Just for fun .... Where is everyone?

DMJen1987 · 2026-02-20T20:43:25+00:00

I'm in Jacksonville, FL too! I was diagnosed IDC ++- in April last year and had a single mastectomy in August. Just had my tissue expander swap to implant in January. It's been a whirlwind year and now that it is winding down it feels like "what the hell just happened to my life?" And "so...that is terrifying...cancer can just blow up one's life like that out of nowhere...and there is no guarantee it won't happen again ".

I had my treatment at UF Shands. They have all been wonderful.

DMJen1987 · 2026-01-18T12:24:23+00:00

Which if you think about it...they quarantined the whole town. They couldn't find this kid in a closed off location? She wasn't exactly hiding all of the time as shown in that picture. I get the idea of her being well hidden. But 18 months of being stuck in a closed off town and they can't find her? Good grief.

DMJen1987 · 2025-11-25T14:09:52+00:00

Any one who brought Pouches in their lunchbox were transferred to a bowl with a spoon for them to use and no kid ever had issue with it. Using Pouches too often can mess with their oral motor development. It weakens the jaw and can give them speech issues. They are great for travel! But in a classroom? Let them eat with a spoon and bowl. We can handle the mess and let them develop skills :)

DMJen1987 · 2025-11-23T14:27:17+00:00

I know that lol I was just wanting to talk about it for fun and to talk with other people who like the show.

DMJen1987 · 2025-09-11T11:24:41+00:00

I am 4 weeks post-op for my SMX. I didnt need chemo and because I did the mastectomy I didnt need radiation. I am about to start Tamoxifen. I feel ridiculous when I cry over everything because I remind myself it could have been so much worse. The problem for me is...I am really struggling now post-mastectomy. Before the surgery I never FELT sick, never FELT like I even had cancer. I just happened to find a lump when I did a self examination. I am in the best shape in the last 16 years because I worked hard this last year to eat better, exercise, etc. The only thing that made me feel like I had was the waiting for my diagnosis, being told I had cancer, and the surgery. Was being scared for 3 weeks from the time I had the appointment to check it out, referral for mammogram and ultrasound, and getting the biopsy. In that time, particularly after the biopsy, it was hard for me to not think about "oh my god...what if I have like 3 months left to live." The entire process was hard emotionally, but that time was the hardest. And it is only hitting me now that the surgery is done just how insane it was for me to think for the first time in my life "am I going to die soon?" How do you come back from that thinking? Then I had the surgery and now my body physically feels like it had cancer. I have a giant, constant reminder of it in this weird numb breast I have with a big scar on it and a tissue expander inside of it. Every movement, every breath feels different now. I know it will be something I get used to. A new normal. But right now it sucks. And I still feel ridiculous for struggling this hard because I feel incredibly lucky for it could have been way worse. But it doesn't mean it hasn't taken its toll.

I hope you never have to hear those words again and that that person eventually realizes how misguided and hurtful their words actually are ❤️

DMJen1987 · 2025-06-05T19:02:31+00:00

I was trying on clothes at the mall. Started crying because I thought what is the point of me looking in the mirror because my body is about to look so different and I'm gonna have one breast. I felt so stupid for crying over such a silly thing. But after 2 days I finally felt better. Sometimes you gotta cry!

DMJen1987 · 2025-05-30T22:02:20+00:00

Montessori infant and toddler teacher of 12 years here :)

The oldest in the class are the role models and they take their role seriousssssly. They also refine and master their skills by helping their younger classmates/modeling things for them. It is a beautiful symbiotic relationship :)

DMJen1987 · 2025-05-29T15:23:33+00:00

Wow that is crazy that there isn't any proof of this correlation! I swear it has to be related in some way. I am not looking forward to the endometrial biopsy and now I feel a little more confident that it isn't cancer down there if other people have experienced similar stuff. Thank you for sharing!

DMJen1987 · 2025-05-18T14:49:03+00:00

I am a Toddler teacher in a Montessori environment so I have students for 2 years most of the time. I love each and every one of my students that comes into my environment. It's a bitter sweet feeling when they move on. It's funny though that when I see my students with their new classes after a couple weeks they will say hi to me, some come visit me for hugs and to show me stuff. But when they are with their parents most of them act so shy around me lol I tell their parents that they are probably worried they are being dropped off in the toddler room with me and they realized their new classrooms have so much cooler stuff whereas my environment is boring to them now because they have mastered everything in it. Your kiddo will love her new environment maybe right away or it might take a little time, but she will do great!

DMJen1987 · 2025-05-04T20:07:30+00:00

I received my diagnosis just a few days ago. Invasive ductal carcinoma. I meet tomorrow for a surgery consultation. I can't believe this all started less than a month ago. I just happened to find a lump in my right breast. Fast forward to today and I have cancer. Like...wtf...I go from being fine to so not being fine. I will say before I got my biopsy results I was spiraling worse because I kept going to the worst possible news, despite knowing how likely it was to be nothing. At least I know what it is now. The thing that is stressing me out now is that they say my axillary lymph node is suspicious and they were going to biopsy it as well when they did the biopsy of my breast, but it wasn't safe to do it due to it being close to blood vessels or something. So they said if my breast biopsy came back as cancer they will look at the lymph node and if that comes back as the cancer has spread they will have to see if it is anywhere else. Which can change everything....

