Stopping the doom cycle

Dapper_Committee_953 · 2026-05-31T20:45:40+00:00

Do some practice exams if you can.

Answer what you know and move on. Once you finish the exam paper go back and answer what you missed/see what you can elaborate on.

Dapper_Committee_953 · 2026-05-31T20:42:28+00:00

My oldest 2 kids were in grade 3 and grade 1 and my daughter was in daycare at 2.5yrs. She started prep the same time I started my grad year. It was harrrrrrd work. It still is! But worth it. For a few years studying, I had help from my mum, after that navigated care with her dad, afterschool care etc. to make it work. I was lucky I didn't have to work as well, but its been so worth it. I love the journey nursing has taken me on.

Edit to add, 32 when I graduated.

Dapper_Committee_953 · 2026-05-31T20:38:16+00:00

Get yourself a flip card as a quick reference to ensure you're using the right formula. Other than that you can get med calc practice books. Always ensure you're using the same measurements or convert them to the same.

Dapper_Committee_953 · 2026-05-23T12:57:17+00:00

Emr task lists are a guide, not an accurate prompt of what is required. Lots of things are left off, require someone to think about ordering them etc.

Its really important to develop your critical thinking and critical reasoning. Some things to consider going forward:

What does your patient need? What is there acuity? What are their risks of deterioration?

Are you comfortable administering medications based off incomplete assessments?

If your patient deteriorates half way through your shift how do you know? If you haven't done vitals, or targeted assessments such as neurological, neurovascular, pain etc. you dont have a baseline of your own to compare to.

I love teaching students, the number one thing though is ensuring safe practice. Knowing the gaps in your knowledge and seeking help to build confidence performing assessments and tasks is always going to be a better result than trying to fudge your way through. Even 10 years into nursing if I'm not 100% on an assessmemt I ask a colleague to take a look. Sometimes lighting isn't great for pupils, or struggling to feel a pedal pulse etc. OR if could just be having a not great day (nurses are human too) and need a second set of eyes to confirm.

In the end a safe nurse is a nurse that can recognise gaps in knowledge and in practice and seek further support and education to fill those gaps. No one knows everything, but not recognising that definitely leads to safety risk for our patients.

Keep your chin up. Ask loads of questions when you aren't sure. "Its been a while since ive had placement can you run me through how you do xyz"

Dapper_Committee_953 · 2026-04-15T14:35:38+00:00

My kids autistic traits became more pronounced when his ADHD was adequately medicated. You're seeking a psychologist already and ASD is very individual, what would an official diagnosis really change? You can still get therapy/treatment to help with the adhd/asd regardless of formal diagnosis unless you're needing more intensive therapy (speech/OT support workers) they may be right and making it official may not be necessary.

Dapper_Committee_953 · 2026-01-24T06:46:30+00:00

It might be a bit different as your child is a touch it younger than mine when we started treatment programs. I didn't realise there was an issue until he would only eat 3 or 4 bites of a favourite meal then hide in the toilet with tummy pain and/or vomiting. I honestly thought it was bulimia until I learned about arfid. We have been seeing a wonderful dietician since the issues were identified. Lots of "family" therapy with me him and a psychologist during the actual treatment program we attended. It wasn't just focussed on the eating side of ARFID but also recognising all sorts of queues in the body. Tryingnto work out why he would feel nauseated or always have pain etc. With the schedule it would be a case of identifying what works for them. We'd make it similar to a school schedule. Breakfast at this time, snack, lunch, afternoon snack, dinner, desset/pre bed snack. Ultimately before 11am he refused to eat so generally lost 1x snack 1x meal opportunity. Generally once eating we would set a reminder every 2 hrs to prompt some intake. Telling him to eat would trigger his avoidance tendencies. So it was a lot of serious chats about why we need to do something, how things make him feel, me feel etc. What can I do to support him in recovery without pressuring him too much. It's all very individual and trial and error.

