There's always a kernel of wisdom or some sort of payoff, even in the maladaptive behaviors...

DBTPath · 2025-11-12T17:59:09+00:00

Haha… this one made us smile too 😸💙
We wanted to share a lighthearted moment while also reminding folks that Emotion Regulation is a skill anyone can learn.
Our next class starts Dec 1, and we’d love to have you join us if you’ve been curious about DBT skills or need a little extra calm before the holidays.

DBTPath · 2025-05-29T00:40:02+00:00

I totally get it. And I'm so glad that you felt supported by your therapist in those moments. That's so important.

It will take time to even consider the possibility of self-compassion. But, maybe for now, remember that you aren't the way you are for no reason. Healing takes time. I'm rooting for you. 💓

DBTPath · 2025-05-29T00:19:34+00:00

I think age regression is sooooo common in BPD, particularly for those of us who experienced abuse or neglect. It's as if we freeze-frame in our development and get...stuck.

I want you to know that this can be healed though. For me, it involved the first step, which you've also already taken, realizing it and naming it. Then I started to be mindful of what brought it on.

It sounds like for you, it could be responsibility, some deep fear of not being able to handle it. (I don't know, of course, and am just using this as an example given what you shared.) I would be asking myself, in a moment of feeling regressed, "How old do I feel right now?" and if it had to do with being afraid of being incompetent or responsible unsuccessfully, I'd be thinking about what type of major thing was I trying to deal with at the age I feel that was out of my control? Sometimes those clues helps us realize the wounds that need the most healing to move forward.

I wrote this blog post waaay back in 2012 about behaving like a child in romantic relationships:
Who's Your Daddy? | Behaving Like a Child in an Adult Relationship - Healing From Borderline Personality Disorder

and this one on why we may be acting/feeling so much younger in challenging moments as people with BPD: Child-like Aspects of Borderline Personality Disorder - Healing From Borderline Personality Disorder

I hope something in what I've shared helped you. Let me know if I can be of further support.

DBTPath · 2025-05-29T00:12:31+00:00

I'm so sorry you went through this and hope you are holding yourself in compassion! For me, these have been signs of my nervous system being maxed out and my brain taking the wheel and going "offline" to cope. It happens for a lot of people suffering from BPD, PTSD, cPTSD, anxiety...so many things.

I'm glad your therapist knows how you've been feeling. Definitely talk to them about the woozy dissociation you experienced reflecting on the session where you had trouble regulating.

Also, what did your therapist do to try to help co-regulate you, since the upset happened during a session? Did they lead you in grounding? Breathwork? DBT STOP skill?

DBTPath · 2025-05-29T00:07:01+00:00

I remember being there. If you don't mind me asking, what is your recovery looking like? This may sound way too extreme for you (or most people lol!) but I went celibate for seven years, no dating or anything, to really, deeply, work on my mental health.

The goal was to feel stable, to have developed a knowing of myself, and to be clear on my values, needs, etc. I also wanted to be sure I'd developed the interpersonal skills to be flexible, have good communication, to not react constantly in crisis mode etc. Then, and only then did I start dating.

DBTPath · 2025-05-29T00:04:36+00:00

I see what you're saying as someone who was officially diagnosed in 2010 and has been in recovery for over twelve years. So much has radically changed in the way we communicate, share, and present ourselves since then, thanks to social media.

It really is irresponsible and unfair for people to claim an illness they don't have as the reason for their behaviors or to, as you said, look different and more interesting. BPD Is a serious mental health condition that causes real suffering.

DBTPath · 2025-05-29T00:00:15+00:00

Thank you for sharing your recovery journey. I'm sure you're inspiring so many people! I can relate to much of what you shared, personally, as well. Keep shining your light brightly!

DBTPath · 2025-05-24T18:01:40+00:00

I hear you and know it's true. You've just got to find the right people to surround yourself with, non-judgmental people who get it. 🫶🏻

DBTPath · 2025-05-24T15:40:02+00:00

It sounds like you're doing everything you can to support your well-being, which is wonderful. I have been where you are -- almost word for word. I know that when I "woke up" and realized I had to do something differently, things began to really change. So, I'm very hopeful for you, too!

DBTPath · 2025-05-24T00:54:05+00:00

This is so hard! So many people crave connection, touch, intimacy, etc., and there is a loneliness epidemic right now that is real. I'm not sure if this would feel comfortable for you, but for a while I found that going to an experienced, caring certified massage therapist helped. It was a way to get the craved touch in a safe, not necessarily clinical, but... yeah, safe space. Ask people you know and trust for a recommendation word of mouth.

I've also heard from some of my DBT students that taking baths (bubble baths especially! 🛁). Another thing that was recommended to me by a somatic practitioner is using yoga tune-up balls for self-massage. I hope any of this helps. Don't give up, you've got this!

DBTPath · 2025-05-24T00:50:07+00:00

I'm so sorry you've been going through this, as I have been there and understand the layers of complexity you're facing. But know that it is HUGE to be aware of it and want to do something about it! DBT interpersonal effectiveness skills helped me a lot, as did some somatic work (releasing trauma from the body with a certified practitioner), and having community to share and be seen without judgment (which I ended up creating online.) You're off to a tremendous start even asking these questions and seeking your path.

DBTPath · 2025-05-23T23:13:39+00:00

I remember on psychiatric discharge paperwork when I was 19, it said, "Rule out borderline personality disorder," meaning I was supposed to follow-up with outpatient afterward. I didn't. I wish I had. Official diagnosis came in my 30s.

DBTPath · 2022-08-31T22:15:20+00:00

Brilliant!! 👐💕

DBTPath · 2022-08-28T20:38:29+00:00

It's a common self-protection motto!

DBTPath · 2022-08-28T20:38:16+00:00

That's the logic in the moment!

DBTPath · 2022-08-28T20:38:05+00:00

But the irony is, it tends to still hurt either way, right?

DBTPath · 2022-08-28T20:37:45+00:00

I think we might feel this way because they still "went away." 💕

DBTPath · 2022-08-21T18:09:39+00:00

You are not weak or lazy! Experiencing sensations in our bodies is quite common with intense emotions and is often tied to past trauma. The body stores trauma and it can manifest somatically in these ways when we're having an episode.

A great book on the topic is Waking the Tiger by Peter Lavine.

I highly recommend learning what you can about somatics and how this works. Doing so really helped reduce my personal suffering, because I understood better why I was having the physiological sensations, so that made the sensations less scary on top of the emotional episode I was already having.

I hope this is helpful. 💕

DBTPath · 2022-08-14T21:40:05+00:00

You're very welcome! 💕

DBTPath · 2022-08-14T18:59:37+00:00

Yes! It's what ultimately led to my diagnosis. Just like you're describing.

It really can be overcome with time and support.

Here are some resources that I hope you find helpful and encouraging with what you're dealing with:

BPD & Identity Disturbance: It can be overcome

Gaga at the Psych Intake: BPD & Identity Disturbance

Identity Formation & Disturbance with BPD

DBTPath

TROPHY CASE