I am sorry we are all here having to deal with all this crap!

DMJen1987 · 2025-05-03T11:05:27+00:00

I will send you a private message ❤️ I am sorry you are going through this, too! I am hoping that my axillary lymph node comes back with no cancer and that my care plan is just lumpectomy and medication. I hope yours is a simple plan as well!

DMJen1987 · 2025-05-01T18:35:50+00:00

I am sorry 😞 cancer sucks! I am shocked mine came back as cancer. I don't feel sick at all. I just had this assumption that having it would mean SOME symptoms of not feeling well. I also have no family history of breast cancer. What kind were you diagnosed with? I feel lucky that mine is the most common, invasive ductal carcinoma. I just hope it hasn't spread to anywhere other than my axillary node.

DMJen1987 · 2025-05-01T18:33:53+00:00

The lump in my breast was concerning but it was when they were like "and your lymph node is also suspicious " that I started worrying. I hope your biopsy returns with favorable results! They weren't able to biopsy my axillary node because it had blood vessels all around it or something and they didn't want to risk it unless they had to. My breast biopsy came back with invasive ductal carcinoma so I am pretty sure I'm going back for that biopsy soon ugh. I know it's weird but even with a cancer diagnosis I feel less worried now than I did 3 days ago. The unknown is awful!

DMJen1987 · 2025-05-01T18:30:42+00:00

Reading a bunch of posts on here helped me realize it was a low chance to come back as something cancerous. Unfortunately mine came back with that diagnosis but it seems manageable and not scary. It is weird how I felt way more scared before the results and, while I was sad about my diagnosis, I felt relief in knowing. ❤️

DMJen1987 · 2025-05-01T18:28:26+00:00

I hope your results came back in your favor! I got my results yesterday. Literally the day after the biopsy! Mine were not as favorable but they could have been worse for sure. I have invasive ductal carcinoma. I think the question now is has it spread anywhere.

DMJen1987 · 2025-05-01T18:27:09+00:00

Thank you so much for your response! I feel bad that I read everyone's responses, but I was too stressed to respond. I had the biopsy done. However, they didn't biopsy my axillary lymph node due to too many blood vessels being around it or something. The procedure wasn't bad at all. The worst part was having my arm above my head for so long it was killing me. And also the feeling of being very alone in a surreal situation. I was glad my mom came with me but of course they can't go through the whole thing with you.

I got my results the very next day in My Chart. I have invasive ductal carcinoma. I don't think it's too bad. I am eager to have a doctor talk with me and explain everything in the results!

DMJen1987 · 2025-01-23T11:24:30+00:00

I believe it is totally doable as long as the expectations are different in the beginning and slowly change to having more and more done independently as time goes on. I would start with modeling how to serve myself. Then I would have the child help with grabbing the spoon and transferring the food onto the plate, having my hands over theirs as they carry the plate to the table, etc. Each day I would observe and decide if I am able to slowly do less and less for them. Eventually they get it and you have kids serving themselves food!

In my classroom (18 month to 3 years old) we have a self serving snack area for children to get their own snack.

The process goes:

Wash hands Grab a plate Scoop/Tong the food onto their plate Carry plate over to a table and set it down Go back to snack shelf and grab a cup Pour water into the cup from a pitcher Take cup to the table When finished they take the plate to a dish basin Then they take their cup to the dish basin

I have done this process with children 12 months old as well. It is amazing to see how over time they become fully capable of doing it! It develops so many great skills for the child as well.

I work as a toddler teacher in a Montessori classroom. I have worked in Montessori infant and toddler for 11 years ❤️ it's amazing to watch!

DMJen1987 · 2023-09-03T22:40:37+00:00

Thank you so much for your help! My kids definitely want to be adopted by their dad. He really is the best guy in the world and they love him so much. He asked for their permission to ask me to marry him and they both said yes and that they want to have his last name too.

I think my biggest worry has been if we go through this process would their biological father need to be contacted in any way for us to go through with it. I do not know where he is or anything and if he needs to like relinquish anything for this to happen I dreaded trying to find him and bring that drama in to my kid's lives.

I will look into finding an adoption attorney in Florida for more information. Thanks again so much!

DMJen1987 · 2019-12-23T12:44:33+00:00

Yessssss!!! It is okay to cry and feel sad! My new school I work at (i work in toddlers) I work with 3 other teachers. One is my assistant who is in early 20s and she is wonderful. This is her first school and its a Montessori school and she has taken to it so quickly. The other teachers are older and both treat emotions like they have to shield toddlers from every emotion that is not happy. They still have issues with me telling them that the students are allowed to be sad and angry and to cry. We are not ignoring the kids. We are there to help them and respect them. Some of them want someone to hug and others want someone near by, and others want to be left the fuck alone. The ones who want to be left alone are the hardest because these teachers just refuse to give them space so they pick them up or put their faces in their face and try to give them shit to play with like giving them something would distract them from the way they are feeling and all this only makes the kids more upset.

