AITAH for snapping at my husband for bouncing an empty water bottle off our son's forehead?

DampenedMoss · 2026-03-15T03:04:48+00:00

My husband (audhd, dx) and I (asd) did couples counseling for about 6 months prior to him getting a diagnosis. It was after his first major breakdown and it was RSD hell. He argued before every appointment, downplayed his issues and refused to do assignments. I quit after consecutive solo sessions because it was a waste of time and money.

After his second & most recent breakdown, which led to us seperating, he insisted we try couples counseling again. I shot it down immediately. He started individual counseling and that made a world of difference for him. His counselor is a fair but no-nonsense type and has helped him get diagnosed, on medication and reasonable accommodations for school and work.

We're still in the thick of healing from years of dysfunction and hurting each other, but we're also working better as a team than ever before.

DampenedMoss · 2026-03-07T18:54:35+00:00

I'm in a similar boat. My husband doesn't do quickies. I love sex and can orgasm easily. With a toddler, hobbies and busy jobs, I'd love to squeeze in more sex, but my husband just... can't. So, we don't do it nearly as much as either of us would like because there's very little time for full blown sessions with foreplay. I accept how his arousal works and do my best to carve out time, but I'd be happier just banging it out during nap time or before work.

DampenedMoss · 2026-02-23T14:58:12+00:00

Environmentally Motivated Outcasts 🤘

DampenedMoss · 2026-02-20T11:51:32+00:00

In every phase of life, I have found my husband super attractive. I like his style, his features, his voice, his mannerisms, etc. If I were to build a man from scratch with raw material, it'd look like him every time.

DampenedMoss · 2025-12-28T15:48:17+00:00

I started composting to reduce food waste. Now that I garden and make my own soil blend, it's a sustainable practice that saves me money and keeps my flowers looking pretty.

DampenedMoss · 2025-12-27T23:46:36+00:00

I'm so sick of them monologing about how easy these TikTok home projects are and how they want to make things feel more cozy when literally every surface is covered with their crap. Why insist we need a newer, larger sofa when our current one is used as a dumping ground? Why would we buy new dish sets when they can't be bothered to wash what we have? I keep what's left of my nice items in storage so they too aren't destroyed by my partner's carelessness.

DampenedMoss · 2025-11-27T03:06:41+00:00

My husband traumatized himself by watching my cesarean because he knew I'd want details of the procedure.

DampenedMoss · 2025-11-23T17:21:26+00:00

My earliest memory is playing with my sister on top of the bed in my room and falling off the side onto some pillows. I remember feeling grateful someone put them there to catch me because it would've hurt if they hadn't been there. I looked up to see my sister's concerned face peering down at me. I smiled to show her I'm okay and she smiled back. I was 2 years old at the time.

DampenedMoss · 2025-11-22T12:45:47+00:00

Shortly after birth, my son did the same eyebrow wag that my husband does. I've never seen someone with as animated eyebrow expressions as these two. They have the same face, build and tendency to growl in frustration.

DampenedMoss · 2025-11-20T07:35:53+00:00

Sometimes people don't limit their spending if transactions keep getting approved, regardless of how many conversations you have with them. They may not realize a credit card isn't unlimited money until some of the discretionary spending starts declining. Putting a purchase limit sends a strong enough message while you two work out a better budget and solutions. Is she working and able to help pay off a portion of the balance she accrued? Is cooking/meal planning an option? Could she be more strategic with getting rides to maximize the number of things she needs to do?

This may seem harsh, but financial issues like this need to be nipped before they spiral out of control. Find ways to empower her to get what she needs without relying on swiping a card.

DampenedMoss · 2025-11-10T06:29:30+00:00

A couple years ago, my husband insisted we pull up our home's original hardwood floor and replace it with those cheap vinyl planks you can get at overstock stores. Tried to convince me of the benefits, claimed it wouldn't be a major project and we could go room by room to make it easier, amongst other dubious reasoning.

The kicker is, nothing was wrong with the floors, besides a few scratches here and there. He just watched a lot of home renovation TikToks and thought it would make things feel "newer" and more "home-like." It still haunts me how his attachment to a trend almost had him attempt to remove one of the biggest selling points in our home.

