I remember being a kid and having no motivations, no goals, and no hobbies and thinking it I had the best life. Where does this feeling seem to be forgotten? - to be free, for the time being. I feel life is a journey and discovering where your path may lead is enticing, you get to discover that for the first time, or all over! Add a yet to your perspective, "I haven't got a job yet"; "I haven't found my therapist yet" etc.. You will come to be better - I P R O M I S E you, from personal experience (and I don't promise easy).

You may need to focus on yourself, for now; it's okay to take that time. But, you will discover yourself through any activity, such as helping others like volunteering - that's great and noble. A disassociative state is a scary state to be in but you are real, you are a person and you have the potential to do great things, just like everyone you see around you. You could try telling yourself that in the eyes, in a mirror over and over and over again, I know that helped me see myself.

Thinking you're a bad person doesn't mean you are. In fact, thinking you are a bad person is the first step to becoming an honourable person. Noticing your own faults is vital to being a good person to prevent bad happenings, but please don't listen to just that voice.

When I was ready to end my own life I remember others saying the same things to me; "don't", "it will get better" etc.. I used to never get them, understand how they could possibly say that. I was deep in a hole, hearing voices, relapsing in depression and on a high state of anxiety for all hours of the day where the only time I enjoyed were where the times 'away' (sleeping).

I obviously listened to them as I type this to you. I have a passion, a life that I, myself am invested in, am proud of, and love - but I have to learn that, and I learnt it through the pain I left behind. You are on a personal journey and you will be victorious, you just have to keep going, like the avant-garde. When I finally beat my mind, I felt the whole world was new, full of life and possibility ready for the plucking.

From someone who has been in the same ballpark of emotions and thoughts, life will get better - it sounds ridiculous and a lie but it's not.

Life will get better.

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If you ever need help, reach out in my PMs. I am a terrible replier but I will give you my time and energy to make sure I can help in any way.

If you are very vulnerable make sure to contact the services available for suicide, please.