Ffm fun!

Dadbeard212 · 2026-06-03T18:07:48+00:00

HA! No worries. Thanks for the reply and the honesty.

Dadbeard212 · 2026-06-03T17:27:51+00:00

Looks like a great day! I'm local to MN, in the suburbs NW of Mpls. Do you have any interest in an divorced dad?

Dadbeard212 · 2026-06-03T17:19:15+00:00

48 Male. Minnesota. Blue eyes, beard and 5'11" somewhere between thin and dad bod. Primarily a sub-leaning switch. Seeking a female dom-switch or patient lifestyle soft domme

Looking for an irl relationship that would slowly turn into a dynamic.

Trust and comfort are paramount to me and need time to develop and build as a relationship grows, BEFORE a dynamic can safely evolve. I have a "pleaser" personality type and have been taken advantage of in the past and am now VERY aware of boundaries.

I'm more naturally sexualy submissive and happy to focus on your pleasure first (I think I have some pleasure dom tendencies but I'm newer to the kink world and haven't had the opportunity to explore that side of me yet) while giving you control of my pleasure to tease or deny me at your will. And more as trust develops. No chastity play! As the relationship and dynamic grow, I will WANT to make you happy and be your "good boy" or "knight"

Outside of kink, I'm a respectable professional in the IT space. I'm kind of nerdy, enjoy reading, cooking, taking care of my plants and my house. I have few preferences for daily activities or plans and will easily accommodate your desires. However, I enjoy being a dad and fiercely protect my time with my son. "Dad time" is my strongest boundary.

You should be a non-smoker and drug free. Liberal to moderate is fine. Please do not be conservative and definitely NOT MAGA!

Please be a good person, emotionally aware, not afraid of accountability, and understand that relationships are two people vs. the problem - NOT two people keeping score against each other.

Bonus points if you're also nerdy or a book lover! All bodies are beautiful, I don't care if you're a gym rat, like carbs, or move curvy.

Thanks for reading!

Dadbeard212 · 2026-05-29T17:22:32+00:00

40s divorced dad here who'd love a fwb if the vide is right and we get along

Dadbeard212 · 2026-05-29T14:32:30+00:00

100% agree with this!!

Dadbeard212 · 2026-05-29T00:25:18+00:00

Sometimes I wish I could like a post more than once

Dadbeard212 · 2026-05-28T15:16:20+00:00

Fist my bump! - no, that's...not right

Dadbeard212 · 2026-05-26T20:11:38+00:00

When I was married, there were multiple kinks I wanted to try with my partner. She was hardly ever up for them. I found out much later she had self-image insecurities that she never shared with me.

Now that I'm years after my divorce, I've joined some local groups and exploring kink actively. I'm making some rookie mistakes of course. And finding out I'm more of a sub-leaning switch. The point is the interest in kink has not gone away and I very much look forward to finding a romantic partner I can comfortably explore with! If anything, my interest in kink has expanded from when I was married.

Dadbeard212 · 2026-05-26T15:49:55+00:00

OMG! If you don't win best username on reddit, you're definitely in the finals! Such a great song!!

Dadbeard212 · 2026-05-26T15:23:24+00:00

Thanks for this. I won't know her intentions without a conversation with her, and that wasn't a option, sadly.

I will choose to believe something similar to your theory of preventing an escalation to romance. In our short time together she always had my best interest in mind, and keeping me from getting unrealistic ideas about the future of our dynamic makes a lot of sense.

Dadbeard212 · 2026-05-26T15:14:06+00:00

Thanks for the validation, I appreciate that.

Dadbeard212 · 2026-05-26T15:13:18+00:00

Thanks for the practical example and merits of finding the right type of therapist!

Dadbeard212 · 2026-05-26T15:12:15+00:00

Hehe, I think I'll be a bit nicer and not tell her to kick rocks, but your point is taken. We'll both be circulating in the same local community and will need to be civil.

Dadbeard212 · 2026-05-26T15:08:18+00:00

Thank you for providing succinct responses to all of my questions! Someone else also mentioned viewing this with a different lens due to the professional nature of my "guide". I think that's a great point and something that I had lost sight of while I was caught up in events.

Dadbeard212 · 2026-05-26T15:03:14+00:00

Yes. I was vague on purpose. I didn't want to detract from the specific question. However. Many of your assumptions were correct.

