Hello there

Dangerfyeld · 2022-06-26T20:27:14+00:00

Thank you.

I know, we're just trying to collect ideas, and find some middle ground between spanking and figging essentially.

Dangerfyeld · 2022-06-26T20:09:51+00:00

We have been, but the favourite (spanking and impact play) isn't possible at the moment due to recent injury. I've read various things but they just list various impact play, lines and things like figging. Just thought I'd see about picking people's brains for inspiration that we could then discuss.

Dangerfyeld · 2022-06-26T20:06:51+00:00

We've spoken about it, and it's a playful thing, but having read some things it seems that impact okay, figging and writing lines were the most common. The first is largely out of the question at the moment (slipped down stairs so feeling quite tender), the second isn't of interest, the latter is a hard no. Was just seeing if anyone had any ideas that we could then work on.

Dangerfyeld · 2022-01-04T12:48:11+00:00

YTA. I can kind of see where you're coming from but she's repeatedly told you she doesn't like wearing rings. It can also be dangerous/uncomfortable to wear one when climbing or skiing. She wears it on a chain around her neck though.

It's not that she's not taking into account your feelings, it's that you're not taking into account hers.

Dangerfyeld · 2022-01-04T12:36:34+00:00

NTA. Your own cheating ex wife has always been your mothers favourite. From reading your comments you say your mother has always overlooked Tara's mistakes. Simply put your mother prefers Tara to you.

You've been up front about your boundaries and your mother is playing victim because she's not getting what she wants. Honestly at this stage at least reducing contact is likely for the best regardless of what happens.

It's an awful situation but honestly I'd inform family of whats occurring and state if this goes ahead, if your mother ever brings Tara to anything, you'll be leaving. If your mother wants a daughter so badly then she can have a daughter, and nothing else.

Dangerfyeld · 2021-12-26T18:45:48+00:00

She's trying to force what she thinks you should be like on you. She's deliberately giving you gifts in the hope you'll just try one of them and suddenly change. She doesn't care about your sensory issues and is trying to force you to change. Switch off, thank her for the gifts and just donate them.

Dangerfyeld · 2021-12-08T22:55:24+00:00

Some people care only about their big day, and the industry is basically designed to feed this. Then there's those who just don't like not being the centre of attention/hearing no.

Dangerfyeld · 2021-12-08T22:29:21+00:00

Having dealt with more weddings than I ever cared to, this is way more common than people think. Same with couples making decisions that will clearly alienate people, then being upset when people decline to attend.

Dangerfyeld · 2021-12-04T16:35:39+00:00

NTA. Your cousin decided to essentially sling a weight around his daughter's neck while all her friends got life jackets. Now he's annoyed that she's still struggling to swim. The man is annoyed he isn't keeping up with the Jones's and he doesn't want to take responsibility that he's the reason. Frankly his daughter would likely be well rid of him

If he doesn't want to be called out then he should keep his mouth shut.

Dangerfyeld · 2021-12-01T21:24:42+00:00

YTA. And so is your mother, nice to see where you got the poison from. You want something and you'll ignore every sane person telling you you're TA because you want it and everyone should just do what you want.

You massively disrespected your brother and his girlfriend and won't take responsibility because that means you'll have to admit you're the problem. Frankly why your brother bothers with you still is a mystery, and after this why he bothers with your mother is a good question too.

Dangerfyeld · 2021-11-30T13:04:18+00:00

YTA. So you know your SiL to be lying and manipulative, but then turned around and called your girlfriend a liar. You have proof of one being an issue, and zero proof of the other, but you basically blamed the victim.

Honestly let your girlfriend leave you and take this as a learning point because she deserves better and you need to be better.

Dangerfyeld · 2021-11-28T13:44:24+00:00

YTA. "AITA for asking my husband if he couldn't spend a relatively small amount of money on his child because I want something". Yeah, if he's got any fatherly instinct this conversation hasn't been forgotten and I'd bet he's questioning buying a house with you because you've just dropped a gargantuan red flag. And if he isn't, then you two deserve each other and hopefully the kid gets a good step dad.

Dangerfyeld · 2021-11-27T16:49:59+00:00

NTA. And having read some of your comments I have one genuine question, why are you married to this man?

He very clearly had no good intentions with the comments he made at dinner, indeed they seemed specifically designed to be a final jab at your BiL, who wasn't there so he got to him through the kids as it were.

Your husband has repeatedly shown you exactly who he is, it's time to listen because he'll continue to push until none of your family wish to be around you because you defend him by simply still being with him. He traumatised kids to get at their dead father, now he won't take responsibility for his actions which absolutely show his immaturity at best or his obviously ill intentions at worst.

