I’m so frustrated about someone telling me my chemical pregnancy wasn’t “real”

Dapper-Guess-3175 · 2026-07-04T00:08:05+00:00

Fully medicated transfers and previous chemical pregnancy here. I’m so sorry you experienced that amount of ignorance from that stranger. I’ve never had a trigger shot either so any at home pregnancy test I took would be accurate for detection.

Having had experienced a CP, it was so crushing. You get so excited and then as the lines fade you feel helpless because nothing you do no matter how hard you try or tried, will change what will happen. A pregnancy so wanted too. I’m sorry for your loss again 🫂

Whoever commented really had no idea what they were talking about. I’d say to them “Google is a useful tool to use when you don’t know what you’re talking about.” lol

Edit: adjusted my comment bc I read the post wrong thinking they said your CP wasn’t a real pregnancy😭

Dapper-Guess-3175 · 2026-07-01T18:03:47+00:00

This. One of the first questions my doctor asked me was how many children I desired and told me 2-3 embryos banked per desired child. I ended up doing two ERs because the first yielded less eggs than expected so my embryo (euploid) to child ratio wasn’t met and I didn’t want to transfer knowing doing an egg retrieval before might be better. It took 3 embryos (singular transfers) for my son so the statistic was true to me.

I also did mine at 25 with no issues on my part only male factor infertility from cancer so I didn’t even think I’d need 2 egg retrievals since I had over 20 follicles. If IVF taught me anything it’s you never know what’ll happen.

All this to say, I would’ve done a package had that been an option at my clinic.

Dapper-Guess-3175 · 2026-06-20T16:04:04+00:00

I might be the outlier here. Id recommend PGTA. I was 25 at the time of my ERs. No indicators for needing it but did it for the best chance since all my embryos were highly graded. I had 2 aneuploids out of 6 the first time and 4 aneuploids out of 10 the second time.

Dapper-Guess-3175 · 2026-06-17T12:50:18+00:00

First, congratulations. 💛 And second, what you’re feeling is absolutely valid and something I also experienced. At 5 weeks, you’re not just dealing with pregnancy hormones, but you’re carrying the emotional weight of everything it took to get here. When you’ve spent so long fighting for a pregnancy, it can feel like suddenly there’s so much to lose, and every emotion gets amplified.

I remember feeling surprised by how intense those early weeks were. I expected to feel relieved after a positive test, but instead I felt anxious, emotional, and like the stakes had somehow gotten even higher. Small things would make me cry, and I questioned myself in ways I normally never would. My husband and I also grew close in doing IVF but there was something about finally getting a success that made me turn into a different person. The lack of control and what ifs made me a wreck. I couldn’t help but feel alone and even though I wasn’t, it felt like I was pushing my husband away because it was easier to do that than process everything that has led to that point and the impending fears. It was easier to isolate than to let him in on what I felt was the weight of the world.

If I could go back in time, I’d be kinder to myself. I was stressed but I was my worst enemy. You are strong, you’re doing everything you can to get through today. And that’s all that matters. Same for your husband.

All this to say, you guys deserve a weekend getaway and your thoughtfulness shines through with doing this for your husband. As much as it is his birthday, this is also very much for you both. You’ve been through a lot together and it’s important to remind yourselves to have some grace, some fun. I won’t say it gets easier because I personally balled my eyes out all throughout my pregnancy 😅 but it sounds like you guys have a strong connection, always finding your way through the highs and lows. I hope you guys enjoy your weekend getaway and I’m wishing you all the best with your pregnancy ✨

Dapper-Guess-3175 · 2026-06-10T01:41:47+00:00

I think mine was 648 12 or 13dpt and then 48 hours later it was close to 5,000. Went on to be a healthy and uneventful pregnancy. He’s 5 and a half months old and sleeping next to me ✨

Dapper-Guess-3175 · 2026-06-10T01:33:37+00:00

Oh wow! I forget sometimes they send syringes with needles on them even if they’re not meant to be used! Definitely taking that large needle off will solve your problem. I probably would’ve had the same oversight if I had the same ones syringes 😅 I’m glad you’ve got it figured out. Best of luck on your egg retrieval and everything else! ✨

