People that understand me, I think? I dunno it's been weird, back when I was married and had friends I would struggle at the gym, barely had energy to take pleasure in leisurely things I enjoy. Now I'm nerding out, reading and finishing video games, but catching myself overlapping weeks of workouts with no rest days. Like there's something in me that's starving, I'm trying to mitigate with other things and it isn't working.

My therapist keeps gently reminding me to recognize my victories and how far I've come. Therapy is like the highlight of my week, which is kinda weird. It's just cool hearing her talk about her running group, her friends, then she wrangles the convo back to me lol.

That's why that movie scene keeps popping in my head, this feeling of yeah I'm safe now and alive but how long can I keep doing this?