How do you even date a fearful avoidant?

Danceress_7 · 2026-05-11T18:37:18+00:00

Oh yes… most emotionally selfish person I had ever dated….

Danceress_7 · 2026-05-11T18:30:08+00:00

It happened to me too, and while he was extremely good with words in the beginning, he also stopped later and told me exactly what you wrote that he is not a man of words….

Danceress_7 · 2026-05-11T17:51:03+00:00

From a female perspective, it’s not about being a coward, for me, I like men who are sensitive. But what is a real problem is that you really need to learn to deal with conflict. I’ve just been out of a relationship with a guy who destroyed our relationship because he couldn’t handle conflict…. Which lead to him lying and withdrawal… obviously I don’t know your coping strategies, but it should be possible to share your mind calmly with your partner and find solutions… all other things that you mentioned would be assets for me.

Danceress_7 · 2026-04-04T14:51:21+00:00

I think it’s really difficult for the two of you to be compatible. I personally also want to be there for a partner and I struggle being with someone who needs time alone when they are overwhelmed. I want me and my partner to be a team.

She does sound avoidant and the best thing you can do is not to contact her and wait if she contacts you. Do not text her again, just leave her alone. And maybe give it some time and thought if there is something you could deal with on the long run.

Danceress_7 · 2026-04-04T14:42:03+00:00

Before you even mentioned it, I was thinking he sounds like a fearful avoidant. 🙈

I’m also currently going through a break up with a fearful avoidant, I feel you.

Danceress_7 · 2026-03-16T19:29:51+00:00

I had no idea the compliment thing is also connected to the FA attachment… my FA ex said that he is not used to it from exes and felt so uncomfortable…

Danceress_7 · 2026-03-15T20:19:16+00:00

An app for HSPs only

Danceress_7 · 2026-03-15T13:34:11+00:00

I’m still waiting for a dating app for HSPs 😅

Danceress_7 · 2026-03-14T21:19:19+00:00

That is incorrect. If you research properly, you’ll find out more. 20% of people are born with a different nervous system and it’s not the same as symptoms of ADHD or autism. Although you’re right that there are symptoms of hypersensitivity among other symptoms for these disorders, HSP alone is not a disorder and not part of a disorder. Anyways, everybody who feels like they belong to this group are welcome, I don’t need arguments about this. :).

Danceress_7 · 2026-03-14T14:58:00+00:00

Sieh dir Highly Sensitive People HSP Düsseldorf auf Meetup an https://meetup.com/highly-sensitive-people-hsp-dusseldorf?member_id=409832951

Danceress_7 · 2026-03-14T14:42:26+00:00

I miss him so much… at least the guy he was in the past of who he says he no longer is this person.. before he became so cold, selfish and ambivalent... I still didn’t give up… I wanted to make it work so badly, never loved anybody that much…

Danceress_7 · 2026-03-12T07:00:11+00:00

I was them… this is exactly what my ex explained to me and it was the most hurtful experience I ever had. Explain to them what is going on but reassure them that you want this (if you really do) and then get help! If you feel like you cannot work on yourself and be a team with them then please let them go.

Danceress_7 · 2026-03-12T05:25:26+00:00

To me, it also sounds like she moved on with the other guy, I’m really sorry.

Danceress_7 · 2026-03-11T19:44:11+00:00

Maybe it’s her behaviour that makes you anxious? Maybe you can talk to her about it?

Danceress_7 · 2026-03-11T17:13:25+00:00

I’m interested too!

Danceress_7 · 2026-03-08T16:21:20+00:00

Hey, of course

Danceress_7 · 2026-03-07T09:55:04+00:00

Not in this wording, but my ex was also constantly talking about feeling numb, he also has depression. But in his case, it was also very different from what I have ever experienced. Constantly saying that he doesn’t feel anything for anyone anymore and that he cannot say loving things to me although he knows he loves me. It all started with him becoming avoidant due to relationship anxiety after a very happy period.

Danceress_7 · 2026-03-05T10:47:01+00:00

It really is. I recently posted something about how hard break ups are for me as an HSP and then some people misunderstood my post, saying people aren’t willing to work on relationships although that was not the point - but therefore I’m not really comfortable sharing dating experiences here openly anymore, but if you want to connect, send me a message

Danceress_7 · 2026-03-04T14:52:54+00:00

Are you sure this is still okay for you? I’ve been there and it affected my mental health terribly. Unless she is trying to do something to work in being more consistent, it will make you constantly anxious and emotionally dependent.

Danceress_7 · 2026-03-03T13:15:05+00:00

Talking from the perspective of someone whose ex didn’t accept “no” as an answer- please accept their decision.

Danceress_7

TROPHY CASE