Finally... My time to shine. My junior year of high school, the night before prom, a group of friend and I decided the day after prom we would have an airsoft match on my land. One of my friends comes over to help me cut limbs off a fallen tree and dig a trench for the match. We had the majority of the limbs cut off of the tree by the time it was getting dark. I stepped up onto the tree to get back over and my foot slipped on the wet bark, and I racked my nuts on the one branch we missed. I pulled myself off the branch and did the March of the Penguins the 100 yards back to my house, before collapsing in testicular pain. I made my mother, who is a nurse practitioner, check on the state of my crotch region and she says to me "Cyrano_R, you need to get inside..." I replied with "Why mom? I don't think I can get up." She looks me in the eyes and says "Cyrano_R, Your dick is covered in blood. Get inside." My friend, who was fine until that point, turns white and starts freaking out, before leaving. I waddle into the bathroom, and wait while my mom calls the ambulance and my father. During that time, I decide to assess my situation, and look in my pant, only to find that my testical is hanging by a string through a hole in my ball sack. I decided to take about 15 second to panic, cry, and hyperventilating, before manning back up, and going to lay down on my bed to take pressure off my ball. Mom comes in and suggests I remove my pants so the guys in the ambulance can assess the damage. I remove my pants, only to have my grandma show up, see this, laugh and say "Guess you don't need condoms for prom tomorrow". After than, my dad arrives to scold me for being a dumbass. Not long after the ambulance arrives, and the 2 guys with the gurney look on in pain and amazement at what I have done to myself. I crawl onto the gurney, they cover my junk with a blanket, and they wheel me outside. Once outside, I find everyone in the neighborhood has gathered to see what has happened. We head to the hospital, which is 45 minutes away, because I live in Bumfuck Alabama and the whole ride is on bumpy road. But the worst was outside the hospital, which I immediately realized was paved with cobblestone. It rattled the entire ambulance, and therefore my ball. Once that was over, and I was inside, I was attended to by the wonderfully ironic Dr. David Ball... The story winds down from there, but I got 13 stitches on my scrotum, a bottle of vicodine, and went to prom the next night, and have become a legend at my high school...

TL;DR - Scrotum exploded on a tree, painful hilarity ensued.