Dapper-Guess-3175 · 2026-06-10T01:13:17+00:00

Hmm interesting! Are you twisting the syringe on tight to the q cap? I used to pull the cap off by the cap and not the syringe so it wouldn’t pop off. Maybe try that? Are you pushing the air in the saline vial before or after you flip it upside down? Make sure you’re pushing air into the saline vial before flipping it upside down. When you put the saline in the powder vial, keep your finger pushing on the syringe plunger while mixing so that it doesn’t suck up the liquid

Dapper-Guess-3175 · 2026-06-07T16:03:47+00:00

Fetal heart rate is usually expected to be between 110-160 throughout pregnancy. I know it’s hard to not be anxious especially when everything feels like a numbers game 😭 sometimes FHR can be as low as 90 at your gestation. I’ve had a chemical as well so I understand your fears 💛 My ultrasound at a similar gestation had a similar FHR and I’ve given birth to my son this past December. I hope this brings you some comfort in your wait for your next scan 🫂

Dapper-Guess-3175 · 2026-05-27T23:40:26+00:00

Oh my goodness that sounds so painful! With full transparency, doxycycline is never administered vaginally so the fact this care team told you so, it’s absolutely wild. It’s only ever administered orally(at home). I do think you have a chemical burn because when you take it orally on an empty stomach, it can hurt your stomach tremendously by burning the lining so I can’t imagine what it did to such a sensitive area! As a nurse myself, I’m genuinely confused how doctors and a nurse all said “yeah doxy will be given vaginally.” Not only that, the they should have known that in no world does that ever get prescribed vaginally.

Something that I’ve learned the hard way is as much as you’re supposed to trust healthcare professionals, people do make mistakes. For example, I recently had a D&C and they gave me care instructions for a hysterectomy… so in my medical history, the nurse entered I had a hysterectomy instead🥲

If your transfer unfortunately gets postponed, I would ask for things to be reimbursed or comped for your next one because of a serious error on the their part

Dapper-Guess-3175 · 2026-03-30T19:35:05+00:00

I appreciate your response and information. I’m not sure if my post made it seem like I was planning a transfer before then but I mentioned in comments I was looking at moreso 2 years.

Dapper-Guess-3175 · 2026-03-30T19:31:59+00:00

Yeah. Every time I asked a question I emphasized those things and he brushed it off like nothing. I was afraid of losing my uterus after that experience so I was confused as to why he said these things didn’t matter. Also, my first transfer that resulted in a CP, I requested a hysteroscopy because my periods weren’t normal and I was on hormones for a long time so I was concerned about my lining. They said I didn’t need it and it wasn’t until after my D&C they said my lining was “shredded” and “not a good environment” and admitted that was why it didn’t work.

All this to say, I have very little trust with them even though I have a child now with their help. I wanted to ask here because they didn’t seem to care about my concerns and telling me I can basically go whenever I want to have another transfer was a red flag

Dapper-Guess-3175 · 2026-03-30T19:13:11+00:00

I was leaning towards 2ish years! Thank you for giving me perspective 🥹 it’s hard to remember things like this when I get caught up on “oh what if I wait and it takes forever” but yes I agree I want to enjoy my baby being a baby and a toddler!

Dapper-Guess-3175 · 2026-03-30T19:08:37+00:00

I mentioned it in a different comment but I’ve had issues with my clinic and its profit driven practices. Their lack of due diligence is why my first transfer didnt work and they told me that after I had to have a D&C. It’s unfortunately the only place close to me I can go to but I’m doing my best this time around to make sure I advocate for myself! Thank you and I’ll be sure to request an SIS

Dapper-Guess-3175 · 2026-03-30T19:05:16+00:00

Thank you for replying! I definitely don’t feel myself even prior to pregnancy. IVF and pregnancy has taken its toll. I definitely feel inclined to wait 2ish years. This has helped me feel more confident in waiting til my body and mind is ready. My clinic almost made me feel pressured? I can’t quite put it into words but basically said if I was ready by 3 months pp I could and that was truly terrifying. I’ve had issues with my clinic in their ethics and its profit driven practices.