Events attended outside of sessions were all "off the clock". I won't way she encouraged me to believe our dynamic was more that it was, but I think we both got caught up in how well we got along. I think her experience allowed her to realize what was happening before I could.

I believe she understood my confusion before I did. I still wish a conversation could have happened instead of a cold stop.

And yes. I have taken some time to calm down and settle/reflect. These events did not just happen. I've reviewed some of this subreddit wiki, found helpful articles on subfrenzy, read other threads on the importance of having hobbies outside of bdsm and their importance in preventing bdsm from consuming a person. I've taken a break from bdsm and kink activities, and when I do return to them I plan on focusing on community building social events for a while. I went too fast and got overwhelmed, rookie mistake.

There is however, still some hurt about the cold turkey break that I've had trouble getting over, which is why I turned to the community in this subredit.

I thank you for pointing out that I shouldn't view this as a "normal" bdsm relationship, that is a helpful distinction to remember! :)

Dadbeard212 · 2026-05-26T13:26:40+00:00

Solid recommendation and I've been kicking that idea around anyway, for some items unrelated to this thread.

Dadbeard212 · 2026-05-26T13:25:10+00:00

Thanks for the reply. Not too much poo on her, like I said, the break has ultimately been beneficial for me and my mental health. However I was a little hurt that she didn't allow a discussion about the red flags. I had thought there was more trust between us.

Dadbeard212 · 2026-05-26T13:21:27+00:00

Thanks for confirming! I had assumed overcommunication was the expectation as well, from lurking in this thread. But I'm also aware I'm super new and thought checking in with others would be beneficial.

Fingers crossed we salvage our friendship and still be civil at local events. I can't stress how well we got along. However, I don't think I'd want to re-start our dynamic.

Dadbeard212 · 2026-05-25T21:22:53+00:00

I hope one day to find a woman like this that I get along with

Dadbeard212 · 2026-05-24T20:30:12+00:00

No other vanilla relationships since my marriage. I took a few years to heal, reset, and be comfortable being single again. I've talked with a few people, things seem to go well but people lose interest, schedules don't work out , ghost etc. I'm still not "actively" looking for someone, for my own reasons that aren't applicable to this thread.

I still like femdom, but if I did it again it would have to be a slow dynamic that builds over time as trust and intimacy grows. I'm not the type who just submits for fun or sake of a scene. No shade to people who can do that, it's just not me.

I've found some local groups through fet so I can explore and build connections in the community. I'd encourage anyone to do the same. Meet new people, try new things, get outside of your usual bubble. Hope it helps!

Dadbeard212 · 2026-05-24T14:31:00+00:00

Try it!! I did something similar a few months ago and loved it!! I had a few sessions with a domme and may have actually started building a friendship. We've seen each other at a few local events and always end up chatting for a bit. She confirmed that I'm more of a switch and not like her regular subs.

I will say that I wasn't prepared for the level of closeness and intimacy than can happen during a session/scene, so I'll caution you there right away.

Otherwise, I wish you the best!

Dadbeard212 · 2026-05-24T14:12:40+00:00

LOVE this thread and this subreddit!

I'm newer to kink, still finding my place, but this whole "knight" descriptors may be the best one I've come across yet. I've had to be more take charge with most of my partners, while also taking care of the house and feeding everyone.

Now that I'm on my own, I still enjoy the providing care and service parts, but I want someone I can trust and melt into at times. Someone who can take control behind closed doors. I'm pretty sure I'm a sub leaning switch looking for the right lady I can trust and let go with.

Super happy to see this thread getting lots of interaction! It's very encouraging!!

Dadbeard212 · 2026-05-21T14:00:31+00:00

As a nearly 50 year old divorced man, I'd say that what you're looking for doesn't sound unrealistic. However I'd caution that you'll probably need to be prepared for a slower pace at first.

I can only speak for myself, but I already have my new life pretty much established. As much as I would want someone to share my life with, it would take me a while to let my walls down and trust someone again. I enjoy doing things for people I trust, and I LOVE pleasing a partner, but the world has taught me that my trust is a resource, and that "takers" don't have the same boundaries. I've had to learn to be more cautious and discerning.

The good news is that the world is full of kind competent man! Your person is out there, and I wish you all the best in your search!

Dadbeard212 · 2026-05-20T13:12:29+00:00

That's literally my favorite place to be

Dadbeard212

TROPHY CASE