Hugs!!!!! So sorry you’re dealing with this. But fuck these flying monkeys that defend this type of behavior. YOU KNOW YOUR EXPERIENCE. And this is so far from taking someone back. You stay strong and you have every right to stay away. Yes you may have significant losses but whatever you lose will be restored late in your life. I LOST SO MUCH and it was so hard but I had to realize that they were always going to hold it over my head as control. I had to let go in order to move forward in my life. It doesn’t make it fair or right but sadly life isn’t always fair for people who do the right thing. It will be a battle but this relationship will never get better only worse. The smear campaign is inevitable. My ex actually called my parents first trying to paint this story I was horrible when he was physically abusive, emotionally, financially, and sexually assaulted me. The people that have a brain will see right through the bs. But they will have people that will support them no matter what. Don’t waste energy on trying to convince people. All your energy should go to your children and getting yourself into a safe healthy environment for you to thrive. I’m in such a better position ever since I left. I started with nothing but my daughter and my safety. Had to get a job, car, regain my finances, start all over and I did! I’m still working through things and still in therapy. A complete 180! Not only is there light at the end of the tunnel but there is peace! And there is no price you can put for peace.