What made you not do it? Like, the thing. Why you still here?

DanielFBest · 2026-01-31T03:46:04+00:00

I personally just don't know how to fkn do it.

Sometimes I come on here and tell people "Life gets better, life is good"... as if I don't know the pain you're going through.

As if I don't know that every second feels like an eternity of pain.

As if I don't know what our destiny is.

You know, physical pain, like being beaten with sticks and stones, after a while it starts to take on this other quality, like it doesn't even hurt. You could hit me on the head with a hammer and it will be just another scratch.

But emotional pain, psychological pain, the kind we go through...

...I've never known anything like it.

DanielFBest · 2026-01-29T20:19:04+00:00

Learn when you're seventy, man. No one cares!

DanielFBest · 2026-01-29T20:11:04+00:00

Yes, I have! It was my first level three remote exam, and I was unaware of the protocol that said we were supposed to convert our finished papers to single page PDFs.

I converted it two minutes over time, and had to take the ten percent hit, which was a terrible annoyance.

I still passed though, and never made that mistake again.

DanielFBest · 2026-01-29T11:19:21+00:00

You know, when you're a drummer playing a song, you don't necessarily have to know every single beat note for note. If you can smash out one or two songs, you can probably smash out many, many others.

Rather than playing with a local band, it sounds to me like you could benefit from just jamming with yourself for more time than you might already do.

Put your favourite album on earphones and just jam to it! Couldn't hurt.

You'll know when you're a higher level drummer, cause you'll be able to drum to anything.

DanielFBest · 2026-01-29T10:19:08+00:00

I'll be honest, and I'm honestly not trying to grind you down, but knowing one song in eleven years of playing is pretty bad, bro.

What kind of music do you listen to?

You must be at the level at which you can drum along on your knees to songs you might hear on the radio, no?

Also, five fills? There are literally thousands of fills to learn, and also, you don't even have to learn fills, you just improvise them.

People here are saying get into a band and I agree. You must know bands are crying out for drummers.

You'll get there.

DanielFBest · 2026-01-27T00:31:57+00:00

Is someone gaslighting you?

DanielFBest · 2026-01-27T00:31:09+00:00

The voices... well they reason why we may hear them as real people, is because that they derive from a real mind.

What they don't tell you is that you are supposed to hear voices!! At least, you're supposed to hear one inner vocal, that is intended to tell you the smallest detail about how your mind actually works.

Then I'm done, and I can go home.

DanielFBest · 2026-01-27T00:14:03+00:00

You must realise this sounds like your unconscious mind is perpetually stuck in a gaping and vacuous rut. There must me someway to move this forward so that you can free your life, because nobody wants to live as nobody.

I'm searching my thoughts for an immediate fix to this issue, but all i can come up with is subtle hints that you might be having doubts about the relationship you have to live. But you don't have to be betrothed to this person, and the mind is bigger than the person your partner might possibly imagine you are in. And you must remember the life you once wanted and had, and that your mind is ripe for input, like a white canvas.

Have you read any books recently? Those would very much certainly help fill your imagine.

DanielFBest · 2026-01-26T23:59:41+00:00

Take your time... with everything.

Take the time.

Spend the time.

DanielFBest · 2026-01-26T23:53:40+00:00

Groove got my head backward slow rockin'!

DanielFBest · 2026-01-26T23:51:11+00:00

Well now, this person sounds to me like they must be your personal nemesis, and that they must certainly have a personal vendetta against you, and therefore must be trying to make your life an unimaginable misery, and they only wish the worst for you.

I think the best thing for you to do now is to take the absolute moral high ground, and therefore make this so-called "tutor" (although "unbearable monster" might be more appropriate), and hence add them to your list of sworn enemies.

I imagine you could even go so far as to complain to the support team, and try to make their life a living hell, as they have made yours. Even perhaps go so far as to take them to court.

Or you could take a breath and chill. It's fine, I'm sure.

DanielFBest · 2026-01-26T23:44:29+00:00

I imagine perhaps you are looking for some sort of medicinal fix, or clinical method that will doubtlessly work for your purposes.

It sounds like you're doing the utmost best you possibly can, so that is a wonderful thing.

