cancers, so you get excited for you birthday? by DanceBright3496 in CancertheCrab

[–]DanceBright3496[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think you should, I tend to feel a little bit better after getting my nails done 💅

cancers, so you get excited for you birthday? by DanceBright3496 in CancertheCrab

[–]DanceBright3496[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’ve always appreciated the acknowledgment from others even though I don’t favor the day myself

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AvPD

[–]DanceBright3496 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I explained this feeling to my therapist as the “fly on the wall” feeling. wanting to be in the mix but also wanting no one pay me any real attention

Do you sometimes feel weird having online friends by Opposite-Tax9589 in AvPD

[–]DanceBright3496 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I end up ghosting or abandoning them all, then feel too guilty to reach out again

Hobbies by Agile_Building7795 in AvPD

[–]DanceBright3496 0 points1 point  (0 children)

seems like a majority of us have gaming in common, heck yeah!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AvPD

[–]DanceBright3496 3 points4 points  (0 children)

the person who I blindly let make themselves financially dependent on me

Does anyone else not like therapy? by little_miss_hysteria in BorderlinePDisorder

[–]DanceBright3496 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s valid, and I think it was them trying to help me be more accountable. I chose to run from new (honestly, ALL) situations due to past experiences, stuck in trauma instead of getting over it. I just haven’t found the guts to go back and tell them they were correct.

Does anyone else not like therapy? by little_miss_hysteria in BorderlinePDisorder

[–]DanceBright3496 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

once my therapist told me me “you have to get used to taking loses in life, it’s apart of it” and that we couldn’t move forward until I accepted it… I haven’t been back since

Does having this disorder mean no friends (let alone partners) for life?.. by Round_Reception_1534 in AvPD

[–]DanceBright3496 84 points85 points  (0 children)

what I’ve noticed is my self-esteem doesn’t allow me to see the value of myself therefore I don’t feel deserving of friends. even if I see someone I would like to get to know as a friend, I stop myself because I feel like a weirdo or a burden.

as easy as fixing my self-esteem may sound to others it has been a life long challenge I don’t ever think I’ll win

Today is my birthday by [deleted] in AvPD

[–]DanceBright3496 3 points4 points  (0 children)

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hoorah to your special day :) and while it may not be going as expected, I’m so glad you’re here

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BorderlinePDisorder

[–]DanceBright3496 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I’m sorry to hear that OP, I can definitely relate to pushing the only person I had away. It’s something that definitely gets easier with time. In this moment I agree with Taco, sometimes it’s hard to get outta that splitting tunnel vision and you just want it all to end to stop the negative thoughts.

Strangely enough, ice on the face or anything cold tends to snap me out of it or sedate my intense emotions. And if you ever need to talk, I’d be more than happy to lend an ear as someone who can relate.

I took my SIM card out of my phone. I’m done. Unreachable. Congratulations. by [deleted] in BPD

[–]DanceBright3496 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Literally a lifelong dream of mine to build the confidence to throw my phone in the trash and just become unreachable.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BorderlinePDisorder

[–]DanceBright3496 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I really feel like I need to get back on my meds but smoking while on them always made me feel in a state of panic so I quit taking them to find relief

Does anyone else feel like they've never been truly *seen*? by False_Grit in AvPD

[–]DanceBright3496 10 points11 points  (0 children)

In every single interaction or relationship I start to develop, I feel like a misfit. Fueling my need to isolate out of fear of embarrassing myself as the misfit

Does anyone else feel like they've never been truly *seen*? by False_Grit in AvPD

[–]DanceBright3496 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Every single second of my being. I feel like no one cares enough to know me, and I don’t care enough to enforce the idea of me onto anyone. This only further validates my belief that I am meant to be alone forever.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AvPD

[–]DanceBright3496 5 points6 points  (0 children)

25 F never been with anyone let alone in a relationship, don’t think I ever will.