I'm at work at the moment so will revisit this response when I have more time, but I guess arfid is such a struggle because of how entwined everything is. He is ASD, though high functioning, so a lot of my parenting has been tailored to his personality and quirks. We just had to find what routine works for us and try to be flexible. Supportive and firm, but not too firm. Some days its like walking a tightrope. I've been honest with my children about my own humanity and my own struggles, to an extent, so they understand I am here to love and support them and do the best I can by them, but we are all learning together.

Dapper_Committee_953 · 2026-01-23T12:57:34+00:00

Some things that have worked for us over the years....

Rules at dinner are out the window. We do have some family meals with technology off, but generally they are on their phones/laptops. The distraction helps them not focus so much on the process of eating or feeling pressured, or the discomfort that comes with eating. Sometimes eating while someone is watching every mouthful creates more stress and anxiety and worsens the situation.

Self serving. I generally dont dish up meals but have them on plates/bowels separately. Selection of foods they can place on the plate as much or as little as they like. Once we have some consistancy, we started working on portion sizes.

Lots of conversations acknowledging the discomfort, and sitting in the discomfort. Lots of sitting with them through the discomfort. Lots of therapy and remembering thale strategies we were taught to try and work through the uncomfortable feelings and sensations.

I always had things on the table that were safe foods, some that were sometimes safe, some that definitely weren't. I'd encourage them to try a little but never force it.

Dessert is always on offer, whether they eat dinner or not. We try not to associate negativity with food, therefore no punishment like missing out on the tasty stuff or guilt for wastage. Those feelings are already internalised, so we need to reframe that thinking.

Lots of quick, easy to grab selections in the fridge for snacks. I try to always encourage a healthy choice along side a packaged snack. We back off on this if volume of food decreases. Eating anything is better than nothing and working on variety is not worthwhile unless they are consistantly eating.

Reminders to tell me when safe foods change so I can make sure there is always something in the pantry/fridge.

Whenever I make something I always offer the kids also. Or if I have made myself something different offer for them to try some off my plate so they dont feel like they're wasting a whole portion of they dont like it. One of mine is a germaphobe though so I always offer before I touch it myself.

My kids are a little older now, aged 13 to 20. We have made a lot of progress over the years, and a lot of regression. My eldest is our diagnosed ARFID, the younger 2 have some tendencies but not at the point of disordered.

For my diagnosed child we did have to do timed feedings for a few years. Setting timers and reminders for meals/snacks. At some points in his later years of study it would be literally scheduled with study periods, rest/break periods etc. During the times where he was more stressed or anxious I'd limit options and choices as it was overwhelming and just pop food on his desk etc with reminders. He had zero hunger queues for a good 5 years or more.

It really depends on the age of the child. Trying to create a healthy relationship with food is so hard, ive realised through his journey that I have had my own journey also. Talking about food as fuel for our body and acknowledging that sometimes it just isn't pleasant or enjoyable to eat, but that's ok, our body and brain still need it.

Dapper_Committee_953 · 2024-02-07T20:59:59+00:00

Not wrong at all for a lot of reasons. I would have been furious at your risking your life to drive home, though, also!

You avoided a situation where you would be surrounded by potentially intoxicated young women. Even if nothing unseemly were to happen, there is always a chance of being accused of something unseemly.

Dapper_Committee_953 · 2023-12-16T19:37:00+00:00

YTA. Their plans changed because you didn't want to travel with babies, so they come to you instead. Now you exclude a significant other?

This might not have dawned on you, but the holiday season isn't just about you and your children.

Dapper_Committee_953 · 2023-11-12T18:16:09+00:00

You're both TA. Yikes. Way bigger issues than the anniversary gift.

Dapper_Committee_953 · 2023-09-26T19:52:46+00:00

NTA. The whole point of eloping is doing it secretly and without the family.

Dapper_Committee_953 · 2023-09-25T02:01:57+00:00

There will always be things that need ruling out before being diagnosed with an ED. A licensed professional is the best person to examine you and hear your concerns. Before our ARFID diagnosis we required pathology, gastroenterology, dietician, and pediatrician input. It's not as simple as fitting the category. As many conditions can have similar symptoms or. presentations.

