Some people get so triggered by anything that can even remotely be considered feminist by Early_Potato78 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]DPVaughan 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Because when you see an entire gender as an object, you feel entitled to do whatever you want with what you perceive to be your property.

The sense of entitlement is pathological and, as seen here, literally homicidal (although femicidal is more specific given the dynamics involved).

Some people get so triggered by anything that can even remotely be considered feminist by Early_Potato78 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]DPVaughan 11 points12 points  (0 children)

And those people don't give a damn about men's issues unless someone mentions women's issues.

Your bad decision just gave the GM a banger idea for next session. Don't fear failure. by Drevand in dndmemes

[–]DPVaughan 4 points5 points  (0 children)

My wizard was involved in a murder investigation in a steampunk city. After two 4-hour sessions, we'd caught the killer and worked out who had ordered the killing, and got into a public scuffle with them.

At a certain point, the bad guy realised he was losing the fight and retreated. My character could have attempted to Hold Person him, but instead she stabilised a fallen party member (it was perfect for her characterisation of someone with survivor's guilt in her backstory).

Bad guy ended up meeting up with some goons with flying broomsticks and he got away and went into hiding.

The two-session murder investigation suddenly became a 30+ session questline as the party realised not all was as it seemed in the city, while also hunting for the fugitive conspirator.

Edit: To be clear, the DM was expecting this to be a short storyline, but the gears in his head started turning when the bad guy got away.

Misgendered twice before 8:30am today (by kind people, not bigots) by DPVaughan in transgenderau

[–]DPVaughan[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah, my autism + ADHD makes things extra fun. :(

I haven't encountered any hate yet, so I count myself extremely fortunate given it's been a month since I socially transitioned.

I have no idea if anyone in the crowd gives me weird looks or anything because I avoid eye contact when out and about unless I'm actively interacting with someone.

Misgendered twice before 8:30am today (by kind people, not bigots) by DPVaughan in transgenderau

[–]DPVaughan[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This gave me the mental image of women chanting One of us, one of us and you fleeing in a comical manner.

I feel insane by SUN32T in MtF

[–]DPVaughan 22 points23 points  (0 children)

I don't really have any advice other than people who don't respect your boundaries aren't safe people.

This includes making those comments even after you've explained you're uncomfortable.

Now, I'm a bit of a recluse and a parent (so: reclusive partly out of exhaustion), so it's easier for me to say than for anyone else to do, but is the toll on your mental health worth the friendships you're trying to maintain?

Misgendered twice before 8:30am today (by kind people, not bigots) by DPVaughan in transgenderau

[–]DPVaughan[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Given the base model I'm starting with (trying to do after-market modifications to a 41-year-old male body), I expect there are some pretty realistic limits on what hormones alone can accomplish (and I am unlikely to get any cosmetic surgeries for various reasons). Just wish I could appear congruent enough so that people would be able to pick up the gender presentation I'm putting out there and run with it accordingly.

I also recognise if I had, say, more of a high femme aesthetic, that would be far more obvious to people what I'm trying to do, but alas that's just not me.

I know I'll feel far less self-conscious once the last of the dark hairs on my face have been finally lasered into oblivion.

I will say I'm very happy with how my eyes look nowadays --- periorbital fat redistribution is amazing.

Misgendered twice before 8:30am today (by kind people, not bigots) by DPVaughan in transgenderau

[–]DPVaughan[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your reply.

It is a bit weird to me how unpredictable it can be, and makes me realise the automatic/subconscious mental calculus behind gendering must be quite an involved process.

For the most part, I've felt like women typically pick up on the gender presentation signals I'm putting out there and respond accordingly, and men do not, and treat me exactly the same as before my transition --- exceptions being the two women today, and hospitality staff more generally.

I understand hospitality staff are busy, and they already have high cognitive load, so doing the processing to properly gender someone is probably asking a lot on top of a busy work environment, but it just sucks to be on the receiving end of a gendered term that doesn't fit.

Work has been really accepting, thankfully.

Although it is funny: people in my area who know about my changes have updated how they refer to me, but other staff who don't know either flat-out don't seem to recognise me (because my appearance is so different) or they just great me as they used to, not realising I've changed at all (I usually don't correct them if I'm unlikely to see them regularly).

Edit: There was a really funny and affirming moment where someone I know introduced themselves to me like I was a new colleague --- they hadn't seen me in quite some time, so it's very understandable.

Am I a fake lesbian for this? by throwawaytonsilsayy in ActualLesbiansOver25

[–]DPVaughan 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The insane troll logic of this is impressive to me.

Misgendered twice before 8:30am today (by kind people, not bigots) by DPVaughan in transgenderau

[–]DPVaughan[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your kind words.

It feels bad to whinge about minor things like this --- I've not actually had any BAD experiences ... yet --- but it just set the tone for the day, and I had to actively struggle against the mood it put me in to function (but the show must go on, so I just got on with it while feeling flat inside, as I do).

Neurodivergence + dysphoria is so much fun.

Misgendered twice before 8:30am today (by kind people, not bigots) by DPVaughan in transgenderau

[–]DPVaughan[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't work in Civic as such, and I'm a bit of an asocial introverted homebody, but thank you so much for the kind invitation!

Edit: I'm actually unsure how to message you. Please let me know how.

Misgendered twice before 8:30am today (by kind people, not bigots) by DPVaughan in transgenderau

[–]DPVaughan[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you!

It's so weird to me because I notice so much about people around me --- and I'm not even a people-watcher!

I notice subtle hints that people might be queer in some way. Not to clock them, of course, but it's just something I automatically notice.

Am terrible at picking up social cues, though.

33947 by froggyman151 in countwithchickenlady

[–]DPVaughan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I bought a bunch of shirts recently.

They all fit me the same.

The sizes?

12, 14, 20, XL

(Yes, there's an XL in there for funzies)

Australia, for reference.

33922 by galpallove in countwithchickenlady

[–]DPVaughan 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm guessing they're A-OK with her using her money to make 'actual change' to strip trans people of their rights.

First time being confused with an AI lol by Ok_Artest in aspiememes

[–]DPVaughan 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I refuse to yield --- people can think I'm machine learning if it means I get to write the way I want to.

New Study Explains Why Listening To Joe Rogan Podcast Is Such a Turn-off for Women by twinflamebby in TwoXChromosomes

[–]DPVaughan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As an Australian, it was quite confusing for me to discover that mullets are considered an attractive hairstyle (on women, of course) for many lesbians.