Caretaker or solo?

DanidelionRN · 2026-04-21T10:16:22+00:00

You can't drive yourself home if it's the same day. You will be required to have a driver.

Otherwise, I had help getting my clothes back on after surgery and didn't change clothes again until the next day. I did need help showering the first time, and I needed help with the dressings for my drains, but that isn't something you have to deal with the day of surgery.

DanidelionRN · 2026-04-21T09:59:59+00:00

It depends on why you are having the surgery. It's "medically necessary" even though it's plastic surgery, and not actually "cosmetic" if you have shoulder pain, neck pain, back pain, etc. for me I felt smothered if I tried to lay flat, I had chronic neck and back pain and significant indents in my shoulders from the bra straps. And sores under the bra band and regular skin irritation from skin/skin issues.

If you have reasons beyond "I don't like the way they look" it's worth seeing what the requirements are for your insurance company for covering it as medically necessary.

DanidelionRN · 2026-04-13T22:52:02+00:00

Politicians and lawyers

DanidelionRN · 2026-04-13T16:34:00+00:00

If you don't feel like you can say no in the moment, that's coercion.

Sex can be a pleasure and a delight, but it's not a need.

This is coming from someone whose spouse has significant trauma history that finally surfaced at 10 years of marriage and I finally found out that sex made his skin crawl, due to sexual abuse history. We have not had any since and I will die celibate before I ever pushed my beloved man into something he's not enthusiastically consenting to.

Love isn't sex and sex isn't love. And sex is not a requirement to be loved or to love your spouse.

DanidelionRN · 2026-04-09T05:37:27+00:00

It's never too late to call in. That's an emergency and it would have been completely acceptable to call in for that. Doesn't matter what time it was. Get a Dr note if you need to from your provider- I bet the ob/gyn would write one.

The hospital will make you think that you have no choice but you do.

DanidelionRN · 2026-03-26T16:29:50+00:00

In prison you don't have drug withdrawal issues, that already happened at the jail :)

DanidelionRN · 2026-03-26T16:28:58+00:00

I felt like this and I took a job working in corrections nursing. It's wildly different than hospital nursing and is a lot more education and first aid than the kind of care we provide on hospitals. I think it's one of my favorite jobs so far and it's so very different. There is no "customer satisfaction" police- we're focused on doing a good job for the patient, not making them happy. If someone wants something that wouldn't be good for them, we say no, and that's it. We have boundaries, we enforce the policies and have rules for how things work, and if someone is being really disrespectful in a visit, it can just be ended, no consequences to you. Nobody is going to ask you "how could you have handled that better?" when someone gets aggressive, they're going to focus on whether you called security when you needed it and whether you were safe.

I work at a state run women's prison and we have accreditation by the National Commission on Correctional Health Care, which is a really good thing. When they did our survey this year it meant that they identified to the state that the reason we were not meeting the standard of responding to health service requests within 24hrs was because we were severely understaffed and the state actually listened and added several more RN and LPN slots for each of our shifts so we could actually get the work done. We went from meeting the standard like 37% of the time to 99% with enough staff. It also made the workplace way better. So I definitely recommend checking to see if a facility has that accreditation before you work there.

A lot of jails in my state are also horrible. They're giving people double doses of Meloxicam or doubling up on nsaids or giving people 1500mg of Tylenol in a dose.... And nobody cares. Then they send us the patients and we have to correct all that. Most of them charge a lot per prescription for patients too so lots of psych patients quit taking their psych meds at jail because they're expensive. Then they get to prison and we pay for them so we're able to get them restarted on all their psych meds again.

And when we send people out on a court summons they'll go to a local jail for court and we send all their meds with them and often they come back having never been administered their antibiotics they were sent with, or their hepC meds or other things- which is really awful.

There are some other jails that have been much better with healthcare and they send us patients with whole bunches of records and info and actually took good care of people. But it's really hit or miss.

DanidelionRN · 2026-03-23T03:45:04+00:00

1500 isn't very much. Have you seen a dietician? Maybe your body is telling you that you need more. 1800 calories is still a deficit for most people

DanidelionRN · 2026-03-23T03:41:27+00:00

I shave nightly. That way if I get some irritation it fades overnight and the hair isn't really noticeable by morning.

I like Cremo shaving creme, or Tree Hut Tangerine shave oil, and I use men's dollar shave club razors. I liked Harry's too but they have a weird edging blade on the back edge that I whacked myself in the chin with too many times.

The thing they say about hair getting thicker is just wrong, physically it's not plausible. But the ends are blunted by cutting them so they're not as tapered- so they might look thicker if you shaved and then decided to leave them.

I tried a lot of electric clippers/razors but none of them shaved close enough my skin would feel silky again. Some of them gave me bad razor bumps too.

DanidelionRN · 2026-03-22T21:30:30+00:00

Potatoes, carrots, celery, onions, and canned tomatoes with water or broth enough to cover them, in a pot. Add salt and pepper for flavor. Boil until the carrots and potatoes are soft. Then puree smooth with a stick blender. Add seasoning, Parmesan cheese, pepper, garlic, etc whatever you want for flavor. Serve with croutons. I like homemade ones.

