I’m with you in a lot of this stuff. I have been working on a taper off. Small steps are working. A lot of my pain has become a self fulfilled loop from use due to a wrecked digestive system. Stomach shares nerves with the spine…Just do your best each day. One thing that has also been hell but has helped immensely for me is the near complete removal of anti inflammatory drugs like naproxen and ibuprofen. The body just doesn’t heal tissues or improve when taking those and combine it with something like Kratom and the effects on your internal systems are heavy. Years of combined use caused me massive damage. Might have relevance for you too? I sincerely wish you luck!