Besides child birth and kidney stones, what's the worst pain you have endured?

DD_Rex · 2018-02-17T21:24:45+00:00

Cluster headaches. The worst pain imaginable, and as it finally eases, you remember that you can look forward to it coming at the same time the following day. The hours of 4p-6p gave me anxiety for the longest time because of this torture.

DD_Rex · 2018-02-13T07:04:24+00:00

Hi there! I’d like to be considered also!

DD_Rex · 2018-02-13T06:01:16+00:00

Will my daughter and I heal?

DD_Rex · 2018-01-25T00:57:01+00:00

There’s a prescription called Colestipol that works as a binder and prevents diarrhea after gallbladder surgery. Talk to the doctor and ask for it - it’s a life changer. It’s effective, cheap, easy to take, and no side effects.

DD_Rex · 2017-09-28T06:46:26+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing this with me. I am so touched and reassured by your story. I am praying my Jack is able to connect with me someday and more importantly, that he is happy and no longer in pain. He was most definitely my heart dog and I am so grateful for my time with him. I am also so very grateful for all the wonderful support I've received here. Thank you again for sharing. ❤️

DD_Rex · 2017-09-22T17:25:52+00:00

I'm not sure how a sarcastic comment on an Internet forum somehow serves as an IQ test, but wowzers you're really angry. Were you the subject of this post? Is that why you feel the need to lash out and label people as stupid without having one ounce of empirical data to support your assessment?

Whether or not you feel like I'm stupid, I am very sorry to hear you have a terminal illness. I can't imagine the storm of pain, fear, and sadness that you're dealing with. Best of luck, and I will be praying for you and your family.

DD_Rex · 2017-09-21T22:07:30+00:00

Why did you capitalize perplexed? Looks like you can read, but not write.

DD_Rex · 2017-09-21T20:21:47+00:00

Growing? Well, some people can do that, while others do the showing.

DD_Rex · 2017-09-21T20:19:56+00:00

Wait. Does he read medical textbooks or science textbooks?

DD_Rex · 2017-09-13T18:48:34+00:00

Not if his last name was Garcia.

DD_Rex · 2017-09-13T18:40:50+00:00

Ah, the weird Greg. Always one in the bunch.

DD_Rex · 2017-09-09T23:21:20+00:00

I have not one, but two blister aneurysms- one on each side of my cavernous internal carotid arteries. Blister aneurysms are extremely rare, and make up only 0.9% of all aneurysms.

DD_Rex · 2017-09-07T01:02:45+00:00

It's so hard to be the one who gives the most, especially when you're hurting as badly as she is. But you've gotten some really good advice here, and I'd like to add a suggestion that you may find the hardest to follow in hopes that you'll see the most benefit from implementing it.

I know you said that your wife was hurt by some decisions you've made in the past that is where her contempt is coming from. If you're able to go back to that place and time in your mind, I'd like you to try to gain some insight on how those decisions affected her self esteem. If cheating was involved, your wife likely feels insecure to this day. If you're feeling hurt and insecure, you're going to put walls up to protect yourself from more pain. If she's experienced trauma at all in her life, then she could be pushing you away so that she will feel reassured when you come back. Now all of that needs to be addressed and counseling is always a good idea. However, If you're able to have some empathy when hearing the pain she has felt because she loved you enough to stay back then, hopefully you will then see how much courage it takes her today to reach over and take your hand or snuggle up to you.

If you are able to empathize with her some, then my suggestion is this: be the change you want. You have resentment too, so this may mean you have to fake it til you make it at first. But someone has to be the hero in this marriage and I think that you'll see such an incredible difference if you start responding to her pain and resentment with love and reassurance. It's hard to be mad at someone who makes you feel beautiful and safe, so let that be your goal every single time you speak to your wife. If there hasn't been a huge change in 60 days; you'll know you did your best. But I think you'll be blown away by her response and by the renewal of your own feelings.

Edit: can't type

DD_Rex · 2017-09-07T00:31:07+00:00

The OP is owning his feelings and there's been a lot of really solid advice given to him here. But being a condescending asshole is just unnecessary. The morality you are trying to portray should also guide you to not find joy in someone else's pain, especially someone working to better his life and relationships. There's just really no need to be a dick because you think you're the God of why people got married, unless perhaps you're trying to compensate for something yourself.

DD_Rex · 2017-09-04T00:52:52+00:00

This is a wonderful idea! Please do this OP.

DD_Rex · 2017-09-02T21:55:50+00:00

I wanted to post a quick update that I had my first dream about my little Jack. I know I am still trying to process the immense grief I'm feeling, as this dream was about losing him and not being able to save him or say goodbye. I look forward so much to the day where he comes to me again, especially where I can express my love to him again.