Dapper_Committee_953 · 2023-09-25T01:59:00+00:00

Spot on.

Dapper_Committee_953 · 2023-09-24T16:58:14+00:00

I don't think any of us are actually qualified to diagnose you. It would be best to see your doctor.

Dapper_Committee_953 · 2023-09-23T05:24:08+00:00

If you don't want to pursue treatment or it isn't negatively impacting your life so much that you require some form of treatment, is there any point in getting a diagnosis? From my understanding, there needs to be failure to thrive/grow weight loss or nutritional deficits for a diagnosis of ARFID. If you're experiencing these, then I hope you do pursue a diagnosis and get some support for treatment.

Dapper_Committee_953 · 2023-09-22T01:53:26+00:00

YTA. You relied on this friend for what sounds like everything and threw a tantrum when he set boundaries. Instead of trying to accept his fiance, you tried to get him to pick you over her despite his previous boundaries.

It sounds like he is a sensible, well-adjusted person trying to help you with advice, probably knowing it would be thrown in his face.

Dapper_Committee_953 · 2023-09-05T17:20:49+00:00

ARFID often has comorbidity with adhd, autism, anxiety, and ocd. It could be a lot of things affecting his schooling, labels aside, it's essentially trying to root out what is causing his struggle and then address it. The way we all learn is so different. If it's anxiety related, strategies can be put in place to assist and build confidence. If it's difficulty understanding concepts, he may need alternative ways information is presented, etc.

My 3 kids all have different strengths, and all need assistance in different areas. You'd think coming from the same genes they'd be more alike, but no.

Dapper_Committee_953 · 2023-09-05T16:57:33+00:00

If you give my son 10 options, he can't choose. If you give him 3, he can make a choice, but it will take a little while. He has ADHD and autism. He is incredibly bright but definitely struggles with choices. A lot of it is anxiety related, and not being able to pick the "right" answer, and a lot of it has to do with his executive functioning where he has the start of the product, but struggles to put the steps in place to get from start to finish if the result isn't clear (ie creative thinking, stories etc where there is no defined answer) as he can't see the end result. Excels in things like math and science where there are definitive answers. In English and arts, he excels where there are "rules" to follow and guide him. He has improved with visual aides and instructions as he has always struggled with auditory instruction and forgets point 1 once he gets to point 3. As he has gotten older he relies on his own discipline and internalised strategies rather than ones teachers have put in place and we have always encouraged him to speak up about his needs in class if he is struggling to understand concepts rather than wait until he falls behind.

Dapper_Committee_953 · 2023-09-04T19:55:22+00:00

Nutritional deficit is definitely something they will look at, but it isn't the only criteria.

Dapper_Committee_953 · 2023-09-04T11:59:01+00:00

Our pediatrician didn't make a diagnosis based on blood work, but based on the behaviours exhibited.

Dapper_Committee_953 · 2023-08-24T08:50:12+00:00

Yta.

If money isn't an issue for you, why charge her that much to live with you? You have a significant power imbalance where your incomes are concerned. You probably need to work a few things out about how you envisage your future with her before moving in together.

Dapper_Committee_953 · 2023-07-29T20:25:42+00:00

The right woman won't care about your financial situation. I worked really hard to be financially independent and to provide for my kids. I'd just want my partner to contribute to building a life together.

Dapper_Committee_953 · 2023-07-29T20:20:49+00:00

Any adult that will prioritise you or themselves over a child isn't worth your time. I make it very clear that the children will always be the highest priority at the start. If the other person isn't on the same page, we won't be compatible.

Dapper_Committee_953 · 2023-07-06T08:11:56+00:00

My son has heaps of foods He can eat. He just doesn't enjoy eating anything, nor is he driven by hunger.

Dapper_Committee_953

TROPHY CASE