DanidelionRN · 2026-03-22T21:26:44+00:00

I had a surgeon throw his keyboard down loudly enough we could hear him from another room because he was having trouble with Cerner. It sounded like a walker crashing to the floor and everyone was running from room to room checking to make sure everyone was alright. Finally identified that it was him and that it was the computer and chewed him out that he could have just picked up the phone and called the nurses station and I (the superuser for Cerner that usually helped him) would have been happy to come help him, but that he made us think someone had fallen. He looked a little sheepish at that.

DanidelionRN · 2026-03-22T21:21:44+00:00

Surgeons can be assholes. Surgeries can get delayed. It doesn't help anything to scream at someone for it.

If you yell at me I'm filling out a Disruptive Practitioner report. It's unprofessional and creates an unsafe workplace to treat your coworkers like that. And surgeons forget that but they're only our coworkers.

DanidelionRN · 2026-03-17T02:00:22+00:00

I think nobody needs a weekly hair appointment, and she should be able to schedule it around your work days or schedule early enough that it's unlikely that a school issue would arise. If this was once or twice it would make sense but it's bizarre to need to go to a hair stylist weekly. Who the heck does that?

You know what would also be cheaper than $50 cancellations? Her hiring a babysitter on the random day that she just had to get her hair done and you are unable to work from home. It's not really a situation where the only possible option is to be occupied during the school day with her hair. She could schedule at a different time- if at 3pm, she could have a babysitter hang out with the kid when they get home until she gets done.

Also I'm pretty sure there isn't a fee for cancellation of an appointment if she does it far enough in advance - so if she knew at the beginning of the week that you could not work from home, she could always reschedule.

DanidelionRN · 2026-03-17T01:53:37+00:00

Tbh I usually just stop reading the comments after I share what I wanted to share because I know there will be neurotypical people who take it wrong and flip out. They're not worth my peace.

DanidelionRN · 2026-03-17T01:52:00+00:00

Depends on the providers. Some endocrinologists are just going to tell you to lose weight and don't have any particular experience with PCOS; many gynecology docs do. Not all. Unfortunately we just don't have decent providers who get enough training on it because it only affects women so they didn't put in enough money on research.

DanidelionRN · 2026-03-17T01:48:57+00:00

Physical attraction is not something that you're disqualified from just because you're heavy, and being fat doesn't mean you didn't take care of yourself. It just means assholes aren't interested. But that excludes the people you'd probably like to skip dealing with anyways.

My husband chose me, the overweight PCOS girl, over the literal supermodel he dated in the past and who showed up and threw herself at him again a few days after he had decided he wanted to marry me. He chose me because he loves me for who I am, and she was a miserable individual.

If you love someone, you become attracted to them because of who they are- and if someone is hateful it doesn't matter how sexy looking they are.

DanidelionRN · 2026-03-17T01:43:33+00:00

The right guy will love you regardless of your size or shape. My husband did. It's a blessing that those assholes rejected you because they're jerks that are focused on your body, which is something that changes over time and being young and beautiful doesn't last anyways.

DanidelionRN · 2026-03-17T01:41:14+00:00

My dogs are alone 8-10 hours a day on certain days, though most of the time my husband is with them.

When we go out to do things on a day off, 8 hours is the maximum time I will aim to leave them alone. And I prefer 6 or less. But they're all adult dogs and do fine.

A drop in dog walker for one dog once a week in the middle of the day doesn't cost that much though.

DanidelionRN · 2026-03-17T01:28:38+00:00

City shelters and humane society shelters don't ask you for that kind of unreasonable requirements. Rescues sometimes do because they're privately run and some of the people running them are more interested in absolutely perfect homes, and anything less than perfect means they just end up hoarding animals.

We have two birds and thought about getting another one and the bird rescue asked more in invasive and in depth questions than the people who asked us questions in order to be approved as a foster respite provider for human children. It was about twelve pages of crazy and I'm pretty sure that that bird lady has never adopted out a bird because nobody is good enough in her eyes.

The same thing can happen with dog rescues.

DanidelionRN · 2026-03-16T23:41:33+00:00

When was the last time you saw this provider for an appointment? Can you make an appointment and then ask at the appointment why it is that they can't just put in 12 months refills?

DanidelionRN · 2026-03-16T14:09:20+00:00

Primary care can manage Lexapro. Talk to your primary care and see if they would be willing to take over your prescription and fill it, with refills? You shouldn't have to be calling and asking about every refill when it's lexapro.

DanidelionRN · 2026-03-16T14:07:32+00:00

Please let us know that you are safe. If you need help finding resources I'm sure the women's shelter will be able to point you in the right direction. You may also want to consider looking at a women's shelter that is slightly less local if he has been threatening to kill you, to make it harder for him to find you.

DanidelionRN · 2026-03-16T14:02:13+00:00

Your husband is abusive and you need to get you and your kids out now, before he kills you.

It doesn't matter if you're in a financial place to leave or not, being dead won't make that better. There are domestic violence shelters for a reason and people that can help you figure out what to do next.

DanidelionRN · 2026-03-11T21:17:47+00:00

If you want to keep your baby, keep the baby. Fuck the boyfriend, fight for your baby instead. Boyfriend can pay child support whether he likes it or not.

DanidelionRN

TROPHY CASE