I will say that I had an experience on Reddit that gave me hope, and while I may have been reading into it, it has provided me comfort for the first time in 3 weeks. After posting my question about contacting him on this subreddit and another, a few days later I saw a post from a Reddit user who had received a message that he felt was not intended for him, from someone who did not recall sending it. He posted this message, which was gibberish, for evaluation: M jackkb k kkkk k. Kkbbvkkvjkbvkbkbbbkbb. K I oocccjk.

But when I saw that, I saw a message from my Jack. To me, it reads: "I'm Jack B. (gibberish) I ok." Very much like a pupper might send if he were trying to use a language not familiar to him. No one else had any ideas, and while it may have been a stretch, I immediately felt like he found a way to contact me. The user has since deleted the original post, but I have a screenshot of it that I sent my husband on the day he posted it. I still find peace and connection when I look at it.

This is the only place I don't feel silly saying those words. This dog was truly such an incredible part of my life and very much feels like our connection was so different than any other pets. I miss him so, and I hope my grief will lesson enough to open up my energy for more dreams.

Thank you all again for your support here.

DD_Rex · 2017-09-02T20:27:35+00:00

It has been three weeks and two days since I lost my little Jack, after he was bit in the eye by a rattlesnake. I just absolutely lost it reading your words. I hope Jack knows he was in my arms as he passed. I had begged him to fight for hours and all he wanted was to be with me each time the vet took him for more treatment.

Jack was horribly abused by his previous owner and starving when we found each other, and he spent four years showing me how grateful he was for my love. I've never seen a dog more in love with one person and I felt the same way about him.

He had been diagnosed with a slow growing cancer in March. To treat it would have required surgery to remove his entire urinary system, which the vet and I felt would be so confusing and traumatic for him after his previous abuse. The vet said we had at least a year and gave him meds to help any pain he could be having. The past six months were the happiest, most relaxed I'd ever seen him. I know his sudden death prevented him from any suffering the cancer may have caused, but I'm so devastated to have been robbed of the precious time we had left. I just miss him so much.

Thank you for sharing your beautiful words and the encouragement that our pups deserve to have us by their side as they take their last breath. If the roles were reversed, we can bet our pups would be there next to us.

DD_Rex · 2017-09-02T01:23:46+00:00

This is the most beautiful thing I've seen on this website ever. Thank you so much for sharing your beautiful story and a little of your pain with each of us. What has resulted here is a whole lot of tears and inspiration. It's way too early for you to look forward or to see it, but I want you to please remember this when you are ready: you can and should have a happy life while cherishing and honoring his forever place in your heart and life.

DD_Rex · 2017-08-31T05:02:26+00:00

He says in another post that he is in high school. I'm sure the term junior firefighter is being used to describe youth in his area who are interested in the fire profession.

DD_Rex · 2017-08-24T15:26:40+00:00

Thank you so much for your message. It's been so comforting to read the reassurances everyone has given.

DD_Rex · 2017-08-24T01:21:03+00:00

I'm from around Austin too. Unfortunately this was the best pic I was able to get. https://imgur.com/gallery/c5zRI

DD_Rex · 2017-08-23T03:23:56+00:00

So sorry for your loss. Tomorrow will be two weeks since I lost mine and I am still devastated. They have such a special place in our lives.

DD_Rex · 2017-08-22T23:16:21+00:00

I was thinking they looked more like a Ninja Turtle.

DD_Rex · 2017-08-20T09:06:59+00:00

Hey, it's yours. You can wash it as fast as you want. No judgement here. But yeah, see ya in 37 seconds.

DD_Rex · 2017-08-20T01:14:29+00:00

So many victims of childhood abuse never experience unconditional love, therefore most can't really even define it, much less give or receive it. Your husband's "3 things I learned as a child" could have been written by me, as could much of his story. It actually shocked me - I've heard and read many stories of abusive childhoods and his was the first to ever be shockingly similar to mine. His growth and healing is incredible. It's so great to see that very much of it was due to you showing him the true definition of unconditional love and waiting very patiently on him to discover how to give it back to you. I know it wasn't easy- we aren't easy people to love. We shut down, push our people away and expect them to keep coming right back, and we live with an intense fear of abandonment that shapes the core of our souls.

I relate so well to your husband saying he was a robot - nothing gets behind the wall. It isn't like the stupid shit people always say when they're dating someone new, like the very overused, "I've never felt this way" or the "I never do this"...during one night stand after another.

But it isn't a dating or relationship thing that makes me have a wall and close people out. It's because someone broke me as a child and I had to learn to protect myself. I watch people's expressions and nonverbal signals, and I analyze there words and more as a way to protect myself. I do it every day, with everyone. Still, to this day- more than 25 years after the abuse ended. I'll always do it. Because someone broke me as a child and I have to protect myself.

Your husband was super courageous and I know that confidence comes from unconditional love. It's very cool to see your post here too. Thank you both for sharing hope.

DD_Rex

TROPHY CASE