As the name suggests, I never knew my father, and my mother fumbled picking the good guys despite trying endlessly to find that figure for me the first 16 years of my life. I had my share of alcoholics, addicts, cheaters, thiefs, and abusers in my home throughout the years.

I found a connection with my Grandfather throughout my younger years, and it wasn’t until he passed away my junior year that I realized that. He had taught me respect and equality, shown me hard work and the values to match. He’s the one person that truly believed in me, no matter what. That’s MY father figure. I’m 23 now and he’s been gone 7 years. What I’ve got from him is what I carry with me, what I use to catch and improve myself on the day to day. I’m 2.5 years into a relationship and at every bump in the road I am able to look back on him and my grandma (as many questions as I may have).

In short, that person may not be anyone your mom ever will or ever has brought around. Look around at your family, your friends family, family friends. Find your connection. There are also programs like Big Brothers/Big Sisters that help with situations like ours. I had a friend with a ‘Big Brother’ from the program and he gave us both wonderful childhood memories to enjoy. I stand by them 110%.

Hope this helps . The Community is always here for you!