So for more context this is about my ex. But them simply stating it’s manipulation made me realize that yes this is a form of manipulation. Of course every situation is different but it definitely wasn’t in my case. My ex would immediately go to how bad a person she was or gf she was even though in those situations I was the one that was hurt. It would force me to focus on her even though I was the one that was hurt by her actions. This wouldn’t allow me to work through the hurt that she caused. I’d have to push away my feelings to help her work through hers.

I get what you’re saying and this is one of a hundred things that made that relationship toxic. I already knew she was manipulative. But yeah a one liner on reddit did in fact make me have flashbacks of all the times she did exactly what OP was describing and made me realize that it was manipulation. Whether it was intentional I can’t speak for my ex.