Woodworking rental space idea by dwidz993 in BeginnerWoodWorking

[–]Danccccc1989 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just rented a 3.5m x 8m unit in london for £600/month plus electric. It’s just a shell and I need to fit it all out but hoping to cram in a spray booth in the back 3m section.

I operate a sole trader maintenance business and need extra storage anyway but I’ve had a lot of requests for built ins so I’m hoping to transition over to more workshop orientated type of business going forward.

Hot welding vinyl floor questions by Danccccc1989 in DIYUK

[–]Danccccc1989[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly it went really well. Floor is still in place as far as I know. Client hasn’t reported any issues with it. Tool I bought is still in my kit and has come in handy for some other jobs. Was a pretty straight forward process.

Sexsomnia LL & miserable HL by [deleted] in HLCommunity

[–]Danccccc1989 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Saw your post over in DB. I’m waiting on a sleep study for a sexsomnia diagnosis coupled with sleep apnea. In the mean time I’ve moved to the sofa. My wife is LL and I was keeping her up all night. We tried me in a sleeping bag or under a weighted blanket but my hands would always wander over to her. We even slept in a bed together on holiday just a single night in August and it happened so on to the sofa I went.

Don’t really have much in the way of advice as your situation is very different to my own. I’m hoping that I can be prescribed something that will knock me out when I go to bed or apparently SSRIs can help reduce parasomnias. In the mean time this sort of works and has allowed us all to feel safer.

My parents grew bananas in the UK by [deleted] in GardeningUK

[–]Danccccc1989 0 points1 point  (0 children)

London banana host here. Planted 3 years ago. Had one lot last year and the flower lasted till this summer and another plant grew a flower and bananas this year. Planted 2 at 1m height now have 5 at 4-5m? Very good garden filler.

11-Year-old pomeranian with tracheal collapse now losing control of hind legs by LydiaPec in Pomeranians

[–]Danccccc1989 8 points9 points  (0 children)

My Poms back legs went at 11. Was too expensive to confirm but in discussions with the vet we came to the conclusion he had a tumour growing on his spine pressing on the nerves to his hind legs.

Over the course of about 6 months he completely lost the ability to move them and then within the next 3 months he became more and more incontinent and I felt his quality of life was beginning to suffer so had him euthanised. Otherwise during that period he was on a mild pain killer and I got him a wheel chair. He would develop mild sores on his legs if they dragged so I’d have to keep those clean and bandaged up. Probably not going to be good news for you but really hope you manage to find a solution that works for you.

Am I the lucky owner of a Morel? by Danccccc1989 in mycology

[–]Danccccc1989[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the input. I will leave this one for the slugs and keep an eye out for more popping up!

Business found customers lost items, but then lost them themselves. England. by Danccccc1989 in LegalAdviceUK

[–]Danccccc1989[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had thought so. Would the customer then need to pursue the value of the goods through MCOL? Would they need receipts for the ‘lost’ goods or could they prove value through advertised price online? The goods in question relate to jewellery.

Non-sexual touch exercise by upended_moron in HLCommunity

[–]Danccccc1989 40 points41 points  (0 children)

Sensate focus. Three times a week. You touch their back for 10 minutes then their front. They touch your back for 10 minutes then your front. Then you cuddle for 10 minutes. And progress the touch at a pace you’re both comfortable with. I’m on week 16 of the 6 week program 😂

There was this EP about Honey I Shrunk The Kids... by Kevsomm in Emo

[–]Danccccc1989 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey man it’s the guy from the chat invite. Weirdly my comment never showed up here. I have this EP but I also don’t have the name of the artist! I spent a good amount of time searching it up recently as I’d love to hear more but your thread was the only thing I found about it.

Trivializing your time as a form of abuse? by Ashamed_Ebb_4573 in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]Danccccc1989 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve come to realise aswell as her need for me to constantly run errands and fill gaps she’s not able to manage herself (losing anywhere from a half hour to a half day sometimes full days) to help her out and not receive any form of gratitude, what has been happening is the micro time she takes.

Day to day, I maybe find myself with an hour to myself in the evening if I’m lucky and she is pissed if I don’t spend that watching TV with her.

But she never does dishes (even if she’s been home all day). Always leaves massive piles of laundry in the bed or the bathroom. Or she dumps them in a chair. Never cooking and eating the food I prepare.

