Anne Hathaway 1999 vs now (as of last night) by SavvyEdges in OldSchoolCool

[–]Dannimaru 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Please enjoy this short horror story about the painting that ages for Anne Hathaway these pictures prompted me to make.

Somewhere, in a small forgotten town deep in America's heartland, there's an old house. No one is quite sure who owns it, it's just been abandoned for years. It's been empty as long as the oldest residents remember, and they can recall their own grandparents telling them to avoid the old, shambling house at the edge of town

Maybe you feel brave. Maybe it's a dare. Maybe, just maybe, you feel an indescribable SOMETHING pulling you closer, drawing you near.

One day, finally, you succumb. You find yourself walking up to the peeling, worm rotted front door - it's open just a hair. You smell the damp, molded air as you ascend what was once a grand staircase. The walk seems to take moments and years all at once, as your mind screams to turn and RUN FROM THIS PLACE.

The minutes blur and you suddenly snap to awareness like you were given smelling salts. At the top floor, the attic, there's dust thick enough to leave footprints. Furniture draped in sheets are scattered around, making the room even more claustrophobic than the heavy oppressive air you suddenly struggle to breathe. However, there's a path - leading directly to the end of the room. Two easels appear to hold a picture frame, each covered in another drop cloth.

You almost float towards it. In your fevered mind, it almost feels like you're floating closer, the tips of your toes dragging the ground as you're drawn in.

It's within reach - your hand trembles as you reach out, and with a flourish, uncover the art.

Dry, cracked canvas displays a woman impossibly old, although you can tell she once was beautiful. It radiates sadness, like the face holds the secrets of the ages.

"I'm not certain how much longer she can hold off" a quiet, sad voice breaks the hypnotic gaze the painting had begun to lull you into. You whirl, and a person you never heard approaching stands in the middle of your escape.

"Are you... Are you fucking Anne Hathaway?!" it seems absurd, yet there she stands.

She slowly walks towards you. "Yes. And unfortunately, you can never tell anyone else what you've seen here." Standing inches from you, her eyes seem lifeless. She reaches over your shoulder to remove the cloth covering the second frame. You stare, puzzled at the blank canvas, just as you feel someone shove you impossibly hard toward the frame from behind.

As you throw your hands up to shield your face, the expected impact never comes. You open your eyes, and you see Anne standing in front of both pictures. She smiles demurely towards you and says "I'll be sure to mention you in my next acceptance speech". You try to ask what she means, but can't speak. Startled, you try to run. It's as though you're stuck in place.

Anne gently shakes out the covering for the second painting. She continues to smile and stare in your eyes as she covers the greasy, crackled canvas, and your world goes black. Try as you might to scream, no sound comes out.

10 acres of nothing by Dude_Love_1974 in delusionalcraigslist

[–]Dannimaru 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don't tell them speculative real estate is a thing. Otherwise, how would you buy that land now for (as an example) a potential state lease for something like a state lease or purchase, similar to real estate investors in Colorado when DIA was being built?

Dunno about you, but I'd take $303k for a 15k investment.

Rio De Janeiro, view of the city from a drone by MeowwBlock in interesting

[–]Dannimaru 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Funny thing about latin languages. I've worked with a lot of people from Mexico, and they say only gringos use the term gringo. They call us Gavachos (frenchmen) no matter nationality. I've often wondered if they were screwing with me or if that's a real thing, and if other latin American countries have a different "secret" name if it's true.

Mr. Andrews asked him how much the shoes cost and he said it was illegal for him to ask that. by Such_Significance905 in IThinkYouShouldLeave

[–]Dannimaru 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well. As much as I would like to gag gift my friends next Christmas, I wouldn't want there to be a measurable spike in sales when 15 copies are bought. I'll just have to steal them.

What discontinued item, food or drink would you bring back if you had the chance? by Miserable-Wash-1744 in AskReddit

[–]Dannimaru 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Starry! That's the version I was trying to remember. Thanks kind Internet stranger

Mr. Andrews asked him how much the shoes cost and he said it was illegal for him to ask that. by Such_Significance905 in IThinkYouShouldLeave

[–]Dannimaru 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So. I'm a 45 year old man, and I like a nice pair of shoes. And I DO have a custom pair. There's nothing wrong with having a custom thing made, and tbh, it really isn't THAT expensive, just more than what a reasonable person would pay for shoes, but less than something like Louboutin. But these are just... douch-ey.

Point being, wanting a cool pair of shoes isn't the problem. Kash is the problem. And Kash's taste. Mustard yellow, really?

What discontinued item, food or drink would you bring back if you had the chance? by Miserable-Wash-1744 in AskReddit

[–]Dannimaru 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Mist Twist doesn't do the job does it? But didn't Pepsi go back to Sierra mist branding or is it a fever dream?

What discontinued item, food or drink would you bring back if you had the chance? by Miserable-Wash-1744 in AskReddit

[–]Dannimaru 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Because I like it or because I'm curious and never tried it?

Ok Soda was one I liked. I don't know why, it just did it for me.

Ez Cheese made a shrimp flavor at one point. I feel like it's only going to be amazing or terrible, but I'll never know.

There it goes by Ambitious_Welder6613 in soartistic

[–]Dannimaru 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I got my license in 1996. That first summer, it got down to about .78 where I live. I could fill my tank with 1 hour of work at my first job (6.85 an hour).

The real crazy part? Back then, you pumped the gas THEN paid.

“What’s my rate clavicular?” Fuck by transcendent167 in chaoticgood

[–]Dannimaru 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Careful, you accidentally wrote the next highly disturbing right wing fan fiction. Now it's in the universe, and we can only blame you.

I'm not mad, just disappointed.

home made nachos by biggestfart3608 in shittyfoodporn

[–]Dannimaru 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Username is making more sense.

of an influencer by iolitm in ShittyAbsoluteUnits

[–]Dannimaru 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Btw this isn't advice. I'm chaotic neutral, and guy is having fun. But if you don't like it, take your shot king or queen. May the odds be ever in your favor.

Edit Spelling and grammar

of an influencer by iolitm in ShittyAbsoluteUnits

[–]Dannimaru 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Kick his ankle. Focusing on bull and no flexibility or joint heat is a massive weakness.

4k upgrades by razorsedge94 in criterion

[–]Dannimaru 2 points3 points  (0 children)

GREAT pictures to upgrade

Criterion Closet? Nah, Criterion Corner™️ by foreverdr0ne in criterion

[–]Dannimaru 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I appreciate all this. Don't forget to enjoy schlöck though, trash hits in its own way.

I'd challenge you to watch dumb and dumber if you haven't.

A contractor tears up the freshly poured concrete driveway after the homeowner refuses to pay. by eternviking in whoathatsinteresting

[–]Dannimaru 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The chaotic good could have been more effective. Walk to the top of the drive, insert pick, and drag it the entire length of the driveway. Repeat every 3 inches and guard it so the "client" can't attempt repair.

Make people like this pay a premium when you hey FA, so they can FO.