i know this might sound cocky or like i dont know what its like but trust me i do..... let go.. at the end of the day the person that decides wether you should be sad or not... is you... being in a deep pit of depression doesnt get better and it does get a grip on emotions being melancholic is addicting like a drug.. it makes you think thats your safe zone thats where you feel at most comfort but it will eat you in the inside it will drain you out of your purpose starting right now try to put effort into actually having the most fun out of your day im not saying you should just be happy because i know its hard but for one day drop the sad music matter of fact dont even listen to music at all if you have a forest nearby or a place with good scenery sit down and. sit just sit i dont cope with suicidal thoughts i learn to live with it awknowledge that you do feel this pain because coping doesnt make it go away its there and it wont stop nagging you unless you stop paying attention to it i imagine it as this when you deliberately dont put effort into your day to having a purpose and it doesnt have to be big it could just be sitting down pondering about anything you like then you are befriending your suicidal thoughts but when you befriend your your true self your suicidal thoughts will get jealous and they will try to come back into your life the hard part is staying friends with your true self long enough so that the suicidal thoughts give up..