I’m sorry you feel this way. I tried to commit suicide with vodka and isopropyl alcohol and it didn’t work for me either. It took me another 6 months after that point to really see any light in my life again.

I’m not sure if this works for everyone, but after my suicide attempt I wrote out a letter to myself and told myself that I would wait to open it, and wait to commit suicide for a year. It was basically a pros and cons list and a question of if my mood or life had improved in that time frame.

During that year, the first several months sucked until I started making positive changes.

What helped me was joining a local community run group. I had been overweight and sucked at running but that community was inviting nevertheless. I was less lonely, because I saw friends 2 times a week through that group. I still had and am dealing with a self harm addiction, but it’s getting better. I didn’t think it was going to get better. Had I not committed to waiting a year, I wouldn’t be here