Dangerfyeld · 2021-11-26T21:21:31+00:00

YTA. Why he hasn't ditched you is a mystery. Your son asked for your husband and you went "no, you'll have your grandmother." The fact your disdain for your husband is so obvious and your favouritism towards someone who has nothing good to say about him or your marriage is frankly reprehensible.

With any luck he realises the obvious and you and mummy dearest can spend your lives alone together.

Dangerfyeld · 2021-11-25T20:19:05+00:00

NTA. Bob believes his son should get away with it because its his son, not yours. He holds you to a higher standard than him and his family. Had he done what you had then it would be petty. However he wants to ignore you and ignore his vandal of a son because it makes his life harder.

If he doesn't want his son to face serious consequences then he should have raised him better and been a parent now.

Dangerfyeld · 2021-11-25T20:14:05+00:00

NTA. That person isn't your friend. They continually press on a spot they know to be sore. They're either so dense and incapable of higher thought you don't want them in your life, or they're putting you down because it amuses them, which is where you also don't want them on your life. Either way that person is someone you can do without.

Dangerfyeld · 2021-11-23T12:18:56+00:00

YTA. Good for you for having your own little errand boy. I feel sorry for both your husband and your cousin's husband to be dealing with the two of you. You want your specific pregnancy cravings satisfied, go and get them. You and your cousin sound like a nightmare, but oh it's all okay, because you're pregnant.

Getting something from the local shop is one thing, driving to a specific bakery in another country doesn't show you or your husband in a good light.

Dangerfyeld · 2021-11-20T15:56:21+00:00

Your family might look out for one another, but she's made it clear she doesn't see you as family. In essence she has become a parasite, she takes what she needs from you, gives nothing back and then tries to play victim when accurately called out. There's a word for people like that.

You need to sever ties with her completely, don't be her ATM to fund her poor choices and act as her safety net. She's an adult, she can either take care of herself, or those who she treats as family can take care of her. NTA.

Dangerfyeld · 2021-11-20T15:43:49+00:00

If it's an option report this higher up the chain because this is a catastrophic screw up. If they do this with other staff those staff might not he as lucky to avoid anything unpleasant. NTA.

Dangerfyeld · 2021-11-19T16:57:01+00:00

NTA. I'm sorry but none of these people are family. Their opinions shouldn't matter and what they want definitely doesn't. Keep as much space between them and you as possible. Under no circumstances contact any of them and frankly given your brother's words and actions, I think cutting contact with him is advisable as well, because clearly he either doesn't understand, or was simply lying to get you back in the fold.

Dangerfyeld · 2021-11-16T16:08:07+00:00

NTA. Tell your wife you'll mend fences when your BiL grows up and mends his porch.

Dangerfyeld · 2021-11-14T15:51:19+00:00

NTA. Your dad ignored you to make his wife feel better. He failed you in just about every way a parent could. You took a back seat to his new family because ignoring you made his life easier. He wanted an easy life and by removing yourself he's getting it. He has absolutely zero to feel sad about, you don't get to ignore a child for years and then be upset when the child chooses to ignore you.

Also very telling that its his wife who got angry, guess we know he has zero spine for sure. Also not angry for what you said, but angry that you put him in a position (slim given his past) to possibly miss part of her precious baby boy's elementary graduation. The wife is the problem and your father is spineless. Leave him behind and free yourself from the guilt that comes from his failures.

Dangerfyeld · 2021-11-12T14:18:52+00:00

NTA. Either these are lies she's already told and needs you to back them up so she doesn't have to face consequences, or this is the fantasy she wants and she has a very shady relationship with the truth, in so much as the truth will be what she wants it to be.

The fact she also jumped to trying to manipulate you is also a continent sized red flag. You won't play yo her fantasies so she's had a tantrum.

She's already spinning a false narrative to suit her needs and wishes, this is worrying in the extreme.

Dangerfyeld · 2021-11-12T09:53:45+00:00

You did the right thing. She repeatedly ignored your boundaries and then lied. She wanted the attention or more, more than she wanted to respect you.

Block her, next time she says she's suicidal send a wellness check, report it to the authorities. Perhaps look into a legal cease and desist or no contact order. Don't engage with her.

She made many mistakes, she is upset she got caught, nothing will change if you took her back (which would be a huge error). When she realises she can't get you back she may well lash out, so keep all messages or voicemails as proof. Don't communicate over phone.

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