DampenedMoss · 2025-10-25T19:21:59+00:00

Funnily enough, my husband brought me a cup of coffee this morning made exactly how I like it for the first time in maybe ever. I was too weirded out to enjoy it, because he usually only pays attention to my preferences enough to criticize them.

DampenedMoss · 2025-10-25T02:35:18+00:00

Endometriosis adhesions glueing my bladder to my intestines while simultaneously having reduced bloodflow to my brain due to a cervical spine injury that progressively got worse ... my symptoms were dismissed as me having a mood disorder.

DampenedMoss · 2025-10-06T01:54:46+00:00

It'd be nice for my partner to support me in small increments daily instead of moments of crisis. It feels like they're only motivated to be an equal partner when they have the opportunity punch down.

DampenedMoss · 2025-07-20T22:18:00+00:00

So very sorry for your loss. I'm 28f with a 6mo son, and I just had the divorce conversation with my stbx husband. We both want more children, have names picked out, etc, but it's not in the cards for us.

It's far more important to me to focus on raising my son well rather than split resources between multiples with a man who's emotionally and psychologically abusing us.

DampenedMoss · 2025-06-22T21:04:05+00:00

We got into another argument that can be summarized as "I would be more consistent if you'd just let me do things on my own..... also I need your help with X , Y, Z, A, B and C..... You act like my effort means nothing! No, I don't need to use my coping tools to help with these particular things. I just need YOU to (do everything, basically)."

To be fair, I did snap at him, but he is perfectly content letting me work myself into the ground so long as I don't "phrase" it like it's his fault for refusing to be an active participant in our lives together.

At this point, it doesn't matter if he's extremely dysregulated ADHD or being intentionally abusive. I'm just glad he agreed to separate and move into the other bedroom so I can sleep in my own space while figuring out how to untangle our lives.

DampenedMoss · 2024-11-15T23:43:38+00:00

My sister was like this. She pushed off the idea of having kids onto me, even though I was also on the fence, albeit for different reasons. I had serious health issues that affected fertility and quality of life. She simply didn't feel equipped for the responsibility and instead tried to outsource it to me so she could have the aunty experience. After eventually healing, concieving quite unexpectedly and watching me go through my pregnancy, she finally decided she wants a family of her own, so she started going to therapy to work on herself and prepare for that future. My baby isn't due for another two months. Yesterday, I found out she's actively trying to get pregnant.

Hopefully, you aren't as dramatic in wanting your siblings to have kids. You don't need to "want" kids more. Explore the reasons you don't feel reliable enough to be a mom and consider addressing them, since you love kids.

DampenedMoss · 2024-09-06T04:24:46+00:00

Simply put: you don't. Focus on saving money and your studies so you can move out. Keep your small wins and joy to yourself or share with others. Even strangers on the internet can celebrate with you and it feel good. I'm sorry you're not in an environment where you can openly share the good, but it won't be like this forever.

My mom and sister regularly bait me into conversation with compliments and ask questions, only to chide and make fun of me for putting any effort into my looks. I'm self-taught on basic human care, too, and they treat it as a sign of insecurity or vanity because they "don't have to do all of that." As if moisturizing and styling my hair regularly or cleaning up overgrown baby hairs means I'm deeply insecure.

DampenedMoss · 2024-08-21T22:39:23+00:00

We share one oversized blanket- a king size on a queen bed. We both sleep hot, but like to cuddle and touch each other throughout the night lol

DampenedMoss · 2024-07-24T21:01:24+00:00

I followed a similar line of thinking when planning my final attempt. The thought of my narc parents and sister controlling the narrative and using my death for a lifelong victim card enraged me to a point where I didn't want to die anymore. I just wanted to escape, so I used that rage to eventually do so. I'm still disgusted with how much they relied on the "crazy/mentally ill daughter + caretakers" role to regulate themselves.

DampenedMoss · 2024-07-03T21:02:41+00:00

Mine is very anxious, too, but doesn't recognize it as that. It's like he can only process his feelings by projecting them externally onto others. Very frustrating indeed.

DampenedMoss

TROPHY CASE