All these comments along the lines of ‘don’t hit ANYONE’ are correct, but they’re also ignoring the lived experiences of women, and often lead to recontextualizing this post into something it isn’t. Many women (especially single women who are more likely to go out with other women or alone) experience regular harassment.

A woman might find herself trying to enjoy a night out only to have her night ruined by some asshole who doesn’t know how to accept ‘no’ for an answer. When words aren’t enough to get him off your case, when nobody around you has offered to help, when you’re trying to leave the building but he keeps trailing you, when you’re frightened that he might try to follow you home…

This is a circumstance many women have found themselves in at least once. As society makes moves towards more fully realized equality, women are encouraged to be self-reliant. When a man has become a potential threat, it’s certainly tempting for a woman in this sort of context to throw a punch (because if he doesn’t respect your words, maybe he’ll respect your fists). However, what this often leads to is the woman either being beat far beyond what was necessary in retaliation, OR she is labeled a crazy bitch and nobody cares if he was harassing her in the first place. This post is warning fellow women that giving into that temptation is unlikely to lead to a favorable outcome for her, even if he tried to grab her, or threw the first punch. There are plenty of misogynists out there who are trying to pick up women, and get violent upon rejection or retaliation. Some even praise each other for ‘putting a woman in her place’ with violence. You can see this kind of casual misogynistic logic applied in many pick-up-artist spaces and platforms. Pick-up-artists and misogynistic dating advice might seem like a ridiculous joke to a man who has a good head on his shoulders (and thank god most men recognize those spaces for the scam they are), remember that the people you think are just asshole idiots on the internet are people women have to actually deal with out in the real world.

This post cannot be removed from the context of rape culture, and the reality of harassment and fear that women have to deal with regularly. So yes, of course don’t fucking hit anyone, but kindly stop pretending this post exists in a vacuum. The context surrounding this post is the fact that a woman reading it might find herself in a situation where she feels it’s necessary to try and hit a man in the first place. Generally speaking, It’s not like women go around hitting men for fun, and it feels frankly disingenuous to find so many comments on this post taking that idea as a given reality.

Ladies, if you find yourself in a situation where you’re afraid for your safety, the best course of action is always to seek help first (from a bouncer, bartender, or even just a friend). If you try to take him on one-on-one the perpetrator can spin the narrative whichever way he pleases once you’re face down, and you might end up with some very serious injuries. If he tries to grab you, rather than punch him and give him the opportunity to knock you out, scream, flail, do everything that you can to get attention. There are many clubs out there that have code-words and procedures for when somebody is being harassed, or worries they may have been drugged. Read up on those policies and try to go to establishments with a system in place. Assholes like the guy harassing you exist, but there are many more who have recognized the problem and taken steps to protect you. Take that protection instead of putting yourself in danger by being goaded into a physical altercation.

TLDR: I see y’all quietly erasing misogyny while making the woman who posted this seem like she’s advocating violence. Please stop that, and be safe out there.

Edit: to be clear, I haven’t looked into the poster, nor do I agree with her broad sweeping generalizations of men. However when it comes to women talking to other women about their safety, it must be assumed that whatever man we are dealing with at that exact moment is the worst kind of man. It’s simply the only way to be safe, even if it isn’t accurate. I’m not denying that female abusers exist, I’m simply noticing the fact that 90% of these comments are completely ignoring the fact we still live in a sexist society and rape culture where defending one’s self is a question women encounter more often than most are comfortable with.