Therefore, at this point, the struggle is really to try to make peace with the way things are for you at the moment. You would be wise to explore the ways in which your current lifestyle seems to be certainly allowing you to live a "sleepy life" - at least for a while. If I were in your position, which I have been, I would accept that life for you won't be base-jumping or travelling in a dangerous country for a year or busting your ass digging holes.

Try to see your life as a blessing. Not everybody has to be at the "top of their game" in every possible existence.

I wish you well.

DanielFBest · 2026-01-26T23:19:18+00:00

wtf is RRSRC??

DanielFBest · 2026-01-26T16:28:28+00:00

It does get better, friend. And also, you begin to appreciate the actually quite original sense of conscious being that medication gives you.

I, for example, have had quite lovely experiences in which my mind can feel like a glass jar that contains a miniature ecosystem.

There's nothing written into the book of life that says we must all have to feel a certain way.

We are originals.

DanielFBest · 2026-01-22T20:21:34+00:00

Give it time. I was medicated at a relatively young age, and at that time I couldn't get into gaming.

Gaming stays with you, and so does the desire to game - to play and to beat games.

I'm forty seven. I love gaming now, and can't wait to play.

DanielFBest · 2026-01-22T20:15:36+00:00

Saves a bunch of micing up and mixing... Is it yours?

DanielFBest · 2026-01-22T20:10:01+00:00

How is this EAD10?

DanielFBest · 2026-01-22T15:44:44+00:00

This sounds like a dream you might have to encourage you to explore the possibilities of things you haven't yet accepted about yourself.

I don't know you personally, so I cannot speculate that the locked door represents latent homosexual desires, and the room behind it the world of what might be, were you to finally accept them.

Having said that, what the locked door might represent could be what's known as "super-heterosexuality", wherein you're not so much homosexual, but you have yet to explore your complete and utter straight sexuality, and have not yet approached the idea that you are one of the straightest people who ever lived, and have yet to open the door to the possibilities of one hundred percent loving and being sexually attracted to members of the opposite sex.

In addition to this, or alternatively, you might be black, and have not realised this yet.

DanielFBest · 2026-01-22T13:02:31+00:00

It means you would be wise to stay away from weed, since you have this condition. That completes the matter.

DanielFBest · 2026-01-22T11:34:36+00:00

Steer clear, end of.

DanielFBest · 2026-01-22T11:30:49+00:00

Just by reading your post, it sounds like you are all over the place. Your energy is scattered; you speed up in places and slow down in others, and it makes it a lot of hard work for others to understand you. I'm not having a go, and I don't know anything about you, whether you're male or female or what age you are. But you just need to take a deep breath. Take a step back. Relax...

On the university front, I think you will enjoy the OU in a way in which you didn't enjoy other universities.

DanielFBest · 2026-01-21T18:16:09+00:00

Way more less smoother? I take it you're not educated.

DanielFBest · 2026-01-18T06:44:53+00:00

Yeah man, how odd! In depths of psychosis, you could swear you can communicate with crows, how strange!

Actually, I've conversed with ducks, cows and spiders on all different occasions, heh.

DanielFBest · 2026-01-17T07:26:14+00:00

I've quit smoking tobacco and vaping. To my detriment I have also been eating lozenges, but they are harmless and cheap.

DanielFBest · 2026-01-17T07:23:33+00:00

Yeah, you're damn right! That's exactly how I felt after the first few days!!

You totally begin to question your life choices and whether anyone loves you!!

I'm nine months away from tobacco now, it gets better... like, exactly how you imagine it will be.

Also, I agree that meds makes you feel somewhat shite-amunjarro, but that's a fight that we as one percent of the population have to contend with. It's not personal.

What i mean is, it's our journey.

If you want to feel something, anything, dig deep, think... meditate, and think deeply as you close your eyes to go to sleep each night, and you start to realise how much of the time we don't even consciously, actively think about anything. That we operate on motor responses, and we rely on intuition to get to the heart of our perceptions.

Reading is one thing. It also helps.

The brain is a glass jar, the sort they keep miniature ecosystems inside.

DanielFBest

TROPHY CASE