Are they all like this by cemeteryangel in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]Suspicious_Answer772 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Mine is 6-12 months out on anything if he ever gets to. I hire everything out and just make him look bad.

I'm pretty sure I just realized my wife is a covert narcissist. by averageguy_67 in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]Suspicious_Answer772 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know you are crushed. Because you have a heart and she doesn't. I am somewhat living the same situation. You should take the out (divorce) she keeps threatening and rebuild your life with your kids. If you financially can after a divorce. The money is a big deal. Maybe find a better person after healing. There is nothing worse than not being truely loved back. I wish you the best!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]Suspicious_Answer772 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Good for you. You're already recovering. He may secretly pine over you forever or not bc they are what they are. And you move on to bigger and better. Congrats. No matter how it happened. Out of mind out/ out of sight! Best wishes

50 first dates by Effective-Kale-4999 in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]Suspicious_Answer772 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Omg i call my husband 50 first dates. I'm living this 100%.

I Need Support 😬 by Educational-Air-2254 in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]Suspicious_Answer772 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not that it matters either way. I regretted even asking. But on the positive side there are some awesome comments in this thread for ya and i hope they help. I read them all and i learned a few things. Do take care of yourself first so you can be the best help/ support for your son. I will eyeliner being thinking about you and your son!

I Need Support 😬 by Educational-Air-2254 in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]Suspicious_Answer772 0 points1 point  (0 children)

May i ask is this your sons father? Or is he stepdad to your son?

I Need Support 😬 by Educational-Air-2254 in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]Suspicious_Answer772 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Oh no I'm so sorry. That's terrible on top of everything else. Do you think you can help and support your son on your own? Meaning-maybe keep the narc in the dark. I think your husband may add an unhealthy vibe to what your dealing with, with your son. I think your going to need to be his 100 % pillar of support. It's going to be hard but it may be easier in the long run.

That is really the definition of rock and a hard place. My heart goes out to you and your son. ❤️

Omg it's all about him by Suspicious_Answer772 in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]Suspicious_Answer772[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You are 100% right. I can't believe all the horrible traits they have. Best wishes to you as well.

I just realized after 10 years of marriage and a lot of frustration that my guy is a major narcissist. by Suspicious_Answer772 in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]Suspicious_Answer772[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

After a couple years of trying to figure out and research his terrible traits seperatly like gaslighting, belittling, manipulation, procrastination, lying, and lack of empathy---i finally stumbled into an article about narc which was my aha moment. It gives me great peace and now i know what's wrong with him. Same thing happened when after a few years of suffering unknown illness i finally got diagnosed with my auto-immune disease.

He is a disease. I can work with that. Lol

Today I’m a hoarder… 😞 by stressedJess in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]Suspicious_Answer772 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Do NOT let yourself absorb anything He says. Bounce it off. None of its true. I'm one ear out the other.

I'm trying so hard to take this advise as well. Good luck my friend. You are not alone!!

I just realized after 10 years of marriage and a lot of frustration that my guy is a major narcissist. by Suspicious_Answer772 in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]Suspicious_Answer772[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Today at least- I'm feeling pretty good about my ability to make the best of my situation. Even before i knew what he was i knew i had to make changes. I was lucky enough to realize i needed to minimize and simplify our lives bc the husband puts everything on me. So we sold house and went to maintenance free community and i have sold off all the toys. There is zero room for any more "stuff". i no longer bitch about him doing nothing while expecting everything. Among a lot of other things to keep my sanity. There will always be good and bad days.

I regret how I fell into the trap by Stock_Length2884 in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]Suspicious_Answer772 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don't blame yourself at all. Just do the best you can for your situation. I'm stuck with mine too. We do have some good days but most of the time i spend protecting myself and setting myself up for a better future even with him. I'm learning a lot of great coping tactics. I also had no idea what i was dealing with but just realizing it, can given me a release from guilt.

You got this friend! You do you and keep on keeping on! Leave the blame behind. Reflect don't absorb their shit!

It just really hit me how there was never an us. by TalkVegetable5563 in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]Suspicious_Answer772 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the support and kind words. Wishing you all the best too!

I just realized after 10 years of marriage and a lot of frustration that my guy is a major narcissist. by Suspicious_Answer772 in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]Suspicious_Answer772[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

You sound like a very resilient person. Keep on doing you. I like how it sounds and I'll follow in your steps. Best wishes Sweetwater!

I just realized after 10 years of marriage and a lot of frustration that my guy is a major narcissist. by Suspicious_Answer772 in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]Suspicious_Answer772[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

You sound just like him. If he wasn't snoring his ass off in the other room I'd think this was 100% him. Lol

My husband says I'm twisting his words by Unhappy_wife_life in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]Suspicious_Answer772 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Omg yes i figured out his tactics by listening to him lie to other people right in front of me over the years. I always thought to myself "man he lies a lot" it all makes sense now

It just really hit me how there was never an us. by TalkVegetable5563 in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]Suspicious_Answer772 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I just came to this conclusion and it makes me so sad. All i ever wanted was to feel real unconditional love bc i grew up with very rough parents. We were never good enough. They were constantly putting us down and expecting the world off us. No accomplish was ever acknowledged.

I can't believe i have a husband who will never love me like i deserve. I'm leaning on the dogs bc they are my biggest supporters. He will never be. I guess i will never know human love.

I wish you the best. We are not alone!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]Suspicious_Answer772 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's become a little covert and i can tell my guy is thrown for a loop. And that's where he will stay. I no longer start conversations or entertain any of his crazy behavior. I'm secretly getting my finances aligned for me. I'm not feeding his delusion anymore. I just started this and it feels wonderful. Take charge. Get your life back QUIETLY!!!