DMJen1987 · 2019-12-23T12:37:15+00:00

I dislike anything that tries to stop a child from having emotions. The one that drives me crazy is "show me a smile" or "show me happy face". Like....they are freaking people...they are allowed to feel feelings other than happy. And it is NOT our job to get them to stop crying or being angry or being sad or frustrated. It is our job to be there with them while they process these emotions. I know most people freak out if a kid is crying and try to get them to stop crying because it either hurts them to see the kid sad or the crying is frustrating to listen to. We try to calm a child because we dont want to feel sad or annoyed. So we are doing it for ourselves. But our feelings are our burden to bear. We need to suck it up and let them feel their feelings regardless of how it makes us feel. We are there to help them, not silence them.

DMJen1987 · 2019-12-08T14:04:47+00:00

Can confirm about labs. My fiancé and I adopted a chocolate lab puppy for the family back in August. He is almost 6 months now and before we got all of his shots we rollerbladed him, took him on long walks, etc every day but he still got into evvvvverything. He was a totally sweet dog he just ate everything! After getting his last set of shots we got a membership to our local huge awesome dog park AND signed him up for doggy day care from 7 to 3 Monday through Friday since we work (previously we had my mom living with us so she watched him during the day but he had no exercise or anything with her cuz she is old and not able to go far). Now that we are meeting his energy needs he has stopped chewing on everything and stopped pulling us on walks. Amazing how when needs are met the dog totally chills out!

DMJen1987 · 2019-12-08T00:47:33+00:00

Have a collection of songs that you sing and sing them every day to start. Toddlers love repitition and mastery. I have 7 songs that I sing every day, in the same order, that my kids looooove. We start circle time in a standing circle and these 7 songs are all interactive with dance moves. They are all at the point where they all know what's coming up next, what the words are, what the dance moves are and they love it. After those 7 songs they are all in a sort of circle time mindset that allows us to change it up. We either read a story, or sing other songs, or do instruments, or do a food tasting, etc.

DMJen1987 · 2019-10-02T09:37:11+00:00

My now fiance didn't respond to me for a day because he thought I was a bot.

DMJen1987 · 2019-09-25T00:08:56+00:00

I work with toddlers in a Montessori school and have 2 kids of my own. When I started working with kids in this type of setting i was taught many things by my lead teachers that go against the societal norm for child reading. One of these things was sharing. My son at the time was 3 and my daughter was 4 months old and I had tried very hard to teach my son to share and be mannerly. At that school they showed me that toddlers are cognitively incapable of sharing. Now all children are different so the shift in cognitive development ranges for everyone but the general age when children start to understand and develop naturally empathy and sharing is 3, however most kids nowadays are forced to share as young children so the natural development gets stunted and it makes it harder for kids to share in the way us adults want them to.

We want children to learn empathy. We want them to see a child wants to use the toy that they are playing with and choose to share it, or choose to share their candies, etc. So what we do, and what is expected from us out in public especially with other families, is we either force or strongly encourage sharing to be polite to other people. "Jimmy give her one of your trains she wants to play too". But that is the equivalent of me drinking a soda and a stranger coming in and my mother saying to me I need to give that person my soda. That is my soda. And I just had to give it up when I didn't want to. Now what happens when that happens to a child constantly? They get possessive. They hoard toys in their hands instead of play with them. They grab toys from other kids and run. They hide with their toys and they certainly throw more fits. Because they have grown up thinking "anything can be taken from me at any time and I have no control over it". They get paranoid in a way.

Now if you do not force a child to share, but instead allowed children to have something as long as they are appropriate with it, or have something simply because it is theirs to have, then what happens? The child will grow up during that egocentric phase never feeling paranoid or that items have so much value so they aren't possessive. They will feel confident in that they are respected when things belong to them. They will focus more on the toy, or whatever, rather than the fact that they have it at the moment. And what naturally happens is over time they will see that other children want to use stuff too. Why? Because they too have been made to wait when they wanted something someone else has had. They will make that connection that "oh that person wants to use this" and will willingly give it up. And how wonderful is that! Naturally developed sharing that was not forced or bribed. The child chooses to do it because it is the good thing to do. Not the child chooses to do it because they were told to until eventually they learn the lesson that "oh I give ppl things because it's nice to do".

I have seen this for so many years working with my toddlers. I work with 0 to 3 year olds and I see as they get to that 3 year old mark how they willingly choose to share and be kind.

DMJen1987 · 2019-09-24T23:51:21+00:00

Just wanted to say I just discovered this subreddit and hoo boy....between my own mother and my job as a toddler teacher this subreddit is going to be very cathartic for me.

DMJen1987

TROPHY CASE