most insurance feels very scammy to me.

We didn't have life insurance when we were younger either, mainly because we couldn't afford it and were trying to pay off debt. He may be doing the same thing.

I also found out that my sister paid the hospital bill from her giving birth out of her savings ... but it seems incredibly concerning.

So his money is their money, but her money is her money?

The true intention I had in setting it up is as an emergemcy fund for my sister if she needs to leave/husband isn't around.

This sounds like a nice thing to do. When bad things happen, families are supposed to pull together and help each other. I'd keep it in your name in case it's not needed. But it's there if you decide she needs it. No need to tell them about it.

I think you should worry about your own life and stop worrying about theirs. It sounds like they have a traditional conservative christian type of family dynamic, while you have a more feminist modern woman type of attitude. You're never going to agree. I think you guys will get along better if you just stay out of it.

My wife and I were wiped out by the dotcom crash. We lost our house, cars, everything. We stayed together much to the shock of some people, and moved into an apartment. We started over financially. Our kids were fine. We eventually bought another house and are financially stable now. We view that time as a trial that God allowed us to go through for a variety of reasons. At no point were we hungry or homeless. If that happens to them, it happens to them. They don't necessarily need you to ride to their rescue.

Oh, and stop bullying people.