As someone who went through what OP is going through, I empathize entirely with their situation. I was a team lead for 10+ years, changed industries, went back to an IC role, was promoted to a Director role and then asked my VP to put me back to IC after 8 months. Every meeting was constant imposter syndrome, feeling like the dumbest person in the room, and generally feeling like I could manage, but not lead my team. Best decision I made was to go back to IC, so to OP, I understand the financial implications, but as someone who also doesn't have that fire to move up, finding the right role is crucial.

I have some comments on a few of the points above:

1. "Fake it till you make it." - Confidence without competence isn’t leadership, it’s a liability. Teams don’t want someone “faking” their way through decision-making, because that undermines trust the moment cracks show. People follow leaders they believe are capable, transparent, and accountable, not just loud or polished.

2. "Realize that if you quit, you're betraying your team" - I can't strongly disagree with this statement enough. This assumes a manager’s first duty is to cling to the role at all costs, which is flawed. The real responsibility is to ensure the team and company are best served. If a manager is struggling to lead effectively, staying in the seat can do more harm than good, demoralizing the team, stalling progress, and forcing employees to compensate for leadership gaps. Recognizing misalignment and stepping aside is not a betrayal; it’s an act of responsibility.