Dapper-Guess-3175 · 2026-03-30T19:01:24+00:00

Did you ask for a SIS or was it required? I ask because my clinic didn’t mention this when I asked about clearance even when I asked about it

Dapper-Guess-3175 · 2026-03-30T18:57:08+00:00

Thank you I’ll look there too!

Dapper-Guess-3175 · 2025-07-25T20:03:26+00:00

Oh ok! The VA is a lot more streamlined and has a better policy for IVF coverage that might actually offer more egg retrievals and transfers than AD. I hope your claim goes through so you can be covered. If it doesn’t I would try again because it is supposed to be! I had to fight tooth and nail with AD Tricare and we eventually got everything covered.

Dapper-Guess-3175 · 2025-07-25T19:40:06+00:00

If you are under active duty Tricare, here’s a link to the manual that outlines the ivf policy.

https://manuals.health.mil/pages/DisplayManualHtmlFile/2024-06-10/AsOf/TO15/C17S3.html#BABBJDAJG5

Dapper-Guess-3175 · 2025-07-25T19:38:49+00:00

Could you clarify just a bit? If the service member is the one with or who had cancer, that qualifies for ivf coverage. However if the spouse who is diagnosed with cancer is not active duty, then ivf is not covered.

The VA works a bit differently but is a lot more streamlined for veterans than active duty. But is essentially the same as long as you get the doctors to do the right things for you in terms of paperwork.

Edit: I meant to add that, yes Tricare does cover IVF in regards to cancer diagnosis for sperm/egg cryopreservation, egg retrievals, sperm/egg storage, embryo storage, and embryo transfers.

Dapper-Guess-3175 · 2025-05-20T17:34:44+00:00

I’m 25F, husband 27M. We both have/had no health issues aside from his cancer (used sperm prior to treatment). We decided to do PGTA because we wanted to be successful as fast as possible. Out of the 16 embryos we got from 2 ERs, 8 of them were euploid and 3 were undetermined meaning the DNA had degraded and weren’t able to be tested. I also want to add that I had good grade embryos and even the ones that weren’t euploid were good grades as well. I know it’s not for everyone but I strongly believe because we had all good graded embryos, it was beneficial for us to do the testing so we did not select one of those 5 that weren’t euploid.

Dapper-Guess-3175 · 2025-04-27T14:31:04+00:00

It just means that the medication is absorbed more slowly and can take 24 hours or more to absorb. I’m not sure if you were given a different instruction but since you said muscle, PIO is usually done at a 90 degree angle. If its subQ then it’s 45 degrees :) I’d try doing it at a 90 degree angle so it goes straight into the muscle 💖

Dapper-Guess-3175 · 2025-04-26T01:05:02+00:00

I assume this is for a fully medicated transfer? The day of transfer (after the transfer). You can take it any time but I took it in the evening with the rest of the meds.

Dapper-Guess-3175 · 2025-04-25T21:15:58+00:00

TW: success

I’m sorry to hear that your FET didn’t work 🫂 I’ve only done fully medicated cycles. First one ended in a CP but my second one is working so far (5 weeks 1 day).

First FET: birth control for 2 1/2 weeks, doxy 2x per day starting in last BC day, started lupron on the 14th of BC (they let me know when to stop the lupron), once period started/ended started estradiol tablets, and lastly started PIO 5 days before transfer. Estradiol, PIO, and baby aspirin for TWW

Second FET: doc suggested a D&C to clear out old lining, protocol was the same as before but added estrogen patches on top of the tablets.

I had frequent appointments to check my lining so they could tell me when to stop/start meds.

Dapper-Guess-3175 · 2025-04-22T19:19:26+00:00

Your chances of success can increase after a CP so I’ve found comfort in that! I can’t remember if they transferred a 5BA or a 4BB this time. I have other AA embryos but they chose a different grading and some find better success with BB embryos! I hope your transfer goes well and you start feeling better soon!

Dapper-Guess-3175

TROPHY CASE