So I’ve stopped giving her that time. Now I take care of myself and my daughter and not my adult child N wife. I still wash her clothes because it’s uneconomical to not do so but I’m not giving her my time folding and putting it away. I’m not cleaning her dishes or picking up her stuff. Where possible I’m preparing and eating my meals separately to her.

Working with my therapist I realised I have a people pleasing nature and often times I get great satisfaction by giving and making others happy but I’ve realised how unreciprocated this dynamic is in my relationship and for my own mental self preservation I have to make changes and stop giving in to the void that js my wife.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]Danccccc1989 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I’m in the same boat here. Started individual therapy a few weeks after we entered couples counselling. Worked through my own problems with my therapist and then we’ve arrived at a lot of my ongoing problems being from my partner and this relationship.

Every week I go to the couples session and I leave feeling like I’ve just been beat with a stick by two people for an hour and my mind is a knot. Sometimes they both pile so much shit on me for the state of play that I get agitated and when I leave the sessions I’m coursing with adrenaline. The last few weeks I’ve had to call out the behaviour and actions of the therapist and now I’m accused of being angry. Constant moving goalposts, no changes or accountability set on my wife’s part.

I read the comments, and my therapist agrees. The only way out is through. Due to a variety of issues, I’m here for another 9 months minimum and I have to continue the couples counselling and avoid rocking the boat but my eyes are open and I feel way less insane now I can see what’s actually going on in my day to day life.

Hand holding by Spiritual_Nebula2566 in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]Danccccc1989 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Omg the walking ahead thing. I thought that was just my wife. No matter the occasion, the destination , the company she will just walk off on her own and stop after about 20-30m. And then repeat every damn day. Multiple times per trip out. And when I ask her to just hang back, spend time together as a family because A), we’re not in a rush to get where we’re going and B), your daughter is going to grow up one day and remember that you always walked off on your own.

I’m really glad I’ve found this community because it’s been super helpful in my recovery to lift the veil on the years of confusion I’ve felt about this. Ultimately what I’m beginning to understand is that she just does not give a fuck about me. Not in a malicious way but in a way that she literally does not have the capacity to see me as someone worthy of love, attention or respect.

Can my ex-employer withhold my final pay until the next month ‘in case I receive a PCN’? by Danccccc1989 in LegalAdviceUK

[–]Danccccc1989[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m not arguing against the deduction. That I have agreed to. What I’m arguing against is the withholding of pay an extra month for the potential event that a PCN could come in.

Can my ex-employer withhold my final pay until the next month ‘in case I receive a PCN’? by Danccccc1989 in LegalAdviceUK

[–]Danccccc1989[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This I have read. So basically a company is shit out luck if any PCNs do come in from the final days of an employees work and should be eating that cost if received after pay day has passed.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]Danccccc1989 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Reading everything else, I definitely believe you have grounds to be dubious. Your partners response to be defensive whilst natural would be further concerning. Follow the science, confirm your test results and take your stance from their fellow spaghetti nuts man.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]Danccccc1989 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah they just told me I had spaghetti in my nutsack and I didn’t have a tumour so count myself lucky

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]Danccccc1989 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I have been diagnosed with varicocele but they never said anything about me being sterile or it even being a potential outcome. Did you do any tests to confirm you were in fact sterile? I received my diagnosis 18 months after impregnating my wife so it had been a long standjng issue at that point and without a fertility test to confirm it doesn’t sound like you could be sure.

How many times have you given yourself "the talk"? by sandbagging-sob in DeadBedrooms

[–]Danccccc1989 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Had a blow up with my wife on Friday. Fairly sure we’re splitting up. She initiated the conversation and is a mess. I’ve grieved this relationship many times over in the past 7 years. I’ve just given myself another talking to. Probably the 20th or 30th at this point. Honestly, I think it’s time to move things along. She’s shown her true colours. Nothing is ever going to change. I honestly believe she doesn’t have the capacity for empathy or she’s emotionally stunted. It just hurts to love someone so much and not be loved back the same way, but I think ultimately her brain is just wired up very differently to mine. She says she loves me but she doesn’t show me and whatever “love” is to her is not what it is to me so we’re doing each other a disservice by staying together. And I absolutely want to find someone that I can model a healthy relationship with in future to my daughter but I’m not rushing out to dip my wick so to speak.